Less than 15 minutes.

And for my next trick, we will see how long it takes me to do something I’ve been putting off for months.

Car washing for two.

one more from the open-tabs TBR pile! a beaut' from @mmkaufman.bsky.social! "I make a firm decision to tell Joe the next time he comes over. Sammy won’t take it well. She doesn’t take anything well; or rather, she takes things too well, too close to heart."

Every year for the past 7 years I have made a playlist for a ghost. Here is the 2025 incarnation of Mm’s Feels. The big M is my Aunt Marian and the little m is me, her namesake. Love you, mean it, my sestra. open.spotify.com/playlist/0IH...

"She’s walking the railing of the balcony like an Olympic gymnast on a balance beam, and the next second she’s a stuffed animal with those beads for eyes and plastic whiskers" Stunning story. @mmkaufman.bsky.social @xraylitmag.bsky.social xraylitmag.com/not-everythi...

we have a story by MM Kaufman @mmkaufman.bsky.social ! it's about an aging man whose reality starts glitching, switching between ordinary life & a staged reality of actors, props, & cardboard a beautiful story with a beautiful ending - u should read this pronto xraylitmag.com/not-everythi...

so much love and care in these stories by @mackenziemcgee.bsky.social @mmkaufman.bsky.social and Sonia Alejandra Rodriguez pleased and proud we get to publish work like theirs🔥

Guess who is not getting published in The New Yorker? Me. But guess who got a tiered rejection from The New Yorker? Also me! #muchtoadmire 💅

I fucking love my writing friends.

I tripped and fell and wrote another tiny little poem. Where we sending those these days?

really can't recommend strongly enough that y'all treat yourselves today to a wonderful M.M. Kaufman treat of a poem "There are many ways To divide Southerners. I do it by those who hate Loud bugs and frogs..." https://www.havehashad.com/eikr1

New little paw-eem up at @havehashad.com www.havehashad.com/hadposts/sou...

It’s here. My favorite thing I’ve ever written. Let’s go to the carwash!

You’ll never guess what my piece is about…

I made two strangers happy-cry (like fr) in my office today. So my work is done here. I think I can go home.

Got good news today for enthusiasts of both carwashes and my writing. Stay tuned!

oh hi, we're opening for submissions tomorrow, Friday 9/5! 200 cap & we'll stay open until filled. mark ur calendars 👇

I think I’m in the minority of diehard Wuthering Heights fans who are actually excited about Emerald Fennell’s new film. But maybe that’s because my only published poem is a cliff notes version of who and why everyone hooks up in the novel? 🤷‍♀️ 🥵 #hottake jmwwblog.wordpress.com/the-modern-r...

Shout out to the birds that live around my neighborhood. Y’all sound real good today.

Um. Everybody... stop what you're doing and check out @mmkaufman.bsky.social's new banger "PLATEAUED"... up today at @poolpartymag.com 🔥🔥🔥

wwwwwwwwwwell my buckle makes impressions on the inside of her thigh

Pulling up to yoga class blasting Rage Against the Machine because that’s where I’m at right now.

Are people aware of what flight anxiety is really like? What it’s about, the triggers, the origins, and how it presents? Do I need to put off my novel projects again to write a CNF piece about this plague?

Battling flight anxiety with a pre airport carwash.

There are just not enough people telling me on a daily basis that they wanna rock my Gypsy soul just like way back in the days of old.

All it took was 2025 (and a whole lot of bullshit) to make me realize I’m a Rage Against the Machine girlie.

Road trip hair.

My new practice of subbing 1 piece to 1 magazine that I think it’s really, really right for is paying off. Got a 102 minute acceptance from @poolpartymag.com! Been wanting to sub there for ages, but waited until I knew I had something up their alley. Let’s go swimming!

This boujee coffee cost me one small organ and I shall take a sip every 15 minutes to make it worth it. And no I’m not writing an existential think piece/memoirella on all the major Batman films, why would you even ask?

I am so incredibly proud of Travis Alexander for writing this amazing story and creating this serialized podcast SIRENS. And I’m even more honored to be a part of it. Check out ya girl Tabby popping in at episode 3! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...

Anyone in the market for some emotions? I think I’m gonna start selling mine off to pay my student loans.

Anyone else find themselves thinking about Tennessee Williams’ The Glass Menagerie and muttering to themselves, Man, fuck that dude. Fuck all the dudes in that play. Just me?

Driving to work on a cloudy Friday morning wearing all black and singing along word-for-word to Joni Mitchell—watch out (emotional) world!

If fiction goes short story < novella < novel, can I call my cnf work-in-progress that is longer than the average essay but not a book a memoirella? Because I'm not actually asking and totally calling it that.

I really miss my Dad.

When you’re so sad your everyday barista asks what’s wrong with your voice. 🙃

Was up till 3am at the ER with my baby nephew (he’s gonna be fine! Whew!), so this morning I walked into a local coffee shop and said I need enough caffeine to get me right with a God I don’t believe in. The baristas doubled over in laughter and said we got you.

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a carwash.

Driver of a U-Haul thought I was checking him when I tried to read the fact on the side of his truck.

Alabama Shaaaaaaaaakes in Bhama!

Embarrassing myself in front of you is my love language.

ICYMI: "Divine Creatures and Monsters Alike," flash fiction by @mmkaufman.bsky.social:

Taking the homies* for a carwash ride. *my eleventy-billion feelings

“Sometimes the past pulls at me like seaweed gripping around my ankle, dragging me into a rift in the ocean floor. And if I just look down, look at the face of the sea creature holding me, then some great idea will be illuminated.” New work @okaydonkey.bsky.social okaydonkeymag.com/2025/07/11/d...

EVERYONE FREAK OUT! My latest story is out @okaydonkey.bsky.social And it’s good! And you should read it!

Ended a voice memo to a friend today with “k, bye, party and bullshit!” and I think I found my new sign off for everything?

Not saying there is a right or wrong way to do it, but as I've gotten older and gotten to know my writing and literary magazines better, I really enjoy subbing one piece to one mag I think it's right for rather than buckshot submitting.

My carwash essay might finally be done? I don't even know how to go about subbing this. Wish I could just put it up for auction. Pay me in compliments. Best flattery wins pub rights.

Is it the car wash glow, or did I finish the last draft of my novel?