TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
@thespecpitchbot.bsky.social
đ¤ 474
đĽ 8
đ 202
#HamOnt
's first choice for headlines that could be real. (Satire)
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
The Canadian Department of Pedantry issued a reminder for Canadians today: If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.
3 months ago
0
3
3
The Canadian Department of Pedantry issued a reminder for Canadians today: If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.
3 months ago
0
3
3
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Council's decision to instruct staff to draft a maximum heat bylaw made Hamilton a national leader in 2023. Now, in 2025 Toronto is poised to be the first to cross the finish line. When asked why,
#HamOnt
city staff said "Toronto is just a better city run by better people."
7 months ago
0
8
7
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Haldimand waste hauler convicted of illegally dumping raw sewageâjudge advises owner of D&C Pumping Service to get into municipal politics if they want to be able to pollute natural waterways without consequence.
7 months ago
0
4
4
Council's decision to instruct staff to draft a maximum heat bylaw made Hamilton a national leader in 2023. Now, in 2025 Toronto is poised to be the first to cross the finish line. When asked why,
#HamOnt
city staff said "Toronto is just a better city run by better people."
7 months ago
0
8
7
Haldimand waste hauler convicted of illegally dumping raw sewageâjudge advises owner of D&C Pumping Service to get into municipal politics if they want to be able to pollute natural waterways without consequence.
7 months ago
0
4
4
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Lucy
8 months ago
Do you guys want me to do it? I love making quorum.
add a skeleton here at some point
0
4
2
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
BREAKING | Trudeau, Poilievre, & Singh announce they are forming a band named The Political Spectrum Rejects.
8 months ago
0
3
3
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
BREAKING | Even if they lose every remaining game, the Toronto Maple Leafs are safe from being the team that blew the biggest lead this week.
8 months ago
0
8
3
BREAKING | Trudeau, Poilievre, & Singh announce they are forming a band named The Political Spectrum Rejects.
8 months ago
0
3
3
BREAKING | Even if they lose every remaining game, the Toronto Maple Leafs are safe from being the team that blew the biggest lead this week.
8 months ago
0
8
3
Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre abandoned his "verb the noun" rhetoric on the campaign trail today. Instead, the lifelong politician told the crowd how much he appreciates the critiques of political pundit Steve Boots, adding that watching WTHC? is better than any cabinet meeting.
8 months ago
0
8
4
The archbishop of Toronto, Cardinal Frank Leo is headed to Rome for the conclave to elect the next Pope. If elected, Vatican experts say it is only a matter of time until maple syrup is decreed an appropriate substitute for the Eucharist.
8 months ago
1
4
2
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
After the death of Pope Francis, conservatives across Canada are expressing anger at what they call an unfair & unjust system. "It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.
8 months ago
0
14
5
After the death of Pope Francis, conservatives across Canada are expressing anger at what they call an unfair & unjust system. "It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.
8 months ago
0
14
5
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
joshua weresch: songs
about 1 year ago
Thanks for this. I await the arrival of the Hamilton Spectator.
0
1
1
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
After having a line of questioning ruled 'out of order' during public delegations regarding the 2025 budget, Clr Danko has hired 3 outside experts to assist him for future public delegations. There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.
about 1 year ago
1
10
5
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Hamilton city council looked at the rules surrounding public delegations today. Due to existing charter protections of freedom of expression citizens will continue to be allowed to delegate, but those deemed "troublemakers" may be required to do so from a pillory, at the chair's discretion.
#HamOnt
about 1 year ago
0
7
6
After having a line of questioning ruled 'out of order' during public delegations regarding the 2025 budget, Clr Danko has hired 3 outside experts to assist him for future public delegations. There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.
about 1 year ago
1
10
5
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Edith Puthie
about 1 year ago
And Council shall be given discretion to pelt said delegate with rotten vegetables if they deem it necessary.
add a skeleton here at some point
0
2
1
Hamilton city council looked at the rules surrounding public delegations today. Due to existing charter protections of freedom of expression citizens will continue to be allowed to delegate, but those deemed "troublemakers" may be required to do so from a pillory, at the chair's discretion.
#HamOnt
about 1 year ago
0
7
6
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
The average cost to rent a 1 bedroom apartment in Hamilton has fallen, ever so slightly, for the second month in a row. Prices have gone from 'wholly unaffordable', to 'virtually unaffordable', to now 'basically unaffordable'.
about 1 year ago
0
5
3
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
After Hamilton Police fatally shot a 43 year old man over the weekend one Clr took to social media to remind grieving members of a marginalized community that "Police officers don't murder people, people with badges murder people."
about 1 year ago
0
6
5
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Shortly after the popular Portuguese restaurant Wild Orchid announced on social media that it would be closing its doors for good on Dec 31st, Forge & Foster Investments released the following statement:
about 1 year ago
0
7
3
The average cost to rent a 1 bedroom apartment in Hamilton has fallen, ever so slightly, for the second month in a row. Prices have gone from 'wholly unaffordable', to 'virtually unaffordable', to now 'basically unaffordable'.
about 1 year ago
0
5
3
After Hamilton Police fatally shot a 43 year old man over the weekend one Clr took to social media to remind grieving members of a marginalized community that "Police officers don't murder people, people with badges murder people."
