Learning how bikes are made tonight! Woo!

Make a movie into a porn Chitty Chitty Gang Bang

Fun story from the old internet: When Altavista was a popular search engine there was another search engine called Astalavista which was just used for pirated software and cracked CD keys. Fun times.

My therapist told me I gave myself a life sentence by forcing myself to suffer as penance for not being perfect and it made me realize that deep down inside, I’m kind of a horrible person. Does it really matter if I want to be a nice person if inside I’m a bad person? Interesting thoughts. 🤔

If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to give somebody a dollar, you all would have so many dollars!

Artists and content creators should never have to worry about having a roof over their head or food in their stomach. Until we have some form of UBI please remember to support the creative people in your life. 🫶

What's a pirate's favorite letter? A writ of safe passage from his majesty, King Charles II of England.

A soft tortilla makes a great pocket handkerchief

A hard taco shell makes an okay wallet in a pinch.

I just saw a snake outside my office window and now I’m convinced it’s in the garage so now everything in the garage belongs to the snake. 😩

The squirrels and pigeons get along really well, but the pigeons are dumb as rocks. 😅

It’s Torture Tuesday! Get ya asses up and move a bit, pick up something heavy, grow muscles big enough to squeeze the life out of anyone that makes you sad. You’ll feel better. 🩷 #gymsky

It’s fucking Tuesday and I’m ready to fight the mountain of negativity that’s been building up in the world!!!!! youtu.be/GEyBFg3E_dI?...

Artists and content creators should never have to worry about having a roof over their head or food in their stomach. Until we have some form of UBI please remember to support the creative people in your life. 🫶

Sometimes at midnight you’ll see posts about books, other times you see a post about a delicious ass cake. I fucking love this site!

There’s been a lot of hot dog discourse lately and I’m going to need everyone to settle down now.

I wish we had polls and an edit button and better DMs and a better way to organize the Discover feed and universal basic income and affordable housing and access to better education and free healthcare and sandwiches.

Holy shit y’all, when my generation is old enough to go into retirement/nursing homes the music playing in the hallways is going to be so fucking dope. The jobs there will probably be in high demand with every day being a nonstop party pretty much.

Dear diary, I think I blame KMFDM for my dreams of being a robot.

I don’t know who needs this in their life, but I built a playlist of great covers of Misery Business a while back. Enjoy! youtube.com/playlist?lis...

I feel like the Euro Trip soundtrack is the most under appreciated soundtrack ever. So many bangers! youtu.be/fczX_HNaR84?...

Me: “Just one adult beverage before Bluesky tonight.” Narrator: “His drafts grew 3 sizes that night.”

7-11’s origin story is pretty wild! 🤯

Went to a local bar for dinner because they have the best burgers. Got a BBQ burger and it was good, but their tater tots with their smash sauce is top tier right now. 🫠

I wasn't planning to do a server migration for my Mastodon instance today, but Hetzner is out of capacity and the current servers are working hard just to keep up today. 😭

Happy Monday! Just enjoying the warmth of the sunroom today.

I’ve got dad jokes and a dad bod, so I make it very a parent.

Guy Fieri literally just said “I’m making a new state in Flavortown and you’re the congressman”… is Flavortown a country???? 🤯

I wish I could post thirst traps, but I’m just a Hoasis. I’m only appealing if you’re lost in a desert. 😅

An escape room where everybody wakes up on the floor with surgical scars and when you get to the end it’s just a box of surgical tools and you have to figure out who has the key inside them. Oh, did I just do a Saw?

All social media apps need a feature where if you’re posting after midnight you need to prove you’re not intoxicated before you can post. My god WTF???

I’d probably be a millionaire if I wasn’t a punk ass kid during the DotCom bubble. 😩

I want to hire a stunt double to do hard tasks for me like climbing tall ladders and being emotionally stable.

Is it a safe assumption that every kid with access to a dialup connection had a copy of The Anarchists Cookbook right? I’m not misremembering that was a doc everybody used for their internet cred? Version 666 was the big one.

Holy shit I forgot how hard this album starts out! 😳😳😳😳 youtu.be/MSEIKQTF1Uc?...

Everybody quiet!!!!! Pete and Bas are back! youtu.be/ZK_pAlsL6Yc?...

Just watched how they make a stapler and WTF man? Why’s it so complicated?

I thought up a really dumb comedy skit in high school and it just hit me again. A chef cooks in the kitchen and finds a the most useless tool and ponders it a bit. “The most useless tool in my kitchen.” Somebody knocks at the door. Puts the tool down. “Don’t go no where, I have no use for you!”

“A large mecha robot manned by a hummingbird.” Is that something?

I have no fucking clue what they are making but it’s a something that’s for sure!

Muffins are just diet cupcakes. I said what I said.

Feet hanging over the side of the couch and it immediately hit me why the people in Jaws did what they did. My cat attacked me and I never saw it coming. 😳

Another night another How It’s Made. Tonight I’m learning how Baklava is made. A dessert I always think I like and then I buy it and remember I don’t really like it.

Imagine inventing time zones after realizing everybody in the whole world had to agree to it to make it work. 🤯

Baby shower mode activated.

Shoutout to the ice cream truck drivers of our youth who peddled the lowest quality “ice cream” they could find to fill their van with for $20. Some of it was top tier, but the budget items were always 90% visual and 10% flavor.

Heck yeah! I get to learn how fiberglass doors are made! Sorry ladies, I’m taken. 😁

It’s 1:30AM and I’m back on the couch watching How It’s Made because our foster dog is lonely.

Bikini rhymes with needy. 🤯 open.spotify.com/track/6HRfpE...