ARA!!! 💖 Character I love and 5 friends to do the same! AGENT STONE, MY BELOVED! Man HCed so hard he became one of the most important/beloved characters in the movies! @titania86.bsky.social @scootsss.bsky.social @fizzysockz.bsky.social @alternatemarvel.bsky.social @frizzycrls.bsky.social

If you repeat "bloody mary" five times in the mirror, you'll be asked to leave the mirror store.

I want to promise you all that no matter how big this site gets, I will NEVER sell out to the makers of Windex, the world’s leading brand of glass and hard-surface cleaners, known and trusted for over 50 years

ME: *trying to push the ring girl back into the tv with a broom* no. NO. fuck off! come on! get... go back in there!

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But I kind of need it back now. Losing a lot of blood here. Soooo...

You miss 100% of the bank robberies you don't take.

[sponsored post] Applebee’s: Don’t worry about it.

If you enter a stranger's home, always remove your shoes. Then remove their shoes. Hold them down. Take their shoes. Get their shoes off.

Stop giving that man fish. It's weird that you do that.

Meteorologists announced this morning that they've invented "Crazy Rain" and something called "Giggle Clouds." Also: a vaccine for wind.

Hip hip hooray! Knee knee knooray! Ankle ankle Anklooray!

This post is sponsored by bagels: it's bread but with a hole.

The haters said it couldn't be done. The haters said we would never succeed. And the haters were completely right, but we still think they were pretty rude about it.

Remember that one year where there were just clowns appearing everywhere? That doesn't happen anymore because they have been hunted to extinction.

Any big summer plans? Summer plans that you keep in a heavily guarded vault? Summer plans that our unlikely team of scrappy outsiders can steal in a thrilling heist?

Support your local farmers market! Need potatoes? They've got them! Potatoes? You bet! Strawberries? They have potatoes why are you getting greedy now.

One way to reduce stress is to meditate. Another way is to not live under a fascist government. This has been wellness tips!

Cars sound so stupid. "Beep beep." "Vroom" Do you even listen to yourselves? Embarrassing.

Spill the tea. Splatter the juice. I'm thirsty for gossip, absolutely spray the Coca Cola everywhere.

Sun's out, guns out! Let's blast that thing out of the sky.

*uploading your consciousness to a computer* well there you go, you're immortal. also check this out, I can change your language settings. yeah, you're just a bunch of code approximating someone who already died, oops I changed all your memories, now I made you excel, death would have been better

Trading the devil my soul for the ability to play guitar real good, only to find out I'm still garbage at guitar but like what am I going to do to the devil, sue him? Post a bad review?

Bedroom tip: try incorporating ancient rites and chants, to spice things up

I hope this cursed videotape finds you well

No worries if not. Lots of worries if.

Lost: cat. Has no idea what he’s doing with his life or why the universe so very large

YOLO - you oughta love oatmeal

The world is not out to get you. That's paranoid thinking. There are, at most, three to fifteen people out to get you, working day and night on your downfall. Relax.

Hi I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is continuing to go to my email job during These Times.

Dress for the job you want (Dracula); not the job you have (Office Manager at a Credit Union).

A picture is still worth a thousand words, but due to AI slop, those words are all melting, illegible gibberish.

They're a dime a dozen. By which I mean they are an incredible deal the likes of which we have not seen for decades.

“A horse!” - William Shakespeare

Happy birthday, if it's your birthday. If it's not your birthday, please print this out and look at it on the right date.

You are statistically way more likely to die on the drive to the airport than in a plane crash, so don't worry, you can be freaked out about that part too.

Unfortunately, due to the economy, a penny saved is now 0.6 of a penny earned.

Knock knock. Who's there? ...who's there? I don't see anyone out there, but the knocking is getting louder and more insistent. Please, who's there, I'm scared.

It's always Thanksgiving and never You'rewelcomegiving. Very rude.

Dress for the job you want (Bog Witch) not the job you have (Regular Witch)

Correlation is not causation? Not with that attitude, it’s not.

I’m doing great {{citation needed}}

All the news that's fit to print. But like the British meaning of fit. We're looking for sexy news.

Thank your lucky stars. Curse your unlucky stars. Give a polite nod to your neutral stars.

The children are the future - whispering, translucent children with glowing eyes who come through the walls at night. They are the future.

late night murdermedia because my ass just wont go to sleep ☕ #hazbinhotel #murdermedia #radiostatic #staticradio #voxal

I actually suffer from cant’color-itis. #hazbinhotel #alastor #voxal #radiostatic #vox #hazbinhotelalastor

I really wanted to do this scene too, Vincent finally letting go was so hot!! 🥵 Please read Static if u havent archiveofourown.org/works/743874... #hazbinhotel #radiostatic #murdermedia #voxal #static #staticradio

Murdermedia art I did for my sis 🙂‍↕️ #radiostatic