No mother “accidentally” tells her son he’s a piece of shit when it comes to women.

so according to the constitutional scholars at MAGA University, Kamala Harris can just refuse to certify the election, do I have that right

You know what I don’t miss on Elmo’s bird brain app? The slew of monster energy drinkers saying racist shit in my replies.

Here's today's post: "elderly golfer clownfucks his way out of another imaginary crisis" reality’s calling, Donny — pick up the phone. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post — bit.ly/4fLsb0n

aaaaand here's today's post: "the press is still up to their relentless fuckery" — the malpractice just keeps coming. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post — bit.ly/413VK94

does anyone have any use for about a thousand old tweets in which I gleefully predict that Donald Trump is going to rot in prison? apparently I don't need them any more

I just passed a law that Republicans can't use my bathroom

huge influx of MAGA dipshits today. remember: block, don't engage

I see Joe and Mika have gone down to Florida to kiss the ring. How pathetic. I’d like to request Joe, Mika, and their morning show to preemptively block me on here if they ever migrate over from literally hell….. I mean the bird app

help! help! I'm being repressed! come see the violence inherent in the system! I'm being bullied off of bluesky by a [checks notes] 108-follower rando nobody. carry on, folks, while this silly dipshit shouts into the wind

I’m being impersonated by someone under the name jefftiedrich that is not a legit account this is my only account.

Here's today's post: "oh great, now the press is sanewashing Bobby Brainworms" — opportunities, how do they work? thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post — bit.ly/40S6jeZ

ideally, you want the President of the United States, the Mayor of Crazytown and the village idiot to be three different people

Feels great to not be on the village idiots alphabet bird app for once. Hope to see all of my followers from that hellscape migrate to see my posts here.

here's today's post: "this week in stupid: November 16 edition" — Jesse’s disinvited, raw milkers get ignited, and so much more... thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff — bit.ly/3Cx5FJS