Actors usually say that they see themselves in their characters, meanwhile Hudson Williams sounds like he would bully Shane. I should rewatch a few episodes because I watched them with friends and we were talking and bullshitting the entire time.

Girl, I- 💀😭

I love a themed party, but I hate going elsewhere and still being dressed in something random without context

I'm trying to watch I Love LA, and I'm hoping it will grow on me

Talk to me in French, talk to me in Russian, talk to me in stupid Canadian wolf bird

I'm folding my husband's laundry and snickering over it being just tall stacks of sweats

It's crazy to think back on when we had to show a vaccination card to the bouncer to get into the club lmao

When I exchange Insta with a guy who lives in my city, I immediately judge based on the number of mutuals we have. Why don't you know any gay people? I'm not about to hang out with you in fucking Wrigleyville or somewhere.

I convinced my husband to make a whole ass turkey today because they were on sale. I'm really so spoiled 🤭

Google is so useless now. My husband wanted a Ninja Creami, so I was trying to Google the differences between the models and it took so long to find a simple comparison article. It was all ads or 15 minute long videos 🤦🏽‍♂️

A white man was flirting with me at the bar on Friday, and he kept speaking to me in Spanish (no, I'm not) *sigh* I know what you are

Everyday is Blursday for the next week

Americans are clamoring to pay extra for an engine that is heavier, slower, and less fuel efficient than the one that comes standard

Rose: are there any gay hockey players?

6 episodes for a whole season is barely a YouTube miniseries. How did we get here?

I have a platonic bar acquaintance who's really hot, and he paused our conversation to say "it's dark in here, but somehow your eyes seem more radiant than I've ever seen them" 🫠

Part of my Christmas card from my mother-in-law

I'm already gone off that coquito

Merry Christmas to y’all. I really appreciate that y’all asses didn’t run back to Twitter and y’all stayed over here like the real bitches that you are 🥂 🎄

My great aunt has Alzheimer's and forgot that I have a husband. She said "you're married to a man? The bible says-" Then her twin sister cut her off saying "girl shut yo ass up" and told her to worry about her offspring who made her a great grandma before the age of 50 😭😭

One of my favorite oomfies will be visiting and I just realized that I have to be out of town for a wedding

When did all these heathens decide that their Christmas tree comes down on Jan 1? What happened to the 12 days of Christmas? How are the Wise Men supposed to find baby Jesus without the guidance of the star on top of your tree? Even though I have no skin in the game of religions 🙂‍↔️

"Exactlyyy"

Our generation needs to re-normalize gift registries. I went to a housewarming without one, and everyone spent money on the most random generic gifts when we all could've gotten him stuff he actually needs

The gays are already thirsting over Kit Harington's queer role as if he didn't just give a middle finger to part of our community by signing on for Harry Potter 🙄

I don't like that people have different interpretations of emojis because it always throws me off when people use "😭" to express sadness

I like oomf, but his "touch my butt and feed me pizza" style of posting intermittently drives me crazy

Bluesky isn't as fun as Twitter. But X isn't as fun as Twitter either and it has significantly more Nazis, ragebait, and government propaganda

I timed my food order to arrive perfectly before I got home from the bar. Unfortunately, it happened to be the worst ramen I've ever had in Chicago, so I'm going to bed pissed

My dad asked what my Christmas plans are, and I told him that we're just chilling at home. He said "yea, I guess that makes sense since you're half Jehovah's Witness" as if it's a hereditary trait 😂

Only 3 or 4

Somebody needs to hit the reset button on the simulation

My mom just broke up with her boyfriend, so her friends took her to the club. My dad told his girlfriend that he was helping to fix a friend's car, but they really went to the club.

A white man flirted with me at the bar, but he sucked my dick in his car and drove me home, then he mentioned that he's a police sheriff

Checking if I got any tan lines from my trip

One of my biggest flexes is that I was always allowed into Berghain, even if the rest of my group was turned away

It's funny how all bets are off during rap beefs, because why was Cardi dragging Bia for having an Italian dad while she's besties with a girl who named herself Mulatto 😂

The barista is a YN instead of NB. This latte is going to be ass

I'm in Fort Lauderdale, and I hit up an old casual hookup who I know moved here years ago. He seemed oddly excited to hang out considering I didn't think we know each other that well, but I was flooded with memories that we whole ass dated after he Facetimed his mom and aunt to say hello to me 🤯

We need a Tubi documentary on Bsky's Catfishgate

Anal eyes Analyze Anal lies

Chicago has the infamous Jurassic Park themed Ford Escape

I love how they made a big deal about Ella struggling to please the wealthy donors, then they casually mention that her brother is a millionaire with a bunch of clients who he helped get rich, then they just never go anywhere with that

It seems like every white friend decided to have a party this weekend and I'm so culturally overstimulated

Being in line at Steamworks activates the nostalgia of waiting for the Batman rollercoaster at Six Flags

It's so funny that my entire team except one person is off until at least January 5, and they said that this one guy is still expected to be in the office 3 days this week and one next week 😂

Black mold is spreading across the walls, and Nicki is trapped in there because that man stays on house arrest

The minivan chase scene in Mr. & Mrs. Smith stresses me out because it keeps switching between a Dodge Caravan and a Chrysler Town & Country

When they extend social media checks to US citizens, I love the idea that they'll read my negative posts about the regime sandwiched between photos of my dick and ass