People used to chase legitimacy for their writing by misattributing it to Lincoln or Twain. Now they’re crediting their half-baked opinions it to ChatGPT. “Hey, an objective program with access to all human knowledge just happens to agree with everything I’ve been saying all along!”

It’s cruel that the word “halitosis” starts with a big exhale syllable. It should be something more like “mmnrmnr.”

Bezos, what’s the point of being so rich if you still have to kiss this much ass?

Captain: I'm really nervous about giving this speech. Sun, rubbing his shoulders: Don't worry, big guy. You got this.

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