@profanity.accountant do I need to wash my mouth out with soap?

I still find it exceedingly funny that Marco Rubio accepted the SecState position then Trump promptly takes his entire role from him and makes him explain the situation anyway bsky.app/profile/atru...

This is not a drill: Stewie and Ollie have suited up for their adventure (aka lounging outside). I repeat that THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Have you or your consultants considered what an enormous FU this is to your constituents who AREN’T law enforcement? Because it doesn’t seem like you have

Prediction markets are the MrBeast of gambling

Shut it all down. All of it

Idle thought: how is Chuck Grassley still in the Senate? I don’t mean why hasn’t he been voted out but how physically? Dude’s gonna be 93 this September

Feeling oddly spiritually comforted that so many of my atheist/agnostic cradle Catholic brethren are ready to ride or die for Chicago Pope to win against this administration

@chrislhayes.bsky.social ummm dude? that was you on my tv tonight on #TheBoys right?

Someone pointed out to me that I said “nailed it!” during Holy Week and fucking lol. See you tomorrow JC

I just got a robocall that I decided to answer because I’m a bit drunk and it mispronounced my last name so badly that I now want to join the kinetic war against the machines

I FINALLY saw #KPopDemonHunters . It was utterly charming and the songs were so catchy I probably wouldn’t mind having it on all the time if I had a kid

Elon Musk honestly just baffles me. If I had his money I’d do things like pick a city every week and pay off everyone’s medical debt/mortgages/credit card debt. It’d be so easy for him to become a national hero and have the same amount of money. But it doesn’t even occur to him to do that.

We’re getting closer than ever to just charging $100k for a university diploma and calling it a day

This sounds like the saddest place in the world

I find it interesting that Andreessen repeatedly connects “introspection” with “the individual needs to feel guilt.” Are they redefining concepts in their group chats? And the idea that Sam Walton woke up and built more Walmarts without reflecting on what was working or not and why is just silly

I also believe Donald Trump’s State of the Union address tonight has the potential to put his presidency on more stable ground—if he were a completely different person and exhibited behavior he’s never shown in his entire life

Defensive Bunny is much more skilled than Offensive Bunny

Listening to variety mix on streaming and they’re playing Howard Jones and it reminded me of going to see him on this tour in high-school with friends and a parent insisted that I take their car and drive everyone (?) despite just meeting me (??) and also I really looked kind of shifty then (???)

This is perfection and actually DID make me lol

The description of GenZers and millennials drowning in debt and not owning homes doesn’t apply to those who shop at these stores. These are rich kids with rich parents in rich areas who didn’t have to get student loans and won’t need a mortgage because their folks will just give them a house

My ambition to one day have 100 billion dollars appears to have taken a back seat for a rather nearer and more achievable goal – having one billion dollars.

Pop Quiz: You've got Elon's money. What's the first thing you buy that makes you happy? I pay everyone’s medical debt and student loans and also lobby politicians so there is no more medical debt and student loans

This is fucking ridiculous, we used to mock or demonize or bomb countries that did this

Peter Thiel et al never manage to explain how all of us just meekly submit to accepting them as oligarchs and working for them without fighting back with the wrench

You are not prepared to hear this guy sing

There needs to be bigger punishment than this, but it’s a start

In solidarity with today's ICE OUT OF MINNESOTA blackout, MinnMax is donating $1 to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota for every share of this Bluesky post for the next hour.

Rep. Harriet Hageman is obnoxious as fuck and looks pleased with herself when finished. Maybe Trump will notice her now!

Wait, what just happened in the Jack Smith hearing?? Some kind of audience outburst??

Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen, no jam bands Nina Hagen Black Flag Liz Phair Bruce Springsteen Parliament Funkadelic

This is a man who Kristi Noem is completely shocked and horrified could be “doxxed” (aka properly IDed as a government employee) because of the danger it would put him and his family in, including, I presume, any 5 year old children

Somebody needs to make a It Happened! app immediately that has a unique ringtone stat Please leave preferred ringtones in replies

Indeed, what mature adult posts texts on social media 🤔 Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

We live in a cold cruel country

Depending on your time zone, we’re not a year in. Who knows what wonders this next year will hold

Year 2255: time travelers jostling each other to get the opportunity to kill Mercator like they’re 21st century tourists to Mount Everest

My working theory is these types of misunderstandings stem from not reading enough fiction. And no, I don’t mean the only five books that conservatives read so they can (still inaccurately) parrot back what they think it was about to each other. They need to read to develop empathy and get art

This is why those stickers of Calvin peeing on [thing, usually political thing] are so insulting and disrespectful

Heard you was talkin' shit

This is going to be received positively when ChatGPT recommends a specific brand of rope for a child to end it all, dontcha think

“Who does he think he is, the Pope?”

@mcuban.bsky.social it might help if you think of universal healthcare as for “the poors”. We could still have optional insurance for your premium concierge physician; the difference for the rest of us, instead of paying money to the middlemen who provide no value, we’d pay slightly higher taxes

We need Mackenzie Scott to just throw a billion to an independent journalism collective, no strings attached

There’s something darkly funny about “AI can empower even uncreative people who have no ideas to create art” and “you need specialized training to create AI prompts because you can’t articulate what you think” existing in the same universe. It’s like a double insult to everyone

🎶 oh the weather outside is weather 🎵

the right attitude

The thing that bothers me the most about AI discourse is that the valued metric is time, not quality. Quality has been elided if not completely ignored in this narrative.

So is CBS now just the Bari Weiss Show or what? This is some bizarre strategy from a giant media company. I know that the failson Ellison will be ok but big oof on this whole situation.

Where’s my #pluribus people at? Because I just watched the latest episode and have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS