It is really impressive how shitty the "search" functionality in essentially all Google products is, considering that that used to their entire selling point. Search in the Gmail app just doesn't do anything, but also doesn't tell you that. Searching chrome history doesn't find anything ever.

Honestly I'd prefer it without the pictures.

No need. The frigate Brandenburg already exists. 🤷‍♂️

Whoever came up with the idea that phones should blink their camera flag as a form of notification should be forced to look directly into bright flashing LEDs for the rest of their life.

I am co-organising (with @drl3c7er.bsky.social and Lucjan Hanzlik) a workshop on Privacy-Enhancing Cryptography in Rome on May 10 as an affiliated event to IACR Eurocrypt. Submit your best PEC-work (3-page extended abstract) for presentation by February 25th: privcryptworkshop.github.io

Me, the naive dipshit: I'll just install sagemath real quick to check something. Wise Maintainers: Oh yeah, no there is no sagemath Ubuntu package anymore. M: Huh... W: But you can install it via "conda"! Much better. M: So there's an Ubuntu package for conda? W: [manic laughter]

Public transit's on strike, so I couldn't get to the office. BUT, that meant I was much closer to school when they called that I should pick up my sick kid. So... Yay for public transit strike?

I guess it's not imposter syndrome if everyone apparently agrees. 🤔

Imagine you have the following function and want to give it a good name that tells the reader what it does. What would that name be? So far the super serious contenders are "🌱" because we're planting m at position i, or "💉" because m is being injected at position i.

The ia.cr/XXXX/YYY links have stopped working, which is very unfortunate. But I don't know who's responsible for running that service.

"Vergewaltiger rechnet mit Lösung im Geschlechtsverkehr-Streit"

Liebe Medien, ich kann die Schlagzeile "Keine Einigung zwischen USA und Dänemark" nicht mehr sehen. Wenn ein Bewaffneter eine Bank stürmt, titelt ihr doch auch nicht: "Räuber und Kassiererin finden keinen Konsens über Geldübergabe." Hört auf, imperiale Aggression als normale Diplomatie zu framen.

The Bundeswehr always deploys in baker's dozens.

I'm genuinely curious what the point of this is? Citeability of the eprint version?

Any self-respecting religion should have a vesting period.

So a question for people working on subways? Construction? My daughter wants to know what these scribbles on the wall of the subway tunnel shortly before Essen Main Station, approaching from the south might mean.

So a question for people working on subways? Construction? My daughter wants to know what these scribbles on the wall of the subway tunnel shortly before Essen Main Station, approaching from the south might mean.

Pondering time's up.

Apparently Lego at some point shittified their cables. The ones from the early nineties are perfectly fine. The ones from the late nineties look like this.

I get that this is funny for obvious reasons. But it also misstates the basis for Denmark's claim. The claim's dubious for funny historical reasons, but it's not based on "a boat landing 500 years ago". It's based on settlements established over 1000 years ago on an uninhabited Island.

According to the map maintained by our robot vacuum, our shower (which it has never entered and cannot physically enter) is carpeted. And I don't know what to do with that information.

It says a lot about the US that most Americans on here seem much more concerned that their president didn't ask permission than with the fact that they just kidnapped a foreign head of state and bombed a bunch of civilians for the lulz.

Sanction the US now.

Me, obviously being ridiculous: Sometimes it would help if you told us what the problem is. The 4 year old, looking deadly serious: No.

Having your dog off leash should be punishable by getting mauled by dogs. Maybe then people would learn.

How is mince meat but mincemeat is fruit? The Brits truly should never have been allowed to have a language.

We could stop having any relevant conference in the US until the rule of law is reinstated, please.

I guess technically the EC chairs only promised that the reviews would be available (roughly) 24 hours after the first email. They never said for how long. 🤷‍♂️ My condolences to anyone who didn't immediately check.

If you want to give out swag I'll actually use/wear, the answer is always socks.

The authors are delighted to inform you that they have chosen to send a rebuttal to your review. The rebuttal to your review will be available in 24 hours.

Interested in the security of MPC implementations? Peter Scholl (@schollster.bsky.social) and I are looking for research interns to study the theory/practice gap for MPC. We can host multiple interns in Aarhus for the summer 2026. More information: mpcinthewild.github.io Help us spread the word!

Wtf is wrong with people? Why is this train full? Who takes the train on Sunday morning? Off to new adventures I guess.

The most essential part to buying anything in Denmark is pretending that you don't know what the exchange rate is.

I'm now on the 5th train of this 3 train journey.

Dear Denmark, your persistent contravention of the Schengen agreement makes me sad. Please stop making me sad.

On my way to Aarhus. We'll see what delightful adventures the rail system has in store for us today.

My thoughts on the IACR election issue (since many have asked privately): - This was an honest accident, and Moti Yung deserves being cut some slack. Yes, it’s a silly mistake, but mistakes happen. - The IACR board reacted excellently and scheduled timely follow up elections. Continued in thread

[Insert joke about these being the "strictly necessary cookies"]

First session of baking Christmas cookies ✅

Most people have an above average number of legs

Physio: In another week you'll be cleared to start running again. Make sure to start slowly. Me, thinking: Oh so an easy 5k to start. P: Like super slow. M: Okay, maybe 3k. P: 100m, 200m max. M: 😭

we need a department of kerning

That feeling when you'd convinced yourself that you found a brilliant solution to a problem only to realize that you've been ignoring the actual hard part of the problem.

Apparently a few cars need to enter the parking structure for it to be empty.

Sometimes you just have to admit that you wouldn't be any good at running a successful tradwife channel. Smells heavenly though.

He's the Pied Piper? He's going to rid New York of rats and then refuse to pay himself?

BOGESTRA: There's an accident, you need to get off the subway. Me: Ok, what now? Them: We can't be arsed to send a rail replacement bus. B: So what are the options? Them: Good news is that there's a regular bus running a similar route. M: ... B: Bad news is that they're full and won't even stop.

In the Taunus mountains north of Frankfurt we celebrated Laubmännchen on Whit Monday. One of the kids would dress up as the spring and the other would pull it through town in a handcart decorated with fresh leaves. We would then demand eggs and bacon at every house.

Mathematicians always claim to love blackboards. But what they don't want you to know is that most of those boards are green.

I'M ALLOWED TO WALK! Now to find out if I remember how.