I’m doing the good thing and avoiding all the big money grub shops for Black Friday weekend. Instead, I’ll be buying a deep throat trainer to force upon my sub from @mrsleather.bsky.social Happy Thansgiving!

My cat has been meowing on sleep in day for 3 hours all to get me to pet him on his favorite toy. He left after 5 minutes. If I had his initiative I’d be unstoppable.

The adorable guy I just finished a date with responded back to setting up our next date with the double pink hearts. That’s effort. 🥰🥰🥰💕🥰🥰🥰

To avoid awkward family arguments this year, remember: If I cum with my cock in your ass, it’s stuffing. If I cum with my cock hovering over your face, it’s dressing.

I have a date tomorrow. Like a legit date. With someone I did not meet on an app. I’m already super nervous.

Am I a great cook? Yes. Do I constantly doubt my doctors lack of an ADHD diagnosis? Also yes

My cat is far more popular than me, even when I’m naked. I’m failing social media

This is poly apparently. See also: D&D

One endorphins please!

I have to wonder what important information I’m preventing from entering my brain by remembering in entirety my solo number as Johnny Appleseed from my 3rd grade play? 🧐

Guy: What are you into? Me: *Lists interests* Guy: Not interested, I’m pretty Vanilla Me: You asked me what I like, and it’s not like I tie up and piss on every sexual partner I have jfc

1. Grindr presenting more match 3 games than hookups 2. Browsing Sniffies with a tummy ache 3. Scheduling a long awaited meet up 3 months out

Controversial, I gotta get rid of turkey

Oh, I also forgot to mention we covered the women in pie and ate it off them, and I told a m/f couple I had a crush on them. What is my life?

Whelp… I went to a friendsgiving today and ended up caressing two women on a massage table alongside 3 other men, then got iced down and massaged with two butts in my hands, then told a m/f couple I had a crush on them. My therapist is in for a story on Tuesday.

Ok yall if you’re a Paper Mario stan like I am and you’re not playing Bug Fables rn, WTF is wrong with you??? (PS I was holding my phone between my feet for that shot)

Literally his favorite thing. Upside down with chest rubs. Also willing to suspend humans upside down and rub their chest

If you see this, QTP with a gif of your favorite wild animal. 🦊

Sports bro at the register compliments my rainbow plaid ball cap

Okay @cantaffordbrent.bsky.social @dsbigham.bsky.social here we go. I do have a front runner, what your thoughts? I’m going for most flattering

I feel bro-ey today. Can I go out in public like this?

The gays didn’t steal gods rainbow. We left indigo behind because it’s a dumb non-fabulous color.

Interview is done. I feel good about it but prolly won’t get confirmation till December 😭

May your Friday be brief and gay. Like me.

Ok seriously starting to panic over my interview tomorrow. I need to finish preparing but all I wanna do is hide in a blanket and cry

Need feedback: Allergic to eggs. Ordered a teriyaki and subbed out the egg roll. Received food covered in spicy mayo. The photo did not have mayo on it. I did not express my egg allergy cuz it’s a hassle and in many cases I can safely order around egg. Should I be mad at me or the restaurant?

STOP. This is a selfie checkpoint you must repost with a cute selfie to proceed OMG I’m so hungry I’m stopping for chicken teriyaki right now

I think at this point I’ve been more intimate with my massage therapist than I have been with most of my sex partners. For about 20 minutes I was close enough to smell his cock. It was good.

Honestly, I just need a sub side so I can do terrible Dom side things to them then cuddle for aftercare. I only have enough energy to Dom or to fuck. Not both. Inquire within

Men of a certain age thread. 40+ besties drop a (non nude) selfie. Free at 43!

Seriously I think my psych keeps giving me flirty eyes and honestly omg would

The worst part about dressing up in a full suit is I have to take off 3 articles of clothing just to drop my trousers to poop.

My doctor says I’m not a card carrying member of the ‘tism but I just booked a trip that will have me on a train for 8 days.

PSA on work meetings

Date me and get all this!

HR: I’m going to ask a behavioral question, then I will ask you follow-ups on it Me: *gives behavioral answer* HR: I don’t have any follow-ups. That was a really great answer. Formal interview on Friday.

I’ve got a phone interview set in a half hour. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one applying but I am anxious af! My heart is racing!

So my doctors don’t believe I have any position with the ‘tism (adjacent yes, but off the spectrum). However, I do have strong opinions on what makes a spoon acceptable to use.

Okay, super nice husband of the coffee lady was running the truck today and he was wearing a dog tag with a gold Jesus cross on top of a black and white us flag. I dunno if I wanna go there anymore.

Not me downloading the Octopath Zero demo on a second system so I can speed run the prologue and focus on the town building feature

COOKING HACK! (I’m not the hack, the tip is the hack)

OMG LOOK AT MY BALLS!

Just saw a meme of Obama obliterating glizzys and now all I want is two glizzys from Costco delivered to me

The worst part about being single is I cannot maintain fresh soft bread in my home 😭🍞🥖

Maple bacon congee? Maple bacon congee.

Home late and still have to log back into work so dinner is a quick corn mango curried dinosaur congee

US Treasury stopped minting pennies for good yesterday. We don’t really need to talk about it but why didn’t we hear about this??? apnews.com/article/us-m...

EVERYONE ON THIS APP DROP A SELFIE NOW... AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW!!!

Goon a movie The Hunt for Red Goontober Goon Gully Goonfellas