Way too many rich ugly men

I’m confident most lesbian stereotypes are true

Just know there is some dude out there wearing shorts and a hoodie outside saying he’s hot

The band is finally having a big year and everyone’s upset

Seems about right

Mama’s ready for the weekend

Nothing stops me in my tracks faster than seeing a couple of old lesbians

schools closed unexpectedly for two days, what is everybody supposed to do? take off work, lose two days’ wages because the occupying militia can’t be trusted not to murder their children?

This is my new smile I’ve been workshopping for 2026. It shows positivity, while also being realistic. It’s a socially acceptable sadness.

Can you imagine even coming close to looking like this we’d all just eat each other

This song is desicated to all dogs youtu.be/npPNMoin2xk?...

Wish I could tell my Norwegian ancestors just to stay they have no freakin CLUE what they got me into

How many times do I need to brush my teeth before going to the dentist like 10

You can tell in this vid that she’s probably closely related to birds. Very birdlike movements. Almost dinosaur like. I just watched the Jurassic Park movie I would know.

Lesbianing (verb)

Love that feeling of digging out something in my ear - wow! Big find today.

Any of you pgh folks out there say yeee yeee

As an upcoming landlord should I require my tenets to attend all of my shows?

Terrifying

My mom said me as a banana bugs her

Okay not gonna lie feeling pretty stoked about this

I wonder if when Nicki Minaj goes to France she goes by Nicki Ménage à Trois

Couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t for the life of me remember the name of the woman Jack Donaghy sets Liz Lemon up with…THOMAS!! GRETCHEN THOMAS!!

Dis bitch wanted to watch snow dogs…now I know why!!

My art or whatever youtu.be/JQyP-mtmYjg?...

Should I put this on my LinkedIn

Not feeling well today but I just remembered I’ve only had two cups of coffee and like a bunch of chocolate chips but that can’t be it

Whenever I see flies going wild on dog crap I just assume those are the pervy flies

I wonder if Caitlyn Clark has ever heard Chicago by Sufjan Stevens

Been in England a whole day and haven’t seen The Beatles yet

Everyone on LinkedIn is like, let me show you just how much I’ve never worked in the service industry

The birds have been going totally HAM on the bird feeder! It’s like come on girls this economy is in shambles

I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older, but wow I have a lot of Larry David esque takes these days I mean come on

Okay wow

Out: people saying “extra protein” when you accidentally swallow a bug I wanna hear something like “why is your mouth hanging open, lunatic” give me something to at least criticize myself with

I’m short for a tall person my partner is tall for a short person that’s about all that’s going on with me personally

Humans would be so much better as a species if we had a real threat of a predator everyday

I love seeing the junk people want on their wedding registry

Remember when Kamala could have been president

Me too gurl

Having a hard time. Didn’t pre-slice my bread before putting it in then freezer. My mom was wrong, I’m not special I just have frozen bread I wanna eat now :(((

My favorite part of watching @unrivaledwbb.bsky.social are all the lesbians sitting front and center

Yeah it’s my birthday and I know like 10 other people with a bday today what gives how did this happen and next question and most importantly why

My sister was like "you should be on Survivor it'd be great promotion for your band"

Spotted lanternflies are definitely conservative

Who knows when we’re gonna release our album but this was just too good not to share

You spend like 15 years playing guitar just to go back to power chords and playing one string

Normalize pronouncing DOGE as DOUCHE.