about 1 year ago
0
6
5
Shortly after the popular Portuguese restaurant Wild Orchid announced on social media that it would be closing its doors for good on Dec 31st, Forge & Foster Investments released the following statement:
about 1 year ago
0
7
3
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
jdavey_2
about 1 year ago
Joey and
@thespecpitchbot.bsky.social
are here! The rest will follow.
add a skeleton here at some point
0
5
1
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Tamara
about 1 year ago
Iâm working on a starter pack for
#HamOnt
. Please let me know if youâd like to be added!
go.bsky.app/2Y3sEAk
add a skeleton here at some point
35
69
31
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Edith Puthie
about 1 year ago
I'm so glad the pitchbot is here!!!
add a skeleton here at some point
0
7
1
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Kanye West & Taylor Swift, Madonna & Elton John, Cameron Kroetsch & JP Danko? A made-in
#HamOnt
feud is playing out on social media right now. While it may not end up on a BuzzFeed listicle, for some any public celebrity beef just can't be ignored.
about 1 year ago
0
6
2
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Today, after several delegates questioned her research, conclusions, logic, & decision making during yesterday's council meeting, Clr Pauls said in a statement, "The rules were you weren't going to fact check."
about 1 year ago
1
3
2
Kanye West & Taylor Swift, Madonna & Elton John, Cameron Kroetsch & JP Danko? A made-in
#HamOnt
feud is playing out on social media right now. While it may not end up on a BuzzFeed listicle, for some any public celebrity beef just can't be ignored.
about 1 year ago
0
6
2
Today, after several delegates questioned her research, conclusions, logic, & decision making during yesterday's council meeting, Clr Pauls said in a statement, "The rules were you weren't going to fact check."
about 1 year ago
1
3
2
President-elect Donald Trump says he's looking forward to 8 more years in the White Houseâ"My first term was 'President Donald Trump', this time it's 'Convicted Felon President Donal Trump', so that resets the 2-term limit."
about 1 year ago
0
1
0
Ford 'optimistic' about second Trump presidency, says Ontario and U.S. share âimportantâ rich friends.
about 1 year ago
0
3
2
Homelessness is on the rise in Ontario. While cities are struggling with Charter protections to limit where the homeless can legally exist, Ford is daring them to approach on bended knee & beg for the notwithstanding clause. Trudeau has pledged federal support by expanding MAID.
about 1 year ago
0
0
0
As a legal battle over unhoused people's right to exist comes to a head some Clrs are looking for a more final solution to the homeless question. In response to the case Clr Danko said "I don't get how anyone can support encampments", adding, "I don't support the homeless at all.
about 1 year ago
0
0
0
Read "Given expected population growth LRT should be remapped to service Barton & Tiffany", "Wearing your everyday work clothes is a lazy Halloween costume", "I never knew those were supposed to be bike lanes", & more in today's Letters to the Editor.
about 1 year ago
0
0
0
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Laura
about 1 year ago
Good thing itâs labelled satire, itâs getting harder to tell
add a skeleton here at some point
0
5
1
"More & more Ontarians are struggling to afford their groceries," the Premier said while giving a press conference about alcohol sales inside a Costco, "so my government's next step is to see alcohol available at food banks across the province!"
about 1 year ago
0
0
1
Ford announced today that his government is in talks with several payday loan outlets as the province looks to outsource distribution aspects of social assistanceâ"Vulnerable Ontarians shouldn't have to wait in line to lose 17% of their cheques; it should happen automatically."
about 1 year ago
0
1
1
Premier Ford announced today that Ontario has signed a contract with Restaurant Brands International to give Tim Hortons exclusive rights to polling stations for future provincial elections. Ford also announced that voter registration cards will be mailed with a $10 Timmies card.
about 1 year ago
0
1
1
reposted by
TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Malevolent Appendix
about 1 year ago
I'm depressed and laughing after this. Knowing that it's not outside the possibility, but also remembering that is a satire account.
0
1
1
After ONDP leader Stiles confirmed that
#HamOnt
Centre will run a candidate against MPP Jama, sources inside the party told us they have eyes on Clr Dano for the roleâ"He's the perfect fit for the party's new direction; & if he declines we hear Whitehead isn't busy these days."
about 1 year ago
1
3
1
The City of Hamilton is advising residents that all administrative offices will be closed on Monday, August 5 & available services will be severely limitedâThe city has officially named the civic holiday 'George Hamilton Cybersecurity Day'.
over 1 year ago
0
1
0
The economy saw a boost today after the federal government announced its price-fixing rebate programâthe program will allow all corporations the opportunity to exploit Canadians at the low-low cost of only 12.85¢ per Canadian exploited.
over 1 year ago
0
0
1
As Toronto experiences widespread flooding many residents are blaming Mayor Chow's rainfall taxâ"I knew it was a bad idea the moment I heard about it" says Kevin McArthur, "I can't believe our taxes paid for this!"
over 1 year ago
0
2
0
A motion to explore adding a seat to council for an Indigenous community member was defeated by a tie today. Mayor Horwath applauded the motion's ingenuityâsays she will bring an improved version to council soon, but for three law enforcement seats instead: HPS, OPP, & RCMP.
over 1 year ago
0
1
0
#OPINION
| Some of us like sprawl, it's the quintessential middle-class neighbourhood, writes Homebuilders' Association CEO Mike Collins-Williams, it's all the extra taxes we pay to cover the downtown core that we need to talk about!
over 1 year ago
0
0
0
Load more
feeds!
log in