I need a heavier weighted blanket, I want it to border on being a potential torture device.

I'm so upset I slipped on the salt. Like they used salt that was perfectly round so it was like stepping on a bunch of marbles. What's the point of salt if it's slippery than the ice? I'm completely fine by the way.

Pretends I'm an archaeologist as I show you flash videos

My legs asleep but the cat is there and also asleep, so I must suffer.

I'm giving myself a foot soak and I'm willing to sell the water.

I don't like pooping, my ass should be used for seduction not waste disposal.

*unoriginals your OC* get public domained bitch

The concept of heaven scares me. I can't imagine eternal bliss without being a completely different person.

More gender-swapped slutty goth versions of male furry characters please

If I was cloned and my previous self was turned into a puddle of goo, I think I'd have to get a spoon and taste myself.

I'm about to travel to my family's for the holiday and I can't help but think how insane it is that in an hour and a half I'm going to do a drive the distance that before cars took like three or four days to complete.

When a book advertises "New York Times Best seller" I can't help but laugh, I just think "I've read other books on that list so I know that's not something worth bragging about"

Listening to people online complain about hosting Thanksgiving dinner and I wanna yell at all of them that no one is forcing them to cook 15 different dishes.

I'm happy to see some of my family tomorrow but what I'm really excited for is Friday when I'm gonna get high and eat shrimp cocktail all day.

Bluesky I need your help, I'm trying to remember what movie or show a scene was from. It's a spy parody where one of the gadgets the MC is given a pair of pants that activate a bomb if he zips up the pants. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

Give me a character creator in a game and I will almost always make a woman with a scar over her cheek or eye.

The best shows are the shows that can be described as "every character in this needs therapy"

Enjoying a nice hot glass of Riddler juice

Be careful around sliding doors, they're unhinged.

I can't wait to get off work I'm going to go across the street to that bar that serves super greasy eggs for happy hour.

The chance of a maid outfit you order online looking anything like the picture or having even remotely close measurements to what's stated is less than 10%

The older I get the more I believe every job should come with a half hour paid nap to come after the paid lunch.

You know how the right loves to say the left are the violent ones. Name one murder on the left that was turned into a paid public speaker.

Metroidvania is an outdated term, i'm gonna start calling it edging game design. you put areas and upgrades the players really really want to get but you only let them have it hours later

Today is the day to repost this meme about International Men's Day, one of the most unironically wholesome memes that has ever been made. Shoutout to all my fellow champs, chiefs, and kings. ✊

Is it just me or does there seem to be less artwork showing up on Blusky?

I wish some of these games came out a year or two ago because they could have had a good chance at winning if they weren't against Expedition 33.

I don't like that there are AI parenting assistance apps.

Imitation crab meat my one true love

I'm hating morning runs less, I still very much don't like them.

I really should cut myself off from Youtube, the temptation with that site to just watch video after video, and waste hours of free time without even feeling relaxed from it is too strong.

I always wanted to write something, make a film, or program a game. And I'm struggling with the idea of how much that's a legitimate want and how much that's a want to have creative validation without having to leave my screen addiction.

You'll never fully eliminate vice from your life, so pick the poisons you can handle responsibly.

One of my least favorite writing tropes is "at least he was a noble warrior" I don't think we need to give villains that are Nazis, killed hundreds of innocents, raped, or did other unredeemable things redemption just because the hero had a good fight against them.

I think fast food is the AI art of the food world. It's soulless, easy to produce, uncreative, vastly inferior to the real thing mush that robs you of learning a skill just for the sake of convenience.

You ever eat a still frozen french fry? I kind of like the texture

And we knew this. This wasn't speculation. We studied it, we had the talking points. We trained volunteers to explain this to people. It's not a surprise. Rich people don't flee places with good quality of life when we increase the quality of life. They might try to cheat us, but they don't leave.

No matter what evidence there is in the Epstein Files there is already more evidence for Trump being a pedo than any of the transgender folks they've gone after.

I like the idea of a touch pad on controllers to replace a mouse but controllers are already pretty crowded to place something that big in a comfortable way on the controller.

I hate controllers and keyboards that use glue to keep the two halves together. Let me clean my shit.

I very much have a winter coat if it goes above 50 degrees after October I feel like I'm in a sauna.

I'm like a Little Ceasars pizza cheap, hot n' ready, and gonna plug up your ass.

Sucks that I neglected my work outs do to depression, I can't even do the 3 sets at the weight I was doing 3 weeks ago but at least I got back to working out today.

Nothing beats finally dropping that deuce you've been holding on to for several hours because you wanted to do it on the comfort of your own toilet.

Every NNN I see people try to share some dumb BS about the health benefits of regularly masterbating. And I want them to shut up! There is no major physical side effect to over or under wanking your meat. So stop with the BS science, and just jerk your pork roll as much or as little as you want.

I understand how he one, he really speaks to every 70 plus year old on Facebook that believes every meme they see.

I believe showers should be a citrus scented masochistic experience. I need to be power washed with near boiling water if I don't come out red with a few layers of skin less the shower has failed at its job.

Like I keep saying, it didn’t work in the ‘30s when they thought Hitler would calm down if they just let him have part of Czechoslovakia, why in any god’s name would it work now? Appeasement does nothing but literally give the fascists what they want.

It's weird looking back on my childhood and comparing it to now with the internet. When I was a kid it was pretty normal to have something be your favorite book but only own or have read 5 books of a 20 book series, or a favorite movie but never even know there's a comic book.