That’s my guy, too!

I’m sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store with the last $13 I have to my name wondering if I should buy food, or put it in the gas tank.

Give, but don’t complain. Offer ideas, but don’t criticize. Who TF did you think I was for all these years? …the last mediation.

Chewey dog and I have been settling in at our place. Today, I forgot to put the piddle pads down for the time I was going to be gone. He’s so much happier here with me in CO.

Utter sh*tshow of a day. Local library had “A Good Year” dvd to loan… I am attempting to course-correct for tomorrow’s continued messy living experiment.

Recovery, for me right now, means a baking tray full of warm cinnamon toast that imma eat by myself while watching “The Craft”, “Practical Magic”, and “The Witches of Eastwick”. And there’s egg nog chai, too. Don’t judge me.

1000% me.

*and

Hey! Another good thing happened today: class action settlement came and I got $350!! Deposit and then internet shopping for apartment comforts. Immediately bought a daybed/couch and coffee table for the living room. Delivery tomorrow! Starting over, again? Yeah, I can do that. #tenaciousTrixie

I spent the day at the hospital with PCOS symptoms. I know because I’ve been dx’d with PCOS since my early 20s. The pain is indescribable. Not once did the urgent care provider, ER docs, or MA’s ask me about the ovary that didn’t get raptured. The female providers doing the scans asked, though.

Can’t have a bigger shark in that water… @mcuban.bsky.social

🏳️

Insomnia. Guess it’s ok, since I’m not going to work in a few hours. I think I’ll drive ***Eats later, get a little scratch that way. There’s also a sh*ftsm*rt I can do, too. Hopefully, I can sleep soon.

It feels like it all fell apart today: additional req’d vax for job after titer test results; 3rd party edu verifier failed to find my HS transcript so I had to get my own (35 years ago, ffs!); internal server error on offer letter; result? I cannot start work Monday. I’ve put myself in a corner.

$29 airfare (because of saved up miles) to go get my dog and some “comfort items” from where they’ve been safely staying in Alabama. My new service aide helped me with bus fare to the airport. I have a lifelong disability. For too long, I was denied aid for “reasons”. That chapter has ended.

Ahem…. I AM *IN* MY NEW APARTMENT!!

23 hours to put together $1675 for an apartment of my very own, so I can move in tomorrow (no more “camping”!)

563 sq ft. Ground floor. 1br, 1ba. Dedicated parking spot. 20 min from the new job. Walking distance to the post office. Rent I can afford. I really want this apartment.

Back to my mountain today. More camping, while I attempt to secure a stable domicile. Not cryptic, this is actually the plan. Plus have to do some things for the job offer to mature into a paying job. (Substance testing, vax boosters, etc since job is in health care setting.)

Even from nosebleed section… The Indigo Girls and The Melissa Etheridge singing “Closer To Fine” with 7k people? Perfection!

Concert tonight, that I treated myself to when the kids left for Idaho. Yeah, I’ll be up in the upper deck of the venue, but live music? in an amphitheater? one of my favorite bands + a solo artist I’ve loved since the 90s? @melissaetheridge.bsky.social @indigogirlsmusic.bsky.social bliss.

I received a verbal job offer yesterday; “docs to sign” promised by email. 4 hours passed, then “hey, can I get your email?” And now at 12 hours gone & no docs, I’m beginning to wonder. I am sitting on another offer where all docs came quickly. Different state. Same $. Same start date. 🤷🏼‍♀️ wtd.

I think I’ve actually begun to enjoy hosting the trainwreck known as “you f*cked around, now you get to find out” starting my toxic, narcissistic ex. Y’all. The receipts I have on this man…will be a most excellent essay book in the future, even if I have to self-pub.

Moreover, he didn’t sanction Brian Kilmeade, and he should have (inasmuch as he had the authority, in theory).

Denied for an apartment today after an appeal. I put up 5 months rent as a security deposit. I’m about to become one of those people who rents office space to have a safe place to sleep while doing all my hygiene at Planet Fitness, it’s that disheartening out here.

Did none of you see the playbook exposure in the Cheney biopic? Cause we sure didn’t see it in real-time. That’s exactly how you boil a frog: by slowly turning the temp up. The world on fire every damn day and all the time gets you burn out, not commitment to affecting change. Pay attention!

I’m here for the vibe, just sayin’

Leaving Idaho this morning, a little more aware of this part of the world. It’s been a great week, and I feel good about the choices that I made about my future while I was here. Reverting to survival level while having some assets to manage for “comfort” living? Game changer. It’s just stuff.

What the actual f**k?!?

I only came to love Supernatural in 2020… when the pandemic was raging around us and I wanted to connect with my teenage daughter. I’ve met so many wonderful people because of this show, and its legacy of redefining family. #carryon Happy 20th Anniversary!

Coeur d’Alene has not turned out to be what I thought it was. Best part: my Kid is content.

It’s not a con weekend without a @abeautifulswan.bsky.social selfie…

I really enjoyed my time in Seattle. Full-throated ❤️. I’ll come back, definitely.

…where I spent my weekend…

I haven’t been to Seattle since 2016. It is both melancholy-inducing and exciting to be here this weekend. Let’s hope I don’t do or say anything to screw myself over/up.

I arrive at DEN to fly to Seattle for CE TVD… “Carry On My Wayward Son” on the speakers. All y’all going to Chicago? Have such a good time.

Miss Ma’am… I’m a five steps ahead planner, but I go in order and one at a time when we are in performance. We do not rush; we trust the process. #AdventuresInHousing

Shut up, Tom. You’re part of why we have what’s in the Executive Branch right now. Take a seat, and keep your devisive thoughts to yourself.

They’ve been on the bus all day. The circuitous route? They’re now 2 hours north of my current location. In other words, I could have driven them to where they are, if I’d been asked. These are the lessons they need to learn on their own, bless their hearts.

Ugh. So I went to Culver’s. I got ducked! Then I bought powerball tickets.

Sad AF? Buy concert ticket to @indigogirlsmusic.bsky.social

There is nothing, and nothingness, and I am drowning in despair.

Loaded up the Jeep… sick of performance expectations from “others”. I’m too much? Go find less.

This apartment screening service is grilling my kid to char. Like, thanks for humiliating her over and over again after telling her everything would be ok. She’s hysterical, which is really not great for her health and the health of her baby. This sucks.

I hate it’s on Substack…

It started last week at my place, just saying.

You know what happens when you hit rock bottom? Nothing. When you settle into the futility? Dust and soot are your constant companions.

Everyone is “fine” but we all need to manage our stressors better… In case anyone was wondering. 🤰🏼

Mmmm. Coffee. The suit is sweet, too.