I've spent a lot of holidays on my own. And I've definitely been the guy who had to work while all my fellow employees have been off with their families. So if you're working or alone this holiday, much love to you. May the day treat you well, pass quickly, and be devoid of assholes. Love you guys.

The library will be closed the next few days not because of a sewer leak or anything. We just need a break.

The library special collections think they're sooooooooo special.

Writing and autocorrect is being a pushy motherfucker. Gonna turn this shit off as soon as I learn to spell "receive," "restaurant," and "similar" on my own.

Everyone who works in a library is not a librarian. The trials are long and hard, the studies deep and exhausting, and let's not get into the "bookworm pit."

I’m howling.

I like how we let corporations announce the holidays now. Thanksgiving/Black Friday Deals on Amazon Nov 20-28! Christmas comes early, Target sales Nov 29-Dec 15 Get your Valentine at Safeway, Dec 16-31 Summer Slam event at Toyotathon starting Jan 1!!!!

The library "check out a tool" is pretty much left at one auger and a few nails. Donations accepted. Hammers welcome.

The library Sunday playlist will maintain your mellow on this foggy grey morning. Get your favorite book and a seat on the porch as we do a three hour rotation of Slayer's Season of the Abyss and Anthrax's Along the Living albums. News at the top of the hour on library free radio.

Winners don't try to be clever. They just like to pun.

Once again, the bookmobile runs on gas, grass, or ass. If this bookmobile is a rockin, don't come a knockin. Honk if you're book horny.

The library bathroom is an inclusive space to wash hands, urinate, and take a shit if you are desperate. With 20+ years of experience, we can confidently say the only people you should worry about in the bathroom are people who are worried about who is in the bathroom.

Feeling angry yet productive today, so fuck Thanksgiving, too. We'll still be closed on the 27th.

The library doesn't want the Republican sex offenders in jail. We want ALL those evil rat bastards in jail. Take that fuckin island they all loved, strand them all on it with a box of dildos, some dijon mustard, and a fork. See how long it takes to really eat the rich, non-politically.

The library stance on anyone who follows a staff member to the parking lot is to kill the motherfucker. Staff are not paid for your entitlement after hours.

The library might be closed today. Idk, still in bed.

Call me when there's a Ripley's Believe It Or Not in the White House. Maybe a Planet Hollywood. Some true gaudy nonsense trash from last century. "Presidential Walk of Fame" dumb shit. Might as well put up "Lincoln slept here" or "George Washington didn't"signs.

Washington State Library and the Talking Book and Braille Library are closing to the public, 12 jobs getting axed 📚https://washingtonstatestandard.com/briefs/washington-state-library-closing-to-the-public-12-jobs-getting-axed/

I'm not here to debate which BBQ is the best, but the Texas Space Program took a big fuckin hit this week. Never should have gone private industry.

The library added a sticker to our notebook. Go vote!

Good riddance. You don't get points for criticizing the house when you were the architect, especially at the end. Remember when Dick Cheney shot that dude?

The fact that the majority of people cannot separate "cell phone" from "work phone" should be concerning. Not just on applications and communications, but for society in general.

The library gonna fight for your right to party.

The library gonna get that fuckin great pumpkin tonight. We'll watch in shifts. Don't come near reference after midnight if you don't like shotgun pellets.

The library will be giving out candy from the unmarked van in the alley between the library and the post office NOT the alley between the library and the abandoned doll factory.

The library's legally distinct from Hot Ones trivia hot sauce program only ended in two spontaneous combustions this week.

Sexy Power Outage Seattle Stay safe out there, local folks

"You may choose one person to tell you The Aristocrats joke"

Remember, what does not kill you may make you stronger mentally but can still cripple your ass and most good things cannot be eaten through a straw.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY FREE SHIT REQUIRES MONEY?!? IN THIS ECONOMY?!

We've had babysitters like this in story time.

At least in 1812 the British had a reason to burn the fucking thing down.

The library books on tacos are not tacos but have the meat anyway.

The library tomato contest is running late. Something something ketchup. Fuck you, read books.

ICE agents kidnapped a US citizen in Chicago because she didn’t “look” American to them. She even had her US passport on her. 🤬

Quote this with the first four 10/10 horror movies you can think of. - The Thing (1981) - Sinister - Sinners - Near Dark

"Organic literature" sounds like marketing shit so that books can be sold at higher prices. There's "Literature" and then there's "AI Slop." Full stop. AI Slop should be free.

The library reference department legal section can be used as a weapon.

The library reference department is complete. Hell yeah @therealjoebob123.bsky.social

The library "Turns Out Becoming Rich and/or Famous Can Make You a Dumbass" display is evergreen, easy to find items for, and has both historic and current implications.

The library hopes everyone who drank from the library water fountain on Friday soon feels their face again.

Harrison Ford should have played more villains. There's something dark in him anyway, but the casualness he exudes with explosive violence really stands out.

It’s me. Your favorite #bannedbooksweek curmudgeon. Just popping in to rain all over your caution tape. #tlsky #tlskychat #librarians #skybrarians #edusky

In retrospect, "Chubby Checker" is a truly bonkers name or AKA, and no generation has the title for strangest musical artist names.

James Patterson books take up half the library and Stephen King is still more banned.

The library has a "no assholes" policy. #IYKYK

Our banned books tree is up. Is yours?

Do not try to steal the library stapler lest you feel the circ desk's wrath.

The library has many rockstar librarians if you mean genuinely creative monsters that have substance abuse issues and violent tendencies.

"I think big pistachio has invaded bake off" is this week's topic for book club.