My five year old asked me at bedtime “mom. Does God love the Devil?” (The answer here is ‘yes.’) But the point of this post is to say: keep asking questions like a five year old: and never ever stop.

Our five year old has discovered “The Greatest Showman” I caught her today making up her own song that had these lyrics “It doesn’t matter what you look like, it doesn’t matter what you sound like: God loves you: and you should be you: because you are so cool.”

Just overheard my 9 year old say “WELL I’M NOT GOING TO BE A PRIEST.” Fair, girl, fair.

@theodramatist.com folded laundry and put some of our 8 year olds clothes in my pile thinking they were my size. I’ve never loved him more. (But also: WUT.)

My kids played “church camp” for literally 6 hours today and I am so happy.

I made this quilt a few months ago: in response to the current political landscape. The title is “who’s my neighbor?” It’s relevant every day, but especially today.

Mom? How did you break up with your boyfriends before you met dad? Um… I just told them this isn’t going to work. WHAT?! I thought you poured chocolate milk on their heads!!!

Five year old: “MOM!! This is so crazy!! Mother’s Day was on a church day: AND FATHERS DAY IS ON A CHURCH DAY TOO! SOOOOOO CRAZY!”

True Facts from an 8 year old.

You know you’re getting old when you’re like “man… I don’t know what I ate: but something at that church potluck is making me burp all night long.”

Well I've learned that my 8yo is stoking theological controversy at school. In her words: "Dad the kids are saying when you die you go to heaven forever, but I've been telling them 'no, you go for a little while until the resurrection of the body.'" attn: @phurns.bsky.social 🕯️

Not to brag: but when your kid has this in her room: you’re winning. ITS ME. I’m winning.

Peak Mom life is when your kid says “I don’t want to listen to mom’s weird music!” THERES NOTHING WEIRD ABOUT 90’s COUNTRY. Especially driving through West Virginia. (I will not entertain arguments to the contrary.)

Five year old: “Mom? Will America get good?”

Five year old: “why are you older than dad but dad knows everything?” Me: “first of all, dad doesn’t know EVERYTHING. Second of all: God gave us all different gifts.” Five year old: “maybe you should go to school more.”

Took my youngest in for her well child checkup. I explained to the doctor that our double clergy house is experiencing “post-Easter colds.” He said “at least it’s not post-Easter Measles.” I said: PREEEEAAAACH. Then he told us not to travel to Texas.

Anybody else using the same email address for 20 years and now running out of storage? Cleaning this up is taking more time than I have.

I asked my almost 5 year old what she wants for her birthday. First request: “a real unicorn or a real mermaid.” I explained that’s not possible. Second request: “a live puppy.” I explained that’s not an option. Third request “ok. I’ll have a giant lollipop with a card on it.”

My kid literally just said “I told my teacher that you had diarrhea and a tummy ache.” None of that is untrue. But… really?!?

Overhearing my 8 year old singing along to the Wicked soundtrack is the top delight of parenting thus far. I’d probably drop dead if I heard her singing along to RENT.

Every year around this time, a guy named Marty calls me and leaves a message saying he needs to make an appointment to do his taxes. At what point do I need to tell him that I’m a priest and not a CPA?

My kids insist on watching the same 3 episodes of “house hunters.” WTF.

Scrolling. And my kid says “wait. Go up! Why is Donald Trump smiling?”

Our daughter has her fifth birthday on Good Friday this year. She informed me that her birthday is “a sad day and a happy day.” Out of the mouths of babes, guys. You can hold happy and sad at the same time.

When your four year old won’t close her eyes at bedtime because (in her words) “it’s my body, my rules.” 🤦🏼‍♀️

Apparently my dad has been “laminating” things by putting packing tape on them. I just told him I have an actual laminator, and now his mind is blown, and I have a part time job.

How does he always know when I’m wallowing in despair?

Here these words again: But thou art the same Lord whose property is ALWAYS to give mercy.

Do not, for one minute, blame the Episcopal church or its leadership for this. The United States of America is to blame.

Unexpectedly running into my favorite nun at the grocery store was exactly the surprising delight that I needed this week. I hope you find yours.

My daughter made this bookmark in Girl Scouts 2 years ago. She was preparing to remind me of my power. Call you senators, friends.

Wait. Is this the place to report all the whacked out stuff my kids say? Because my four year old just asked if we “had water in the 1980s.”

True confessions: I could never figure out twitter (didn’t try too hard tho) I’m gonna need you all to teach and convince me how to jump to this platform.