The library wrote a thing with our hand.

The library asks that if you believe that the Rapture is imminent to please return your library materials before you are taken. Story time on Tuesday and Thursday mornings 9am, everyday at 5pm.

When the monsters are on your side, the cave has gotten dark indeed.

The library read a book. Without pictures! Okay... Some pictures. Small ones.

The library found a few books to level out the study room table this week. Don't worry, they were just biblical texts on morality. Nobody looks for those.

Y'all notice Drump only goes after old forms of media like newspapers and late night tv? Sure, the right made Twitter worse but that's like putting grease on an oil fire. Watch what you telegram or fax from now on. The government version of the HOA Karen is watching, the small handed pedophile.

Brilliant writing.

"Grandpa, how did the revolution begin?" "Well, Peanut, it's pretty stupid..."

Disney has bought all the things I grew up loving and has become the evil step-parent they used to feature. Shout out to good step parents out there who didn't burn records during the satanic panic. The library has books and shit.

The library will be placing all books written by those we disagree with on the top and bottom shelves. We won't take them away, but we won't make it easy.

The library would have loved the new Ben & Jerry's flavor to be called "Trumped Up Bullshit and Anti-Science Chunk" but guess we'll stop buying that brand.

The library got fancy as f**k to say hello and goodbye to Downton.

The library will miss you, Sundance.

The library been thinkin. Sorry bout that.

The library listening group "Sticks and Stones" will now require masks to welcome the members of the community that hate masks unless they are worn by government goons. Snacks will be served.

This week has been a long year. But you know what to do. 😍

The library social anxiety program has been cancelled because too many people showed up and nobody wanted to go in. Fuckin spooky quiet, too.

"If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy." - Terry Pratchett

While most library staff meetings could have been an email, certain emails demand meetings, "Disco" Jeff.

The library is still smiling when thinking about Freaky Tales and we saw it months ago.

The library wants no one to die. We are not wishing for anyone to die. But we are not above a chuckle at irony caused by ignorance, arrogance, or irrational stupidity. Please, universe. With so many poor and weak, let one powerful asshole taste bitter medicine.

Not gonna "recommend" this one, but if you like pitch black dark humor... Jesus hell. Just got to the "sorry, here's another one" part and struggled not to say "holy fuck" and have to explain to my office mates why.

The library will now be taking high end art in place of fines.

That moment when the library day could be made or broken by a piece of red velvet cake.

The library has a new dictionary. We're looking up all kinds of shit.

The library caught up on Great British Baking Show (Off) and Peacemaker. Friday is becoming #PeaceBaker day.

The library corrected the supply list from "reindeer" to "rain gear" before outdoor storytime got wild.

When you reference a podcast in conversation as if it was information from a friend so you decide to talk to more real people and that sucks so you go back to podcasts Thursday feeling.

The library's motto is "let's fuckin go (home)." This is particularly true at closing time.

The library saw Weapons, and it made us think about the nature of pre-teen running.

The library is closed. We have left the wifi on. We have locked the doors. This is not a challenge. Leave us to our bourbon.

The library has money in the banana stand. It's mostly bananas.

Reference question of the day: If that Peter motherfucker was just now picking peppers, how come those motherfuckers were already pickled? That's not how fuckin pickling works.

You know what? We'd actually like a Pixar "Flight of the Navigator" or "Return to Oz"

The library has books on all kinds of legal things like wills, pre-nups, divorces, likeness rights, and when you realize "I'm the problem. It's me."

The library knows some people who believed their own bullshit after their 20s.

The library is putting in our DVD order. How long before Disney runs out of material and starts animating their live action movies? Or will they just start releasing both versions of every movie?

The library will address the elephant in the room: Jumbo, no! Don't sit on the copier! No, Jumbo, no! Related: please use the copy machine on the second floor.

The library thanks Cracker Barrel for retiring an old white man. Revolutionary in this country. Sets a good example.

The library... Hold on.. Museum: building in which objects of historical, scientific, artistic, or cultural interest are stored and exhibited. Doesn't say shit about making you "feel good" about what's stored or exhibited.

The library doesn't see shit.

The library remembers the name of early influential French filmmakers because of a talking candelabra.

The library has a new display. Which one looks new to you? Didn't notice? It's been there for a week. We don't think you're invested in this relationship.

The library gardening program has a good harvest! Tons of cabbage and tomatoes and weed and green peppers!

The library Minecraft 2025 Tournament has been cancelled due to last year's tournament still ongoing.

Based on topic of today's @junkfoodcinema.bsky.social, the library will always be on the look out for a Hemingway-esque account of gator wrestling. Possibly titled "The Sun Also Sets, Motherf**ker" or "A Farewell to Legs."

The library reference desk is now a taco stand. The smart know the tacos are free. The wise know the tacos are not free.

“It’s a complete knockout. There’s not a single issue that the court did not side with the plaintiffs on.” www.orlandosentinel.com/2025/08/13/j...

The library welcomes WorldCon to Seattle! Not us personally, but maybe we wander over for a bit... Have some drinks.

The library asks the immoral question, "Who wants to watch this shit forever?"