An uncomfortable truth I’ve discovered about myself recently is that I struggle to invest time in watching something if I don’t fancy at least one person in it.

Helped a small boy lift up a basket in Sainsburys after which he yelled 'MUM! THE LADY HELPED!' and why does a kid calling you 'the lady' age you by approximately 78 years.

The frequency with which Rita Ora appears as a clue in the NYT crossword is truly baffling to me.

Me after watching the first episode of the third season of #AJLT and wishing I never got hooked on SATC

What’ve I got to go to NOT be advertised Symprove?

The new Pope sitting down to his first meeting at the Vatican: ...so I hear you guys don't drink water over here?

Ted Lasso but he's a Pope.

Conclave but it’s a WhatsApp group of women deciding where to go for a hen do.

*blazin squad voice* see you at the conclave (conclave conclave)

Man on Married At First Sight Australia: Well obviously we've been through our ups and downs... The ups being that he made coffee for her once and the downs being that he laughed with the other men about how he doesn't find her attractive and then went on a date with one of the other wives.

Accidentally timed my journey with when Villa and Fulham fans are moving through the station and god protect the group of Q6 year old Fulham fans walking around New Street shouting “SHIT ON THE VILLA”

Keep seeing a trailer for a drama called The Feud and the opening line is “So we’re going to do it then? We’re going to get the kitchen extension?”

Why does Tom Hardy keep doing bad films?

…Are other countries as obsessed with the whole toilet thing as A Certain Group are in the UK?

Would love to grab a quick chat with whichever tv/film writer unleashed the “scared of what I feel for you” language into the world.

I’ve just seen “Dubai-style” hot cross buns and I ask you, where will this end?

Cannot fathom what kind of individual you have to be in order to put so much time and energy into actively making life difficult for a vulnerable minority of people. And to then pose for pap shots while popping prosecco?

The White Lotus series 4 won’t actually be about rich people as the hotel chain will have had to cut their rates so dramatically that it will be full of people who nabbed a 5 night break on Wowcher.

Good bless the couple in my building who patiently try to walk their cat on a lead around the courtyard every day. Mate, your cat fucking hates it.

Going to bed early because I can’t bear to see another corporate or brand April Fools social post

Why is someone saying they “have strong morals” so offputting?

When men on dating apps say they’re looking for a girl with traditional values I choose to believe they want someone who abides by ye olde lores like it’s legal to kill badgers on the third Tuesday of September in Tewkesbury.

Me when my camera is off on a call

Has anything ever been as unfunny as the M&M adverts?

Noel Clarke, what a scumbag.

Steven Graham is distractingly stacked in Adolescence

My dog when I ask her if she’s got something in her mouth:

Me: I feel depressed and anxious Also me: Going to watch the final episode of Severance, Adolescence and Gangs of London back to back 🙂

I am a complete sucker for Gangs of London

Feel truly insane when I see conversations about the "over-diagnosis of mental health conditions" because...look around. How could anyone live in this horrible little country and not be mentally unwell?

Current work situation is so 🙃 that I just caught myself framing doing the washing up as “taking a break”

Me: Gender is a construct! Also me: I will head butt the next complete stranger who calls my dog a “he.” She’s a pretty, pretty girl!

Once again I am tapping the sign and saying I don’t have a little show to watch right now

Watching Four Weddings and a Funeral to gear me up for 27 months of weddings and I am hopelessly devoted to 90s Hugh Grant

Research shows it is impossible to walk through the streets carrying a bunch of flowers and not have at least three blokes shout “ARE THOSE FOR ME?” at you.

Just doing some thinking and realised I’ve never had Dr Pepper

Went for my first run in yonks and forgot how truly dreadful it feels while you're running.

Tim from #mafsaus

Never wanted to head butt a man more! (Where all my MAFS heads at?)

Post a picture of when your pet was little. I have 217 more.

I love. This show.

At risk of making myself sound like a busybody - has anyone ever reported someone to the RSPCA? I share a wall with a guy who has a staffy and the way he screams at this dog (who barks) to shut up is horrible. Is that worth reporting? Or is it just an unfortunate fact of life?

Meant to say “busy clients” in an email but actually said “busty clients.”

Watching Crufts and yes the Jack Russell is gorgeous, but the day I pick my dog up using a slip lead and her tail is the day you can put me in jail.

…is it Crufts law that you have to wear an ugly outfit when showing a dog?

Sorry but this is the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever seen

Me and my friends would’ve killed the glambot with hammers, I’ll tell you that much

📢 if you are going to try and say your knitwear is “new without tags” on Vinted then buy a fabric shaver for the love of god

Watched the first episode of Paradise and I really did not see the final five minutes coming.

Main takeaway from the SNL documentary so far is that, looking at the audition tapes, all of the people who they chose not to cast were funnier than the people they did choose to hire.