My 6-year-old stubbed their toe and yelped, "Sh*t!" And look, I want to teach good manners, I do. But in my book that's a legit reaction.

I launched my Patreon today! You can visit it at patreon.com/Benji2049

Goodbye, #pennies youtube.com/shorts/7PDbE...

Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness #facts #dontgiveup #exercise youtube.com/shorts/Jz55F...

Well, folks, I did it. I spent all Sunday literally taking apart my dishwasher, pulling out all the hoses, cleaning the gunk out of the filters, trying to figure out why it wasn’t draining. And in the end I realized something important: I am, in fact, not a plumber.

My 6-year-old: Can I have a pencil? Me: I don’t have any pencils in my car. 6: Then why do you have a bunch of notebooks in your drawer? Me: Your logic has defeated me. You may have this pen as a trophy.

Obviously we know where I’m going #pinkponyclub youtube.com/shorts/yfahF...

All the feels, live on Reddit. www.reddit.com/r/GWNarrativ... #wkd #wkdfaerie #wkdaudios #wkdwilds #audio #eroticaudio #voiceactor #asmr

Daylight savings got me like… m.youtube.com/shorts/ddMw4...

Kids today will never understand. The ‘90s. Grbl bleh mrrggh. Best decade. Bargl blem sok pbbbbbbt

My 4-year-old: *starts sobbing because Elsa freezes solid in Frozen 2* Me: Are you serious? You’ve watched this movie 900 times. You know she’s fine. My 6-year-old: *starts sniffling uncontrollably* Me: What is happening right now?

The next instalment of Benji and I getting in the pants @benji2049.bsky.social www.reddit.com/r/Wkdaudios/...

Come listen to @wkdfaerie.bsky.social and I answer questions from you, the listeners! www.reddit.com/r/GetInMyEar...

Two episodes into the new season of Hazbin Hotel and the vibe feels slightly off. But then #Gravity showed up and slapped the sass outta my mouth.

Have you ever fallen in love with a dream? #dreams #malevoice #love #musing #lovers m.youtube.com/shorts/dY3zk...

His name is Kenmore. He’s a warforged barbarian. His dexterity, intelligence, and wisdom are -1. He just wants to clean up this town. #dungeonsanddragons

Debbie Reynolds is sexy AF in Halloweentown. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

Benji gives us two versions of this smutty smutty audio. What a guy 😉

Now live on Reddit! www.reddit.com/r/gonewildau...

New audio dropping today - in 2 versions! xoxo www.reddit.com/r/BenjisBung...

Okay, I beat Hades 2. I can go back to making audios now. Or, right after I catch up on all the sleep I've been putting off since September.

You may think you're a procrastinator. But have you ever written a 25,000 word manuscript, then stopped because you needed to watch 'Hannah & Her Sisters' for research purposes, and then just didn't do that and didn't go back to the manuscript for 9 years? I didn't think so.

People who don’t need to take time out of their Saturday to escort two extremely talkative kids with sensory issues into a smelly Chuck E. Cheese bathroom, I’m curious - what is that like? How is it? Is it good?

Jane Goodall was a beautiful human being who believed wholeheartedly in the power of knowledge, empathy, and conservation. She made it her life’s mission to make the world a better place, and I know of few who were so tireless or optimistic in the pursuit of that goal.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow #macbeth #shakespeare #death #monologue youtube.com/shorts/euKvN...

I’m sorry to all you adorable #goths out there, but I’ve never been able to get into #CorpseBride. The animation is beautiful, but it’s such a nothing story. The pacing is ponderous, the plot is poor, and the direction is indistinct. In other words, it’s a Tim Burton movie.

New Story Out! CW: infidelity, power imbalance

The next episode of Get In My Pants is in the planning! Recorded live on the GIME Discord server, submit your questions and come and listen to us answer them live this weekend Sunday 10pmEST/7pmPST. Click on the link below to submit @benji2049.bsky.social docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...

If I never write another story, I'll always consider this my crowning achievement. I'm eternally grateful to @residentmadam.bsky.social and @benji2049.bsky.social for the hard work & talented performances that brought my devilish little tale to glorious life. www.literotica.com/s/cozbi-rise...

He’s so noble. And so tall. And so emotionally unavailable. #romantasy #spicybooktok #fantasymcproblems #silly youtube.com/shorts/7-PVJ...

Episode 34 of my podcast is now live. Today, I have the honor of sharing @prettylynne23.bsky.social’s “Dreaming of You." This is a beautiful narrative about grief and a passion deferred. I play a small role as the narrator’s deceased husband, who visits her in her dreams.

Lusten to my new interview with @wkdaudios on her #GetInMyEars series. We chat about writing, smut, and navigating this spicy corner of the internet. www.reddit.com/r/GetInMyEar...

What time is it? It's Benji time again! Come listen as we catch up on his journey over the past 18 months. www.reddit.com/r/GetInMyEar... @benji2049.bsky.social

Today has been so weird. ON TIKTOK: Quinn! Hire this man! He's so sexy, so put that sex in our ears! AT HOME: DAAAAAD! WHERE ARE YOU? I POOOOOOPED!

Dear Satan… youtube.com/shorts/M0CQZ...

This morning, I DM'd an impromptu D&D game for my 4- and 6-year-old involving Neverwinter, cupcake soldiers, and a lot of Monopoly money. Afterwards, the big one went upstairs to read old Silver Surfer comics while I watched Gremlins 2 with the little one. Not a bad Sunday.

I’m not even embarrassed to admit how invested I am in Descendants 2.

I’m baffled that #AlienEarth can be so violent and yet so boring at the same time. I like the premise, the creatures, and the actors, but god almighty is this a tough sit.

I spent an hour installing a new curtain rod and curtains. Chat, I installed them 2 inches too high. I’m… I’m going to have to do this all over again tomorrow.

Honestly, more than 50% of my ambition to try standup comedy in the late 2010s was the vain hope I could meet Maria Bamford and convince her to marry me.

Just working through some #anxiety… about everything youtube.com/shorts/WxESi...

Episode 33 of my podcast is now live! I join @wkdfaerie.bsky.social for the final installment of "The A-Z of Kink." Spotify - open.spotify.com/show/3OJugF5... Apple Podcasts - podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/b... Audible - www.audible.com/podcast/Benj...

I know I’ve said it before, but the covid #Cinderella musical starring Havana-oo-na-na is so delightfully camp. You red pill chumps can whine about girlbosses all you want. This juke rules.

Thought you’d enjoy a #morningvoice #monologue. Happy #thirstythursday youtube.com/shorts/djj7v...

Good lord. I have never felt so sexy. The looks middle-aged women were throwing me as I tromped through the grocery store holding a happy bday balloon, two hula hoops, and a cake. I never would have thought these were the panty dropping accessories. It’s like unlocking the Konami code irl.

“Between each universe there is something called the Energy Grid… I have no idea what this is, but it’s what the Culture starships run on.” - Iain M. Banks explaining his sci-fi worldbuilding. This is why he’s the best.

Episode 32 of my podcast is now live! Take a walk through the dream gallery in this audio collage of poems, prose passages, and memories. #podcast #malevoice Spotify - open.spotify.com/show/3OJugF5... Apple Podcasts - podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/b... Audible - www.audible.com/podcast/Benj...

👀 is Tease Tuesday still a thing??? body by Yrsa Daley-Ward

I just spent the morning building this bookshelf and anchoring it to the wall. Now who wants to dad nap with me?