I don't recall any previous transformative technologies that had to be sold to the public so hard. No one in 1999 was going, "Guys. Cell phone? It's coming, whether we like it or not. I think it's important, FOR WOMEN ESPECIALLY, to learn about cell phone. So that we're not left behind!!"

my toddler left half a banana out for an hour and then didn’t want to eat it because it was “old.” i sliced off the brown end, then cut the rest into “banana coins” and she ate them all! that’s the type of shit i get excited about these days.

i forgot to put my most recent shit posts here. first one is for paying subscribers only. but i did post this @frigidairecare.bsky.social review on insta substack.com/@amberrollo/...

i am a mean witch daddy. would you like to hide? - our 2 yr old just now

going to a pool party today that says it’s 4pm till midnight. i’m up at 5:30am every morning, kill me now.

i do mean to be dramatic and it feels like a god is playing with me like a doll. like i am their sims character and they’re the type to put me in the pool with no ladder.

He makes a dracula face at me, the shadow of a soy face. open.substack.com/pub/amberrol...

tonight our 2 yr old said “live with arms wide open and hug your seltzer” so true

last week we transitioned our toddler from her crib & into a toddler bed. first couple of days i ended up sleeping on the wood floor next to her. but i just heard a “clunk” & checked the camera. she clearly fell out of the bed & looked annoyed, but she just crawled back into bed & went to sleep.

matt got blood taken today. we see a lot of doctors and have gotten a lot of blood drawn, but i’ve never experienced this before. they put a vile of his blood into a box, gave it back to us, along with a fedex bag and told us to drop it off at fedex. it was bizarre.

staring at the blank post before you. i wrote about explaining “unwritten” by natasha bedingfield to my 2 year old. but it’s really about the power in facing discomfort head on. open.substack.com/pub/amberrol...

it’s national caregivers day. about 1 in 5 people provide unpaid care to a loved one. you probably know one. it’s hard to understand until you are doing it (and you likely will) but it is heart wrenching, backbreaking work. do something nice for a caregiver you know. no advice please.

i wrote about the way strangers approach matt and the way it makes me feel open.substack.com/pub/amberrol...

i am so tired of ai on google. not a promo but just switched to duckduckgo and it was super easy to turn off all the ai features in the settings. you can hide ai generated images too. still unfortunately plugged into google for email, but nice to have a simple way to search.

i don’t want to brag but our fridge has been broken since last friday and i still didn’t buy anything today 💁‍♀️

consider me on the picket line in LA jan 30th! ✊ and also here are some things i think we should consider moving forward ❤️

I just wrote to my sisters about a letter I’m writing to my daughter about stopping breastfeeding and I wonder if I would be this dramatic if my life wasn’t so dramatic. I bet I would. I’m grateful I’m not in another timeline making a romantic substack about my matcha latte routine.

Every one of these announcements reads to me as "we don't have enough people and supplies to occupy more than one city at a time"

was up all night because my husband is sick. i’m infuriated by ice murdering another person (important to remember Renee Good is by no means the first and won’t be the last). i’m exhausted. so, going to volunteer today w/ mutual aid.

sitting on the couch listening to my husband fight for his life to read our 2 year old cinderella while she talks over everything word and i can’t help but think it’s perfect karma for his work as a podcaster.

Happy New Year! May your connection to the greater mushroom feel strong! open.substack.com/pub/amberrol...

i love how regular grocery shopping is like buying food at a theme park level expensive now. capitalism works so good.

my daughter is trying to put her hair clips on her dad just now and she says, no joke “primping is so hard” i don’t know where she learned that word. but she’s not wrong, primping ain’t easy.

i was about to be stressed this morning and then i remembered it was because of, checks notes, “last minute poetry edits for a podcast” i couldn’t bring myself to take something so made up seriously

my daughter keeps embarrassing me by asking “who’s that? what’s their name?” so loudly the other person hears. how am i supposed to remember every single classmate’s parents’ name? or that one cousin i see every 7 years?

my daughter would like a villain origin story movie, à la wicked or the joker, but from swiper the fox’s perspective.

i keep forgetting what social medias exist, which is a good sign for my mental health. but it was my birthday and i wrote a new piece! this is my favorite line

i wrote about my jeep

“Hazel” is a very happy girl, but sometimes she’s not! I wrote about how we’re dealing with those moments. Sometimes during hard times when I take a breath she says “no mommy! no breathe!” open.substack.com/pub/amberrol...

that trump video looks like a burger king commercial

ok but what if it was a diss track about charlie kirk? 🤯

new substack about “Hazel’s” first day! open.substack.com/pub/amberrol...

im scared of social media at the moment because i screamed into the void and it screamed back, but if you want to read my new substack, its up open.substack.com/pub/amberrol...

i have this app that i use to track my toddler’s sleep and after i put her to bed it asks if she’s protesting or if she fell asleep. but my two year old is not protesting per say, she just spends 10-15 mins after i leave the room to catching up with her stuffed penguin named Bilum.

i just realized i’m making enough with my writing now to afford rent in the first place i lived in new york! it was $500 a month and i was sharing a bed, but pretty cool! makes me feel hopeful that i can actually do this.

yesterday was 2 years since matt’s stroke, today we are celebrating our daughter’s 2nd birthday. life really do be like that ☯️ amberrollo.substack.com/p/parasocial...

i just saw an add for no smear mascara and realized, oh shit, i haven’t worn that stuff in ages. i mean mascara in general. i can’t believe i used to take time out of my day to make the hair on my eyelids looks longer. how bizarre.

i have a terrible voice in my head that i fight everyday. she says i’m doing a good job and deserve rest. TRIGGER WARNING: HOSPITAL everyone is ok open.substack.com/pub/amberrol...

our almost 2 year old woke up a little grumpy from her nap today. as she was complaining “mommy no put me down” and other regulars, she pointed at a pic on our shelf and said in the same whine “that’s paul verhoeven”

my daughter doesn’t know “there was an old lady who swallowed a fly” but she does know “they are eating the dogs. they are eating the cats. that are in there”

until we see him, he is both alive and dead.

here’s a bit of the new piece i wrote on why i’ll never have a spotless stove. if you want to read the rest it’s at the link in my bio for free!

i got a new phone because matt ran my old one over with his wheelchair. the new one doesn’t remember my twitter password, so i guess that’s how i finally quit twitter.

wrote a new substack about my rash. it’s for paid subscribers only, you sickos. it’s actually me, i’m the sicko. open.substack.com/pub/amberrol...

we have a picture of paul verhoeven in our house. a while ago my two year old pointed at it and i told her “that’s paul verhoeven” so today she’s been running around the house pointing at me and matt and even the dogs and saying “that’s paul verhoeven” and then giggling

i wrote another piece! it’s about asking for help. so… i’m asking you to subscribe to my substack if you want to help me write a book.

walking around in sweatpants and a harley davidson t with greasy bangs and a man just rolled down his window to say “omg you’re so pretty” i immediately checked if someone was swiping my wallet

“warm” “inspiration to women” “amazing light” is how their describing a senior executive at blackstone blackstone, who is buying up single family homes to drive up the prices in vegas? gave motel 6 guest lists to ICE? owned the slaughterhouse that got in trouble for child labor? that blackstone?

new piece about luck ❤️ amberrollo.substack.com/p/lucky

new piece on substack. i wrote this while waiting 4 hours for hitch to be installed at u-haul. i’m still here. if you know my u-haul history you know it’s taking EVERYTHING in me to keep my tone under control. 🙏❤️ open.substack.com/pub/amberrol...