Ireland appear to be doing well in a football match, and I have no way to watch it? Do you have any idea how rare that is? The last time Ireland made it to a World Cup I spent the whole of it in various exam halls (the Leaving Cert history exam is a pain that never leaves you).

Can someone please turn this into a series of novels set in the Song dynasty which then becomes a longrunning television series starring eg Benedict Wong? I can help with the format proposal but could only be co-writer at best, because it needs someone with much more China expertise than me.

I was let down by the Guillermo del Toro Frankenstein, which surprised me. I think it’s a weirdly common flaw in Frankenstein adaptations, that the director is far more interested in the creation of the Monster than in what comes next…which is where the real dramatic meat of the tale actually lies.

And so it was that throughout the lands, as news readers named Watson and Crick as the discoverers of the DNA helix, a rousing chorus of “Rosalind Franklin” was directed towards the news.

*sigh* Never not at it.

I am - for entirely legitimate, respectable reasons - knocking around the workplace of an ex(kind of). Really hoping I don’t run into him, because the “I’m here for reasons that have nothing to do with you” explanation is only funny in the movies.

Yesterday, my family had a lengthy debate about the merits of the two Presidential candidates, while my niece and nephew were at the table. I feel like we inadvertently recreated a scene from the Portrait of An Artist as a Young Man (but no one stormed off crying, so maybe not).

Nothing in life is certain except death, taxes and the Olivier revolve. Unusually, I thought it improved the staging this time, something I never say. But I am not a fan of scripts that tell the audience what to think, even when (maybe especially when) I agree with the argument.

EXPLOSION DE LA CRIMINOULITÉ EN FRANCE

I have never worked for a political party or on a political campaign, and I have no intention of ever doing so. But try telling LinkedIn that. (The time they suggested I worked for the Biden/Harris was funnier, as I don’t live in the US, and the Biden/Harris campaign had ceased to exist by then).

Kristin Scott-Thomas would make a great Lord Vetinari, if it was possible to adapt a Prachett novel without ruining it.

I saw the name Coldbath Square and instantly conceived a story of Victorian orphans who have adventures in-between being raised by their firm yet fair great aunt and her dotty housekeeper. There’s probably also a cynical cat. The English really are great at place names, is what I’m saying.

When your seat is right beside the light box, is it technically a spoiler?

Witness for the Prosecution is a perfect Sunday afternoon movie. I spent the whole thing trying to figure out the twist, and still didn’t get it. Tyrone Power is in the William Holden/Glenn Ford category for me. The narrative needs him to be desperately alluring, and I just don’t see it.

Repost for Irish Film Classifications by Damien Owens, because it's just come up in FB memories and it's still *brilliant*.

Today is the Equinox, and also my birthday - meaning I get cake, and the joyful knowledge that the sun is now starting its annual disappearance.

I love Joe Orton, I love the precision-engineered chaotic absurdity of his plays, and I love that he was one of those rare male writers who appreciated the genius of Jane Austen. I cannot for the life of me work out how Northanger Abbey inspired Entertaining Mr Sloane.

Game changer: female shaped swimming goggles. My old goggles up and died and I replaced them with female-specific ones. I was dubious, but 100% worth it. No water got in, and I didn’t have big red marks on my face post-swim (a first).

Someday, I want to see a science-fiction story where the robots are like actual technology. Always needing security upgrades, overloading their central processors if asked to do three tasks in a row, motivated by spite to crash at the worst possible time… Basically robots as printers

Pondering, as I sometimes do in quiet moments, one of the truly eternal political questions - why does anyone take the job of French Prime Minister? Signing up to be a political whipping boy is questionable at the best of times, but the French give out more punishment than most.

Yesterday I saw a show that I genuinely enjoyed, that was witty and clever, and that mic-ed the lead performer. If you need a mic for an 80 seater black box theatre, I really don’t think theatre performance is for you. Either get some vocal training, or go and make short films.

It would appear my local M&S has incurred the wrath of a Thunder God or Gods.

