Resisting countless urges to pick up a short guy.

"Watts going on folks?~ Feeling sparky?~ Welcome, welcome~" Oh dear, there's another Electric type streamer in town... This one's made by BadJokesLucia, so you know this will be a mess. He/him adult muse. Adult writer. MDNI.

Sylvi's making some very lewd hand gestures... She has way too much fun teasing people.

"...I want to pick up short people."

Sylvi has been preemptively censored. Her dirty jokes are bad enough, we really don't need her stripping on the TL.

"My balls are quite full and heavy today." ...Why is Sylvi carrying yoga balls full of water?

It may be #SeductiveSunday, but don't expect Sylvi to ever wear this set again. ...The ribbon keeps tickling her stomach, and being tickled makes her aggressive.

"...I'm going to pick up somebody short and [beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep] until they forget their own name." ...Goddamn-

"Of course. I always work hard." This isn't even the most intense work she's done... Though all of that is a bit of a secret.

"I'm quite bricked up today." ...She's been hired to haul bricks away from a demolition site...

"Ahem..." Tapping on a microphone... Blowing into it to make sure it works... "Testing... Testing..." Inhale... "W h o w a n t s m y n u t s i n t h e i r m o u t h ?" ...She has a big jar of trail mix cradled in her arms... And why was there so much reverb from the microphone?!

Ah... It was supposed to be that Sylvi is too good looking to skip participating in the Sunday shenanigans. Though she is too good to be skipped as well.

Right, right. #SeductiveSunday. ...She doesn't have anything clever or funny to add to this. She just knows she's too good looking to skip.

Unenthusiastic boing.

Local maid laying on floor due to boredom.

"We who live in the darkness, our songs and thirst are both for life. Painted as undead, yet we treasure life the most." Another OC by BadJokesLucia Dark topics guaranteed. Tied to lore in a friend's Pokemon verse storyline, though a great deal of wandering leads to multiverse compatibility.

Prepared to boobhat anybody short enough for it.

...Sylvi thinks she gets it now. She's just going to turn off the vibrations entirely. "Very well, the fun is over." It's just a box of pear mush now. No longer a fun, tickly ride.

"...I realize that this is not a traditional punishment, but it would be wonderful if you were at least inconvenienced by this." Let her just turn the vibrations higher...

...Well, there's also the gradual leaks of pear juice as the fruits get bruised and squished.

Aaaaand she's dropping Marina right into the box. ...Surprisingly ball-pit-like. Unpleasantly sticky and everything. "Endure your punishment, please."

Sylvi's pulling out a remote... "We will see about that." Click! ...The whole box and all of the pears inside are vibrating. If millions of tiny fruit impacts don't get her, the motion sickness will...

"'twas not a request." Oh, how forma- She's picking Marina up and dangling her over the box. Strong lady's gone crazy.

"It wiggles pears." Very helpful, Sylvi, very cool. "It tests damage during transport." More helpful, Sylvi, very cool. "Now get in. Santa seems to have forgotten to deliver everybody's coal this year, so I will enact punishments of my own." Terrifying, Sylvi, very uncool.

Oh hey Sylvi, what's up with the box? ...Oh no. "Okay everybody, time to atone for your sins. Get into the pear wiggler." WHY?!

"...How am I supposed to thirst for anime women if all of the artists are being pushed to an app that jumps to most recent posts when I open it, rather than picking up where I left off? Stop getting between me and fictional milkers, rat man."

"All I want for Christmas is [beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep]." ...She bleeped all of that herself. Is she just trying to make people's imaginations go wild?

"Have you seen my greatest inspiration and role model? Now you have."

That's true... Though both sides of her job usually require thorough planning and awareness of possible contingencies. She'll just have to keep flustering Lisa more in the future to make up for this little mistake.

On a more innocent note... Allow Sylvi to provide an example of her taste in women. ...Her taste in men actually doesn't stray too far from this example, in the grand scheme of things...

That is the effect Sylvi likes to have on people. Though she didn't entirely think things out herself this time. "Likewise. I hope we get along, Miss Flustered."

"Try not to get a nosebleed. This isn't even the most explicit thing I could show." It could get worse?!

Sylvi just needs to... Uh... Pat pat... Pat pat... Riiiiiiiight. She doesn't have any pockets right now, so no phone at the moment. She'll just type her number into Lisa's contacts instead. "You can text me later so I can add your number when I get my phone back."

...Alright, Sylvi's bored enough that she can do her more wild #SeductiveSunday after all. This is an older photo, from before she realized how much she preferred shorties... Hopefully this makes things turn more lively, even if it's just through virtue of stirring up some shocked reactions.

"...I suppose that would be alright." It's earlier than Sylvi would usually exchange numbers with somebody, but... Well, Lisa should at least be easy to fluster. She should be good for some mild amusement.

"My Saturdays and Sundays are typically free, unless a client is willing to pay my additional weekend fee." Good for Sylvi, making sure she's at least getting paid more for any disruptions to her work/life balance. "Evenings are occasionally free as well, though can be very inconsistent."

"If we have the opportunity to become friends, I will not object to doing so. But I truly hate Christmas and wholeheartedly urge you to drop the idea of ever giving me a good one." Sylvi expressing hate with a total poker face... First her road rage, now this.

"I doubt you would learn enough about me to get me a good gift in such a short time. You should save your money anyway." Sylvi doesn't mind where Lisa looks. It's all the same to her. "Spare yourself the burden of trying to bring out a Christmas miracle. You surely have better things to do."

"No, I'm not looking forward to anything. We have a Secret Santa thing at work, though none of us are ever particularly good at choosing gifts for each other. That will be the only gift I receive, so it's something of an afterthought."

"Not in the slightest." ...Oh. "I hate the tinsel and glitter that plagues my cleaning at this time of year. I would be perfectly happy with Christmas being forgotten." ...Being a Scrooge while dressed so provocatively is certainly a choice.

//All things considered, I probably am going to stick to my original plan of ditching this app altogether once my part in Bern's stuff is finally finished. Until then, just random spaghetti thrown into the void until it finds a wall to stick to.

"Hello Lisa." Sylvi probably could just cover herself back up as an act of mercy, but... That would be kind of boring. So the shirt is staying open. "How have you been?"

Staring is fine, Sylvi isn't opposed to it. Embarrassing somebody at least makes her feel like she has something to do outside of work.

"99% of the non-jackasses, then."

"The lack of jackasses is nice, but they also took the non-jackasses with them when they left."

Lisa must have a very tame imagination. Sylvi could easily surpass this if there was a valid excuse to put that effort in.

"The problem is that they may as well not exist, with how they refuse to show themselves. The utter lack of activity is the problem, not my looks."

"As a present? No. More like a defibrillator. Somebody needs to get a pulse started around here again."

//Real talk, it does feel like Bluesky has 99% died off. And y'all were hyping it up as being better than Twitter? Funny.

"Understandable. It is unfortunately unbearably quiet around here. It's easy to lose track of time when nobody is doing anything."