Hubby: Baby you're a firework Me: curls eyes Blow me. Hubby: walks away.

Dancing with the stars is when you're sitting outside on your patio at night and looking up🌟

Happy Canada Day to our nicest neighbors.

Cruz is a birthright citizen Rubio is a birthright citizen And they are both hypocritemaxxers.

The 250 in Freedom 250 is the attendance number.

Excuse me, I build sand castles at the beach, if you see me walk around me. *I'm a salty beach bish.

The band doesn’t even have to be there

Cause of ducklings deaths...toxic ignorance. *Let's reflect on that.

All dressed up and ready to go, yet no motivation; stays on patio.

The president of the United States is a liar and a confabulator.

Guess who's going to be rage tweeting tonight? LOL and you know he's watching on television! *Obama presidential center is burning his *ss

A wonderful day in Chicago is... When the Obama Presidential Center opens and you feel a great sense of pride and joy down to your toesies wonderful.

Bargatze is maga *Bargatze is gone.

He shat and got off the pot, and the scrolling hath stopped. *brought to you by a Shakespeare minute.

Let there be rain, so let it be said ,let it be written.

ideally, you want the President of the United States, the Mayor of Crazytown and the village idiot to be three different people

Oh piss on It! *Said the elephant.

Dumbty Trump falls asleep after the first tip off.

How many people betting that the Dumpy does a no show at the garden tonight?

May the boos be with you. *All of my thoughts for Trump tonight.

Watching a Bananas baseball game for the fun of it, when a commercial for 45 47 whiskey came on, now my t.v. is off. * for fun.

Go ahead wherever you are and raise your hand if you're sick of this shit! *Everyone will get this.

I ration food now like it's the 1920's.

Let me count thy ways in which to use this leftover into a new meal. ~ Shakespeare in Trump's economy.

Hunter Biden 5 star level trolling achieved. *falls in love. Shut up.

I am Ying and yang~ you know has nicely appointed guest rooms; never has guests.

Cottage cheese is making me a proteinmaxxer.

CBS lit a match And... The bonfire burns it down.

Watching a woman make homemade bread. *You know I kneaded this right?

Thank goodness!

Tulsi, don't let the door hit you in the *ss. Bye Undercover Felicia.

Bye Felicia and CBS!

CBS canceled Colbert and I canceled CBS.

Whatever it is...er...or I did I will play the menopause card. *I've earned it.

Whenever I see pizza... Well, I eat it!

Fetterman is totally the Manchin of all the Sinemas.

I just paid 86.47 for my restaurant order. *86 47!

🔥

I have that resting Xi face.

👍

If you can't beat them, join them... And other things that must be going through John Fetterman's mind.

Remember, Elon Musk is an INVESTOR, not an INVENTOR, and he doesn't HAVE good ideas, he BUYS them.

This spaghetti tastes like I've been heavily carb inebriated.

Not one bit...I don't even consider them. *president Trump showing us how deeply he cares for each of us.

I reclaim my Time! ...And other things I say when I have to listen to the president's excuses.

Sean Duffy the reality show...tone deaf.

Living rent free... *Obama in Trump's head

Life is like a box of Bluesky posts...you never know if anyone will ever see it. *but they'll always have a nougat inside.

Someone take grandpa's phone away from him. *He's frontal lobe is on fire.

If a sitting president tells you a guy(Todd Blanch) is great because he kept me out of jail... Means... You guessed it, Trump belongs in jail.