earlier today

early finish friday lets get these boots off and feet up 😉

i dont always have my hole out, sometimes im filling holes (literally)

need to stop meowing at the end of serious conversation

okay own up who said it can be Monday again?

changing my laptop to light mode because im old now and cant see dark mode text :'(

its a bit wet and wild out there

I should use this app more what should i post

gm fellas onlyfans.com/onlyljofans

if a rich old money gay wants to take me on their next ski trip i will let you keep my jockstraps from each day x

just whipped these up today along with a ton of other things 😭 im most proud if these tho

the four stages

my banana crème brûlée cheesecake on a shortbread crumb - basically i saw a tiktok but it had no instructions or ingredients, so i had to make it up from other similar recipes and adapt.

posting a jock pic on insta stories ends up like

repost for naughty, like for nice

morning daddies

massive spot on my nose all day fuck sake

managed all of 2025 without getting sick and 2026 has just been a write off so far 😭 why cant the British public cover their mouths and stay inside if they're foaming at the mouth

drove into city centre today and a) it was snowing b) everyone was driving well - did i wake up in a parallel universe?

pretty sure i nearly broke my fingers defrosting the car in what feels like -400°c 😭 why would anyone want to live somewhere this cold all the time

did apple actually get rid of the select all option in their text editor??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

minecraft day

woke up covered in lube

happy new year girlies have a beer on me (unless you dont drink then have like a packet of hoolahoops)

wdym face id dont recognise my face its literally right there

why do cows have hooves? because they lactose.

supermarkets are dead today btw so go do your shopping asap

legit nothing better than a frijj milkshake (banana obvsies)

ITV after being created in 1955:

ive smoked, vaped and everything in between but i still never understand cigars. "Please can i have one bad breath please waiter, yes your stinkiest 🙏 "

I usually do all my xmas shopping way in advance but alas, i will be shopping today for the last bits and food (cba send help)

always forget to use this damn app

every time i buy clothes on vinted i have instant regret until theyve been washed ironed and no longer smell of someone else 😭😭😭

defrosting my truck ahead of time because im an adult who doesnt need to panic and rush later 🤣

making chilli at 3pm because i aint eating till late and im already starving

posting c*ck on insta is such a wild concept to me like what the fuck 😭

is it just me or are iPhones buggy as shit now. like I just wanna open my bank app why is it taking 2 minutes 😭

piss stains

I’m sick for the first time this year which in itself is a win because normally I’d have been sick like 4-5 times so far so it’s a vast improvement but also I’m sick 😆

im just a gay man suffering from tummy ache

oh yeah we’re back to miserable weather for the next 7 months can’t wait x

job title: professional screenshotter

let’s get a takeaway and watch Kay’s cooking together