I have no fucking idea what everyone is talking about with coffee I had two cans an hour and a half ago and already feel like shit and want to go to bed.

Why is "i'm tired and want to be left alone" such a difficult concept for people to understand

you ever have one of those days that just leave you wishing boobs were real brother, that is every day of my life

no sex with claire no sex with ashley no sex with grace no sex with sherry no sex with hunnigan no sex with ada no sex with helena leon s kennedy confirmed gay icon

everybunny talking shit on tumblr soundsl ike they need to have a chat with the humblr

Ok guys I have a serious post to make here. And it is to NEVER EVER buy the 12v tire fillers at Walmart. My car's been dinging me for low tire pressure so I decided after work to fill them up. First tire down and as I take the quick release nozzle off, the tire stem just keeps pissing[...]

Most times I'm the only person at my store with a working vehicle so I'm the only person who can do the daily bank runs. When I get called in on my day off to do one, I take an extra hour to shop at the grocery store near the bank. #antiwork #wage-theft-is-based #they-stole-more-from-us

How come blackface is ok when arianna grande does it

[sex joke] When a trans girl squirts is that blahaj blast

Gave up on NixOS pretty quick. Seems neat but not what I was looking for. Replaced it with Fedora atomic with cosmic desktop. I'll see how this works out for me. Cosmic seems pretty neat so far, like gnome if the gnome devs weren't huffing their own farts constantly.

Doug DeMuro has so many videos of neat cars that nobody else covers but they're all unwatchable because his voice and speech cadence are so fucking unlistenable.

haven't touched the drawing app in 10 days so here's me as an airpod

It irks me when people use the content warning feature for thinks that aren't content warningey. Like putting their fandom ramblings and sfw art or jokes behind them. Just post your stuff home slice. If people don't like seeing harmless fandom posts that's their problem. Leave the con[...]

Yeah, we're friends with benefits. She put me on her health insurance and I put her on my dental.

You'd think that since water, for us Dry Folk, is The Great Cleanser, fish and amphibians would be squeaky clean at all times. Unfortunately, They Are Gross.

how do nurses do it

Wake the buck up, everypony. It's brohoof time /)

i ate some royal danish snails they looked nothing like snails i don't think denmark has snails

I'd be so much more content with life if I had a tail to swish around when I was annoyed or frustrated like a cat.

Big women.

We should raise the age of consent to 27

What do you mean I need to install MS-DOS, I haven't even installed MS-UNO.

Very Important Message Regarding HyTale

I have done some cleaning and found $749 lying under piles of clutter. Now I'm wondering how much money I've lost just by setting it down and misplacing it.

Ever have one of those times where you've been working two or three weeks straight 8-10 hour days completely by yourself because there's no other employees and your boss comes in at the end just like "looks like you didn't get a lot done yesterday" i fucking hate work who do i have to kill to retire

bluesky more like goose guy

I'd kiss a goblin

It is January 8th. I am on the 40th latitude. I have my windows open for some warm, fresh air. This is hell and we have created it.

Imagine calling yourself an adult and still calling them snakes instead of snacobs. grow up.

I'm playing more of S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2 into the story and I just have one question. Why did they make Scar such a goddamn weirdo? He's acting and talking like a pokemon villain. Like Jesse and James would look at him and tell him to chill out a bit. #s.t.a.l.k.e.r.

if i go onto italian social media with this name will they kill me

gnome kissing should be illegal

I wish I could say first contact would make us immediately unify as one human force against all the xeno scum but honestly with the way things are now I think we'd spend the first six weeks shitposting about it not believing it actually happened yet until the aliens start showing up on tinder.

I like my women how I like my asparagus. Stinky pee.

[putting yourself in the forever box meme]

fuck bulk releasing entire seasons of shows i miss spending every week anticipating for the next episode and talking to people about what happened this week and speculating on what's going to happen next week and having theories and shit FUCK YOU NETFLIX FUCK YOU

I'm not human.

I swear to god if I open the kitchen cabinets one more time and there's another squeebler in there I am going to burn the entire house down.

looks like i'm not using tumblr today

Thumblr. Tumblr except every post has to be about thumbs.

did you knwo its nobemver

if i ever work fast food it will be my personal mission to start a cholera outbreak in my city you can fucking quote that to the judge agent ramirez

i have nothing to post except complaints about life where is sarah tonin when i need her

#voicesofthevoid #votv

I swear I was more active in general before my hopitaling. I even quit duolingo because I broke my year+ streak during it.

The deer picture saying "my dog won't bark I think he's gay" has permanently and fundamentally altered my brain chemistry and now every deer I see is just a gay dog.

i am finally about to win against the woke mafia #this-is-a-post-about-going-to-bed-i'm-sleepy

join me in a quest to find the sacred spring