When the bots are done scraping my data, can they take some of my fat with them before they go? #joke #funny #humour #humor #comedy #AI #bots #weightloss

There’s no way Dolly Parton has kidney stones. At the very least they would have to be rhinestones. #dolly #dollyparton #joke #humour #humor #funny #health #comedy

Consumer culture is killing our planet. Do we really need a new moon EVERY month? #moon #funny #humour #humor #comedy #joke #consumerism #fullmoon #newmoon

In the age before cell phones we had to actually answer the phone. It was awful. #humour #humor #funny #joke #comedy #iphone #cellphones #genx

Michael Myers would never find me like he did Laurie Strode because I’m never going back into the closet. #halloween #gay #joke #humour #humor #funny #comedy

If god is real he can text me, but I’ll probably just holy ghost him. #funny #joke #humour #humor #comedy #dadjoke #religion

It’s Julie Andrews’ 90th birthday! Time for my annual attempt to get Burkina Faso to change its name to Burkina FaSoLaTiDo. #birthday #humour #humor #funny #joke #comedy #julieandrews #burkinafaso

I’m big in Japan. At least an XL. #joke #japan #humour #humor #dadjoke #funny

No one wants the Rapture to happen more than atheists. #rapture #atheist #religion #christian #humour #humor #funny #joke #comedy

I guess McNeil Consumer Healthcare will be making a $10MM contribution to the White House ballroom project tomorrow. #tylenol #autism #trump #humour #humor #satire #rfkjr

I could start my own yard & lawn maintenance company, but I’m more of a lard & yawn kinda guy. #dadjoke #joke #funny #pun #punny #humour #humor #lazy #comedy

When I see the word “coworkers”, am I the only person who wants to pronounce it as “cow orkers”? #language #funny #humour #humor #joke #coworkers #comedy #english #cows

As a non-drinker, I’m less prosecco and more antisecco. #alcohol #pun #dadjoke #badjoke #joke #funny #humour #humor #comedy

If animals need to add a layer of fat before hibernation, why don’t they just go on a cruise? #cruise #hibernate #funny #joke #humour #humor #comedy #animals

Now that Burning Man is over, next up is the Burning While Peeing Festival. #burningman #festivals #funny #joke #humour #humor #comedy #burning

Breaking: Ivanka has rushed to her father’s bedside so that he can grope her one last time. #ishedeadyet #donald #trump #ivanka #funny #joke #humour #humor #comedy #satire

I don’t care about the Little Engine That Could. I’m more interested in the Little Bloodclot That Could. #ishedeadyet #trump #funny #humour #humor #joke #comedy #health #medicine

Sure, the Ming Dynasty might be more famous, but the Alexis Carrington Dynasty had all the drama. #humour #humor #funny #joke #comedy #theeighties #eighties #dynasty #mingdynasty

They really go out of their way to make you feel welcome on cruise ships. #joke #funny #humour #humor #comedy #cruise #vacation

I’ve decided to stop dusting and just let achaeologists discover my apartment and clean it for me. #funny #cleaningtips #joke #comedy #humour #humor #archaeology

I love air travel but the lift can be such a drag. #airtravel #airplanes #dadjoke #badjoke #joke #funny #humour #humor #comedy #travel

The best part of being away on vacation is not having to squeegee the shower door after you use it. 😉 #vacation #humour #funny #comedy #joke

It’s a good thing salmon is salmon coloured. Otherwise it could be quite confusing. #joke #humor #humour #funny #food #salmon #comedy

Me pointing to a woman's t-shirt and saying "I've been there!" and then worrying that her boyfriend thinks I mean her breasts instead of the city on her shirt. #humour #joke #funny #comedy #humor #haha #malllife

The windmills of my mind generate enough power to run the cockles of my heart. #funny #joke #humour #humor #comedy #windmills #health #healthtips

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does a beaver take credit? 🦫 🌲 #beaver #canada #joke #funny #humour #humor #forest #comedy #canadian

