Would Hell look any different, I wonder?

It's a very popular documentary from your planet— Dust. Yep. That means the filtration system isn't working so the air is almost certainly running low.

Someone should probably do something about all of these alarms.

could be entertaining.

Or what?

and you want me to occupy this humiliating space? really, doctor. don't you ever grow up?

dear god what have you done? it's so ( strained ) cozy.

I am *not* leaving my pyjamas.

need a match, darling?

( she makes a sound that could be a chuckle. ) no, like the little maniac in toy story. i can be sid for an hour, then i'm burning it. ( she takes it, spinning the lanyard around her finger. ) might open a few locked doors for us.

i must confess as to being underwhelmed.

( she smiles at him like he's a puppy doing a trick, or trying to, at least. ) that's right, joel. what do you suppose it is? doesn't look like organic matter to me.

not another brunette.

junobot you devil! you told me you were single.

yes, same premise, very good. rushed expeditions can be useful too, but what we have here was built to last, to survive. people would have to live & die here. children born & raised. we'll come across bodies soon. that'll be very informative.

well ring-a-ding, this won't be so bad after all.

kind of! 'cause your first outlook posts are still so infantile, but to get that far you have to put absolutely everything you have into it. there's no secrets you can keep. one could, in theory, dissect a species' entire technological tree just by analyzing the components of this place.

lots of archaic technologies to be found. every species has its secrets. the older ones, the more advanced, they get streamlined, they all look the same & work the same. it's like, oh, what do you have on earth? automobiles? do you have those yet? it's like how there's more character in *classics*.

i feel sAfER already. oh, it's on a tilt. that's going to bother me. you know, these old scout stations are a gold mine for *weird*. if weird was gold, & on a cosmic scale it kind of is. speaking as a scientist.

can't do it silently, can you? oh! i fixed it. now we can have a gander 'round this place without having to worry about heatstroke. you can let go of those keys now.

i can hardly wait.

@junobot.bsky.social who gave you a manbun?

then maybe it's a prestigious establishment after all. forget the tea, hold all the keys on this command panel down & try to reconnect that dangly bit. i'm running out of hands.

i'm about to relapse.

it's a terrible planet, i've been saying this for years.

four point five, really.

as i was saying, i've retired. absolutely no murder or mayhem here.

those words don't belong in that order coming out of *that* mouth.

what do you think i'm doing here?

i'm a *retired* hag, thank you.

a quiet universe, i suppose.

i wipe better off my shoe.

better women have tried.

i'm crushed.

you can call me master.

excuse me?

oh? could he be more than a pretty face? i've already accounted for metallic allergy, thank you. what bar let you In?

patching a hardware failure with a software update before this thing goes careening into that supernova. you could fetch some tea?

that makes two of us. yes, you can assist.

where the hell did you come from?

latest in things that aren't happening.

would i be here, talking to you, if i was?

deeply personal reasons.

of course. & that won't be necessary. i am renouncing violence in all its forms. even the really fun ones.

it's honesty. any sugar?

a throat just begging to be strangled. i mean hello, valerie. coffee?