I'm gonna build a machine that turns apples into oranges

Do you believe in fate? Cause I just might start

drummer with a pacemaker

yesterday someone asked me if I was #TeamJacob or #TeamPeter. I wanted to say that's not his name but tbh i couldn't remember his real name either

I received my copy Kopaki's Adventure by @catbeats.life ! Can't wait to listen to all of the other albums as well 🐱🎵

Game of Thrones but the iron throne is a rocking chair

Just watched Wicked. Why did nobody tell me that it was about She-Hulk?

i love gaming

Godzilla vs Gorilla... who would win...

➖🟩🟩🟩 ➖🟩🟩⬛ ➖🟩🟩🟩 ➖➖🟦➖⬜⬜ ➖➖🟦🟩⬜⬛ ➖➖🟦➖⬜⬜🟧 ⬜⬜⬜🟦⬜⬜🟥 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ➖➖🟨 ➖➖🟨🟨

elhuervo.substack.com/p/boku-no-ha... I'm blogging now instead of feeding the beast over at SnotGram.

Ch18 page 247 posted! www.casualvillain.com/Unsounded/co...

Superman but he is balding

I'll be honest, buying toothbrushes is a scam. Trans Camelot.

I'll be honest, buying toothbrushes is a scam. I just use cock instead

I'll be honest, buying toothbrushes is a scam. This post was brought to you by the 10th dentist

I'll be honest, buying toothbrushes is a scam. I just don't brush my teeth

I'll be honest, buying toothbrushes is a scam. I just put mine in the dishwasher and call it a day, I save so much money.

Breaking Good: The story of a drug lord who turns his life around and becomes a chemistry teacher

Stay toasty.

All my plants died

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall - A biography" about Igor Gorbachev, owner of a demolition company

Gonna find somebody with the same name as a famous person and write a biography about them

Just found out that Hitlers party was called Nationalsocialistic german workers party. Nationalsocialistic... Nati... Nazi... How did they not see the signs??

I ate 13 crickets and now whenever I try to speak it's just awkward silence???

Recently historians found the first occurence of a photobomb. In 1340 prince Wilhelm II sneaked into frame of this relief of Count Rudolph of saxony, eternalising him in this capture

White people dont say “I have a tic” anymore. they say “I’m stimming”

I'm obsessed with Bugs Lightyear

Girl who has only seen one musical: "I'm getting a lot of Les Miserables vibes..."

FYI, if you plan to put ads in your product: ad is short for Adolf Hitler. Do you really want that?

James Bond villain throws you in a pit with 4 Millionaires waiting for your pitch

shark tank but it's actual sharks

I had a good post loaded and typed out. lI read it and it wasn't even funny? wth

Hatsune miku Geburtstag >w<

they should overturn the 2020 election now and be like sorry Mr Trump we have to kick you out out of office, this would be your third term

yessss i beat the elden ring dlc

gonna start a true crime podcast but every case is just tax evasion

I know I have to clean my glasses if I put them on and see worse than before

autocannibals be like

need a goth gf (reference pic attached)

Distopian world where you have to buy each human right separately

mix wine with coke

are there watches to buy that go the other way around

Do you think Jesus was into threesomes? or why does he want us to leave room for him

they should introduce the word transgenda for allies who aren't comfortable using the hard r variant

ok so it's a zombie movie, and they find the source of the virus. The military commander says "sealthe door", and then they put seals on the door. like the animals.

should i get into 40k?

Imagine being Ranni, marrying a guy so he changes the world to your imagination, and then watch him do the frenzied flame ending.

there should be a word lile starving but for drinking