I wasn’t sure if my hair was supposed to turn gray or grey, so I just went bald instead. #gray #grey #spelling #humour #humor #grayarea #greyarea #joke #funny #comedy #aging #genx #hair #hairstyle #bald

Good luck finding Jenny at 867-5309 without an area code now. #theeighties #eightiesmusic #80s #the80s #funny #humour #humor #joke #comedy

I remembered 2 people’s names today. I am on FIRE. #funny #aging #old #humor #humour #comedy #memory #joke #genx

USA: Can I ask a ques.. Canada: No potatoes for you! #seinfeld #soupnazi #potatotariff #canada #tariffs #potato #markcarney #trade #tradedeals #funny #canadian #humour #humor #comedy #joke

USA: Can I ask a ques.. Canada: No potatoes for you! #seinfeld #soupnazi #potatotariff #canada #tariffs #potato #markcarney #trade #tradedeals #funny #canadian #humour #humor #comedy #joke

I remembered 2 people’s names today. I am on FIRE. #funny #aging #old #humor #humour #comedy #memory #joke #genx

Good luck finding Jenny at 867-5309 without an area code now. #theeighties #eightiesmusic #80s #the80s #funny #humour #humor #joke #comedy

I suffer from mail pattern baldness. I only have a postage stamp size of hair left. #funny #joke #pun #punny #dadjoke #comedy #humour #humor #bald #postoffice #postage

I think I know why I’m having trouble using my chopsticks. I think they gave me a pair meant for a left-handed person. #humour #humor #funny #joke #comedy #laugh #hilarious #japanese #sushi #problem

Oprah: “You get a tsunami and you get a tsunami and you get a tsunami!” #oprah #tsunamis #tsunami #maui #hawaii #funny #capitalism #roads #humour #humor #satire #comedy

Remember, it’s “i” before “e” unless you’re weird. #spelling #teaching #joke #dadjoke #funny #humour #humor #comedy #education

Oprah: “You get a tsunami and you get a tsunami and you get a tsunami!” #oprah #tsunamis #tsunami #maui #hawaii #funny #capitalism #roads #humour #humor #satire #comedy

I think I know why I’m having trouble using my chopsticks. I think they gave me a pair meant for a left-handed person. #humour #humor #funny #joke #comedy #laugh #hilarious #japanese #sushi #problem

Unless you want wet hair, you should never lift your glass of milk pasteurize. #dadjoke #badjoke #joke #funny #humour #humor #comedy #pun #punny

Make fun of me all you want for being pedantic, but if it wasn’t for me you’d never know that you were walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk. #joke #funny #comedy #humour #humor #pedantic #rules #haha

Make fun of me all you want for being pedantic, but if it wasn’t for me you’d never know that you were walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk. #joke #funny #comedy #humour #humor #pedantic #rules #haha

@duffyj.bsky.social Happy Birthday.

Katy Perry has lost her Bloom…in more ways than one. #katyperry #orlandobloom #humour #humor #funny #comedy #pun #celebrities #gossip #joke

If your name isn’t Paige Turner then I have no interest in reading your book. #pun #dadjoke #joke #funny #humour #humor #comedy #books #reading

This year, July 1st will officially be called “(I’m So Fucking Glad I Live In) Canada Day”. #canada #canadian #canadaday #lucky #proud #july1 #notamerican

This year, July 1st will officially be called “(I’m So Fucking Glad I Live In) Canada Day”. #canada #canadian #canadaday #lucky #proud #july1 #notamerican

For those worried that artificial intelligence will bring about the end of mankind, real unintelligence just took the lead. #trump #worldwar3 #war #iran #israel #satire #sadbuttrue #americans #AI #artificialintelligence #donaldtrump

Green Flag: morning wood. Red Flag: mourning wood. #joke #badjoke #dating #funny #humour #humor #comedy #relationshipadvice #datingadvice

The movie Jaws was released 50 years ago. Here’s what the shark looks like today: #funny #jaws #humour #humor #joke #creepy #comedy #trivago