Great historical bilingual pun. Last week I learned that the French left wing would caustically refer to the appeasement-pushing British PM as “Monsieur J’Aime Berlin”. I mean, that’s classy.

I wish my local foxes could resolve whatever their deep seated psychological conflicts are, because good lord, the NOISE. It’s like primal scream therapy for vulpines.

Male spy novelists and creepy as hell sex scenes…why, oh why, oh why. I want intrigue and moral ambiguity not Thoughts on Smooth Thigh Skin.

A journalist described Sally Rooney as “one of Britain’s most famous modern authors.” Sligo up in arms. I’m going to assume that, for some obscure reason, this journalist enjoys being reamed by the Irish commentariat, because otherwise…

Who do I have to bribe for a staged adaptation of Pacific Rim? If we must have a theatre industry that scavenges its big productions from other artforms, can it at least scavenge things I want to see?

One woman carries a carpet across London - quick, someone write a musical about me.

I don’t even watch the Gilded Ages (Julian Fellowes writing about class is a reliable to make me irritable), and this still feels like an attack.

Just received a student discount without asking for it (since I’m not a student). Does this mean I’ve still got it, or that I drastically need to improve my personal grooming?

Some stereotypes are absolutely worth living up to - I had to at least try it!

Can it be? A historical drama that acknowledges the relentless, backbreaking labour and brutal physical pain poor women endured to keep the rest of the world dressed in clean clothes? Lynn Nottage, take (even more of) my money.

How do you make a choice when you nothing about the options? The gas to my building is being shut off, meaning I have to buy an induction cooker. Thing is…I know nothing about induction cookers (and looking online you just get “would you like this built-in induction hob” which is useless to me).

Dear BBC Sports, A Cork-Tipperary All Ireland Hurling is the opposite of historic, do some research. It’s the equivalent of a Germany-Brazil World Cup final. If Donegal, or Armagh were in the final, now THAT would be historic.

I can feel a Roy Keane “teenagers shouldn’t be taking penalties” rant incoming - that’s a senior player’s job. Poor girl, it’s a lot to take for an 18 year old.

In the middle of a penalty shootout is not the time for a “are you still watching?” message, BBC iPlayer, what are you playing at?

Feels the BBC’s set-up for filming half-time commentary on the England-Sweden match wasn’t designed with eleven foot tall Swedish giants in mind. I feel like that’s an oversight.

“Authentic Japanese cuisine with chicken tenders.” I don’t think those words belong together.

Getting to the point where I want to see a corporate executive in a science fiction story say some version of the following: “No, I will not do this insanely dangerous and/or immoral thing, because as a sensible business person I don’t want to waste my investment.” It would at least be refreshing.

There isn’t really a player called Al Dente on the Italian team, is there? Surely my ears are deceiving me.

I am the least sporty person in the world, but man do I love it in football when they do that misdirect-no-I’m-going-right thing. Cracking Spanish goal.

Two missed calls from a number that “is not recognised” whenever I call them back. These are not the kind of paradoxes one expects to encounter in press officer life.

There is no word in the English language that will do justice to the relief I felt on reaching the air conditioned cafe today. Celts aren’t built for weather like this.

SCREAM.

Mission Impossible kept reminding me of Dr Strangelove. Much like when Dune kept bringing the Life of Brian to mind, I think that’s probably bad.

“You have a beautiful burn” is going on my list of unexpected things medical professionals have said to me. It’s not a long list, but that it exists at all says something.

"hey dude, how was the hike?" "not great, man" www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...

The Harry Potter children have been cast. Crossing my fingers their parents are keeping them far, far away from any and all sections of the internet.

The 21st Century Neo-Gothic as a vehicle for expressing the fears of the urban precariat and critiquing rampant landlordism. I’ve read two books* this month that can be described this way. If I run into a third, I’m declaring it a new genre. (*Goodlord and I Want to Go Hole But I’m Already There)

As it would be the birthday of #PeterCushing today, I feel obligated to tell this story of one of the nicest men in horror.