Repost if you have an ass worth smacking 🍑

Watching the videos & photos of my friends at EDC or Palm Springs Pride this weekend

I didn't expect to like JT's new song but it's so fun

My French coworker gave a heads up that she won't be in a meeting on Tuesday because they have a holiday. I confirmed we will be off too. Our Italian coworker said "I'll reschedule since it will just be [German guy] and myself working that day" 🤭🤭 I almost forgot about the context of the holiday

I hope she convinces more of her colleagues to follow her lead. We can't keep having these hoes die in office.

As the holidays approach, I'm grateful that I have never had any republican family members. At worst, a cousin may bring home a hotep boyfriend who has 3 babymamas while believing that homosexuality was invented to destroy Black families

🗣️ TRANSGENDER FOR EVERYONE

Someone in a meeting said "we just need rough penetration" and I had to try to keep a straight face 🫢

Autumn enthusiasts pretending this is the best season look goofy af now bc not even a full day into the end of DST and all y’all miserable sitting in darkness at 6PM cold as fuck for what, an extra hour of sleep, a scary movie and your dick in a pumpkin? Clownery

I need to sit my ass down. The number of men I kissed last night was outrageous

I picked up my friend from O'Hare during rush hour so you know it's real

We already agree that it's ridiculous to micromanage which foods people can purchase with SNAP, but I don't think some people realize how much of a logistical nightmare it would be to program the system to identify each product and reject them based on arbitrary health metrics or perceived fanciness

Happy Trans and/or Furry Awakening Day 🎃

I don't know who needs to hear this, but "Sora" is a generative AI app. Any video you ever see with that watermark is not real.

I went to a computer store and was browsing while the guy helped another customer. When he asked if he could help me with anything, a white lady chimed in "excuse me, I'm actually next in line". Oh sweetie, he's not actually trying to assist me before you, it's just racial bias making him nervous

My friend's ex is messaging me on the apps tryna fuck?? I feel vindicated in hating him from the start

Updating my aunt's contact information in my phone to be "First Cousin Once Removed Mary"

It's funny that Keyshia Cole starts off the song with "I used to think that I wasn't fine enough" because girl you lost me already

yikes. unfollowing him now. i was a huge fan of his progressive policy stances. was not aware he did 9/11.

Queer Bluesky: how old were you when you came out and how old are you now? I went to college out-of-state and decided to openly discover my true self without the pressure of family and highschool friends. I attended the LGBTQ+ Welcome Party during orientation and never looked back. 18 ➡️ 34

I love when I lock eyes with a guy multiple times throughout the night, but we never get a chance to speak to each other. It makes me feel mysterious and like we're building yearning

I really hate when the music algorithm tries to force feed me an artist I don't like. Do I need to thumbs down every individual song in their discography before the message is clear 🫩

It's funny to me that people try to hold off for as long as possible before turning the heat on; I will twist that thermostat the moment the inside temperature drops 2° below what I find comfortable.

Working in [non-Chinese] automotive is funny because we could have a vehicle launching in March 2029 but a random component won't be ready until June 2029, and it becomes a huge crisis where it's already too late for a resolution in any direction

A perfect sound bite to run in an ad

The weather for Halloween is looking seasonably chilly but not frigid like last year (though still a chance of rain)

Facebook is full of AI slop that gets tons of earnest engagement. Twitter has a bunch of tweets repeatedly recycled word-for-word and keep going viral. I'm convinced that both are driven by Dead Internet engagement

Two years out of chemotherapy and I'm finally getting more of my chest hair back. I started to assume that it would never return

My husband pickled the last of the jalapenos I was growing, and these hot mfs literally have me coughing

Elder Millennials stay catching strays that are meant for Gen X

Just said in a meeting by a director, "we tried to use AI and it...wasn't helpful. But my team worked on it manually with good results" Why do we continue to waste time and resources on generating piles of shit when we already know it's going to be a pile of shit?

While procrastinating at work I randomly decided to look up the Wikipedia page for my highschool, and I learned via that "notable alumni" section that my school crush actually made it to the NFL 🥰 My simping ass used to help him cheat on tests by swapping our scranton sheets

I hope that Klay doesn't embarrass our girl. We need to break the curse of women rappers getting into relationships with abusers, neo nazis, rapists, and serial cheaters

I wish I had a wedding ring that conveys I'm married but we can still fuck

Tyler the Creator vs Doja Cat stans are having a battle of who's the bigger 🦝

This logic only makes sense if you come to social media with the goal of arguing. ldeally, we should all be focusing on discussions that bring us joy rather than logging on with the intent of stressing ourselves out

I made a caramel appletini with the cider we got from the apple orchard, and I'm sipping while playing Pokemon all night 😌

Sora proves the AI bubble is going to burst. Watch the full video on YouTube: youtu.be/55Z4cg5Fyu4

I woke up with the random urge to listen to Pandora. I'm rediscovering the stations I created in highschool like "White People Music", which has been playing stuff like Lady Gaga, Kesha, and Katy Perry. I realize now that I was just unknowingly tapping into mainstream gay culture

Being chubby as a kid vs getting fatter as an adult is like old money vs new money for the bear community

We all knew that our political system was unsustainable, but I hate that we have to be the ones to experience it completely collapse. We're not coming back from permanent one-party rule without a revolution and fully rebuilding from the group up

This is how it sounds when twitter users complain that there are too many annoying millennial liberals on bluesky while they're over there coexisting with masses of literal nazis

Sending mundane emails in the middle of the night is loser behavior. At least schedule that shit for the morning to pretend like you have a life

The Instagram "Following" tab was definitely messy, but I feel like it was worse when Twitter would put wild shit directly onto your TL with the tag "liked by [oomf]"

I'm sorry but I will simply never watch any video of a man with a microphone walking up to strangers

PUSSPUSS97 is too many characters for a license plate btw

I feel like I'm going crazy because I sent a message at work and I keep receiving questions that I explicitly answered in my original message. Is it me who does not have a grasp on the English language, or are these bitches just stupid?

Who up pumpering they nickel 👀