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The library once again points to the "Duh" section of the collection, formerly known as the history section.

Head of Paramount today

The new Grand American experiment: What if we put the worst people in charge of everything? See: Romans

Can You Get Banned from NextDoor? In this twelve part series, I will use every absurd and satirical bone in my body to mock the "frightened" rich people of my neighborhood. Let's see how they react.

The degree: masters in library and information science, able to support and sort any information collection on the planet. The job: getting yelled at by people who forget their passwords, parents who don't want to watch their children, and printer maintenance.

The library will no longer allow service alligators.

The library free play table is for unity and kindness. No adult Warhammer allowed.

The library will never judge you except those of you who cut your pizza with scissors. Shit, just no.

Can't wait for the AI-made movie about a John Henry type office worker trying to send emails faster than Copilot.

The library will be hosting a screening of "Humphrey Bogart's Colonoscopy," a new film by local boy F. O. Fuller this Saturday, Feb. 21 at 5pm.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOU CAN GET EVERY DISCWORLD TOME ON EBOOK FOR LESS THAN THE COST OF A SUBWAY FOOTLONG COMBO. USUALLY GETTING EVERY SINGLE BOOK LEGALLY IS LIKE 400+ NOT. A. DRILL. www.humblebundle.com/books/terry-...

The pot calling the kettle a pot.

The large crates that just arrived at the back of the library are for library science purposes. Ignore the man yelling "Shoot her!" and all the screams.

The library has a set of announcements it would like to make:

Luke in the Library

Are you a library printer? Cause I'm about to scream and pound your buttons. #libraryvalentines

The library is gonna start a true American Olympics. We're gonna pull a list of Americans at random and call them until we have enough to agree to participate in all the games.

Crime 101 made me want to watch a Michael Mann film, and I had fun with it. Wuthering Heights is gorgeous and a high school level reading of the text with obsession masquerading as love. Almost a satire of itself. It's fun to watch, but it ain't good.

The library hopes that all creeks flow into one. You done good, Dawson. You didn't have your daddy's life. You truly lived on the Murder Train. GNU James Van Der Beek.

If the library sees a snarky AI bot talking shit about administration and entitled patrons, we're suing some shit. Can't take our place, robits! That's our lane.

The library saw Shelter and really wants a "who is this guy" scenario to happen in real life. Across the street.

The library made a fire and relaxed somewhat.

We apologize if this recontextualizes some of your world views. Talk to your parents. If there was a paper fairy, you bet Coca-Cola would try and co-opt and market that sumbitch. Or some church, to be honest.

The library wants to remind you that there is no "Paper Fairy" that comes and refills the printers each night. Although if you left out bourbon and cookies, they would be gone in the morning.

The library is getting ready for potato cannon season.

The library hopes you leave in pieces, asshole.

This Greenland shit is so stupid. Somebody in the rubble is going to find this all started because a White House intern was really into Plague Inc.

This really hurts. GNU Catherine O'Hara I smiled every time I saw her walk onto the screen in a project I didn't realize she was in because she would make it better.

Every reader has that one series they treat like an old college roommate they probably should not like but still is nice to hear from. "Hey man, shit, things are going like that huh? Well, see you in 2-5 years." Anyway, I liked the new Dresden Files.

The library Thirsty Thursday has been cancelled due to Taco Tuesday spilling over into Waffle Wednesday. We apologize for the inconvenience.

It's a strange feeling when you realize you're old enough to be someone's grandfather. Have some cake for me today, kids, my blood pressure can't deal with it.

So Bovino's been demoted... When does he get charged with murder he sanctioned? When can he never hold office? When can we bury this man and his masked cronies under so much scrutiny that he wishes rocks were easy to crawl under? When will thousands see justice?

The library really enjoyed send help.

This makes me think of the ending to "A Time to Kill" movie and book where the main white lawyer in his closing statement details the horrific crime against a black girl and the mic drop moment is "now imagine she was white" and the jury nods.

Murder.

The library train keeps on rolling with this 1983 classic from Eddie and the Cruisers, "On the Dark Side." Good morning library land, don't make me feel so mean.

At the library we bury the dead

Genuine, non-counterfeit new episode!!! 💵 This week, Brian & @crobertcargill.bsky.social wonder why (in L.A.) TO LIVE IN DIE IN L.A. might be Friedkin’s darkest movie. …and they encourage EVERYBODY to Wang Chung tonight. Don’t burn us, RskT now! www.spreaker.com/episode/to-l...

The library has bourbon and watching To Live and Die in LA (1985). Might have a carbonara later. It's has been A WEEK. Thanks to @junkfoodcinema.bsky.social and @crobertcargill.bsky.social for tonight's movie choice. Might fuck around and watch I Come in Peace (1990) after. Yes, again.

"The only person not being investigated for the shooting of Renee Good is the federal agent who shot her." - Walz

Dropkick Murphys are releasing a new song called "Citizen I.C.E." The lyrics go: "Too scared to join the military/ Too dumb to be a cop." consequence.net/2026/01/drop...

There's no such thing as cynicism towards big businesses and corporations. They are made to take and should be treated accordingly and given no benefit of a doubt as to their motivations.

Don't just use the library because it helps you (even though it does). Use the library because doing that keeps the library open for other people.

The library will be renaming the Dewey Decimal System to the Racist... Decimal... um... System. Not all these are gold, folks.

It's an "ending emails with 'bless your heart'" kinda day.

The library will not comment on celebrity deaths due to the divisive nature that can arisehahahaha fuck that dude. I hope he had someone to hold his hand as he slipped into hell.

You sunk my Battleship's dreams, Brenda.

Star Wars is fantasy and not science fiction because people regularly cross the whole damn galaxy in tiny spaceships without stopping to use the bathroom.

My first library was really small. The director was on the shift list to work the desks. We covered for her a lot because of meetings or whatever, but I also felt she understood what it was like to do the work. Anyway, most company CEOs should be thrown in a river.