I feel like every time you hit Britta Curl, you should get someone out of the penalty box. #PWHL

Abby Newhook clap clap clapclapclap #PWHL #BostonFleet 49 seconds after the Frost scored.

Megan Keller clap clap clapclapclap #PWHL #BostonFleet

Shay Maloney clap clap clapclapclap #PWHL #BostonFleet

Can we not chat with Mike Eruzione? I feel like that would be the tougher get.

I say please and thank you to Siri. We are not the same.

What if it *was* smelly cat’s fault?

California Governor Gavin Newsom is a twat

I do not think my mother's substitute caregiver is much of a wine drinker. I came to this conclusion when I found the red wine in the fridge.

My mother has, for the third year in a row, informed me that I should just order my own christmas presents.

I think we need a king named John the Wanker

My brain has expanded on the theme. I’m a standup comic in Vegas and I come out one night, say hello to the crowd and notice a bunch of people wearing the same shirt. Turns out it’s a group of people from a school for the blind and yes obviously they are blind. I thank them for coming, tell them

Sometimes I hate my brain. It just gave me this: There’s nothing wrong with an A cup. Even if it’s lowercase. And in Braille.

If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.

Anyone got some cute pet pics they wanna share?

Let’s go Fleet! #BostonFleet #PWHL

Why are narwhals real, but unicorns aren't?

Sometimes the voices in my head say something that makes me laugh my ass off. In this case, “Tubgirl wishes she was this fucked up.”

Apparently the little rollers for me to fix my shower door are both arriving today and not yet shipped.

I could not afford to have both jars

I wonder how many parents of twins mix them up when they’re young and end up swapping their names for their whole lives.

I have got to stop spending money I don’t have.

If I’m ever stupid rich, I’m going to start a payment processor for erotica that is willing to go to court over the right to sell entirely legal materials.

Anyone know where I put my wallet?

I’m tired of being expected to respect poorly thought out opinions that contradict reality.

Alina Mueller clap clap clapclapclap #PWHL #BostonFleet 2-0 after two games Outscoring opponents 5-1 This team looks mentally tough in a way they didn't at the start of last season and I think that bodes well. Off hand, I'd suggest some Boston players were embarrassed by the way last season

Susannah Tapani doesn't fit the meter but we're going to clap clap clapclapclap anyway. #PWHL #BostonFleet

Abby Newhook clap clap clapclapclap #PWHL #BostonFleet

I don’t know why people don’t like women’s sports. They’re just like men’s sports but with tits.

@profanity.accountant Sup?

Anyone go fully nocturnal?

I wish there were fewer commercials about shaving your pubic hair.

I just realized that sometime in late spring or early summer I will have been watching the Red Sox for forty years. The list of things that have been in my life for forty years is short.

If you do not spray some whipped cream in your mouth when preparing the pie for service, we can no longer be friends.

I love a good turkey meal.

Not only did I break a chair on Thanksgiving, I did it before we ate. 👍

Ever look a dog deep in the eyes and know in your bones he eats his own poop?

This Ken Burns American Revolution documentary is pretty good.

Hey, I made a starter pack! If you have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and are creative (like me!) let me know! And give these cool folks a follow. #EDS #StarterPack #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Art #ArtSky #OCSky #WriteSky #BookSky #WritingCommunity #Disability #Disabled #ChronicIllness

For the record, I would be totally okay if no Red Sox players took part in the WBC.

Remember this> youtu.be/b_zAlVv73HI?... Apparently we're just five days shy of its 20th birthday.

Can someone explain this Charlie Brown thing? I’ve been mostly offline for a few days and am confused.

Not paying artists just entrenches the current power structure.

I'm listening to a podcast on authors who are terrible people and they said when the Ender's Game movie came out it brought a lot of attention to Orson Scott Card's horrific beliefs and I will never get used to non geeks catching up on geek shit fifteen years after the fact. Also, they said, "And

I’m going to be 55 soon. Fifty fucking five. Fuuuuuuuck.

My mom just averted the phone with “What the fuck do you want?” so y’all know I come by it honestly.

I do not think this is going to end well.

It's #TransDayOfRemembrance Trans rights are human rights. Everybody has the right to exist as exactly who they are. 🏳️‍⚧️

Solving a problem is not a license to give me more problems.

Assuming this is true those people should be jailed forever.