Ain't nothing like a festival crowd There's too many people so we play too loud

Milwaukee...Milwaukee, Wisconsin...I’ve no idea, you might have to take the plane to New York, and then get, and then go to, uh, to Milwaukee from there...

DAVID: Can I take it off now? JEANINE: Why? Too hot in here?

We came like children From a far and distant land to see America And the golden sun of freedom Filtered down to us, in America

HOOKSTRATTEN: These haircuts wouldn’t pass military muster, believe me. Although I shouldn’t talk I, my hair’s getting a little shaggy too, better not get too close to you, they’ll think I’m part of the band, I am joking, of course.

IAN: This is insane. This isn’t a piece of scenery.

BOBBI: (To Nigel) You don’t talk so much - just smile and look smart. DAVID: Oh, she knows...

Wait till you feel my bite

You can rest another day Life is just a meal And you never say when Just begin again

NIGEL: No, he doesn’t know the fucking...if he knew the fucking part he’d play it, wouldn’t he?... Are you walking out? Are you walking out? DEREK: Fuck!

Just begin again Like bumblebees and hummingbirds Life is just a dream An unconscious stream

It's preying on me Diva Fever She's born to thrill me Diva Fever It's gonna kill me

JANITOR: You’re authorized. You’re musicians aren’t you? DAVID: We’ve got guitars yeah.

Try to teach you But you just won't be good You won't behave the way A big girl should

We’re in the group. We’re in the group that’s playing tonight. JANITOR: You go right straight through this door here, down the hall.... DAVID: Yeah. JANITOR: ...turn right... DAVID: Yeah. JANITOR: ...and then there’s a little jog there, about thirty feet. DEREK: A jog?

Goodbye, cloudy skies Here she comes, here she comes To cut them down to size And dry the tears in my eyes

NIGEL: Just listen for a minute.... MARTY: I’m not.... NIGEL: The sustain...listen to it...

If she's not on the five-nineteen Then I'm gonna know what sorrow means

DEREK: ...you know. Now, I mean a song like “Sex Farm”, we’re taking a sophisticated view of the idea of sex, you know, and music... MARTY: ...and put it on a farm?

In a hospital bed on the outskirts of town Lay an old gray man in a soiled white gown

Listen to what the flower people say Listen! It's getting louder every day Listen! It's like a bolt out of the blue Listen! It could be calling out for you

I love her each weekday Each velvety cheek day You know what I mean

And he looked and he saw that it was good

all the way up. You’re on ten on your guitar...where can you go from there? Where? MARTY: I don’t know... NIGEL: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is if we need that extra.. push over the cliff...you know what we do? MARTY: Put it up to eleven. NIGEL: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

And that's the Majesty of Rock The Mystery of Roll The darning of the sock The scoring of the goal

The nurse hovered near, and so did the Reaper But which had the number to his private beeper?

we are such fans of your music, and all of your records. DEREK: That’s great HOOKSTRATTEN: I am not speaking of yours personally, but the whole genre of the rock and roll... DAVID: I can understand that. DEREK: It’s a great genre.

Rock education’s a cruel business. 💷🎸

<Airport security> ASO: Excuse me, sir, do you have any metal objects in your pockets? DEREK: Yeah.

DAVID: Alright! Thank you. Thank you very much. Rock ‘n roll! Rock and roll!!! VIV: Let’s get it! Let’s get it! DAVID: This way? DEREK: No, this way.

IAN: You could fold this though. NIGEL: Well, no then it’s half the size. IAN: Not the bread, you could fold the meat. NIGEL: Yeah, but then it, then it breaks up, breaks apart like this.

DAVID: Jeanine. She’s going to come meet us. She was supposed to do this uh window layout for Neil Kite’s Boutique, but it’s not until April. NIGEL: Is she coming to drop some stuff off, you know, and then.. DAVID: No. NIGEL: ...and then go back? DAVID: No, she’s coming

IAN: Yes, I mean it’s, it’s, a it’s a kind of totemestic thing you know, but to be quite frank with you, it’s come in useful in a couple of situations. Certainly in the topsy, turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is quite often...useful. MARTY: Mhmh.

IAN: You could fold this though.

Mind the prickles, mind the dew Wash your willy when you're through

—- Spinal Tap Mark II performs Jazz Odyssey —- DAVID: You are witnesess at the new birth of Spinal Tap Mark II, hope you enjoy our new direction... ...on the bass: Derek Smalls, he wrote this.....

IAN: Okay. I’ll call you absolutely first thing in the morning. (slam phone) Ah, shit. They are not gonna release the album...because they have decided that the cover is sexist.

You've got to take tea won't you take it with me What a gay time it will be

NIGEL: Who’s that? DAVID: Jeanine. She’s going to come meet us. She was supposed to do this uh window layout for Neil Kite’s Boutique, but it’s not until April.

DAVID: You are witnesess at the new birth of Spinal Tap Mark II, hope you enjoy our new direction... ...on the bass: Derek Smalls, he wrote this.....

MARTY: You just bought it and.... NIGEL: Don’t touch it! Don’t touch it! No one...no one...no! Don’t touch it.

NIGEL: Would you... be holding this?

HOOKSTRATTEN: Spinal TAP, my mistake, I’m Lieutenant Bob Hookstratten. Welcome to the Lindberg Air Force base. This is your gentlemen’s first visit to a military facility? DEREK: Yeah...

—- Spinal Tap performs Tonight I’m Going to Rock You Tonight— DAVID: Nigel Tufnel, Lead guitar! <Spinal Tap tours Japan>

IAN: How are we going to get fourteen people in a ‘King Leisure’ bed, Tucker? SMITTY: Oh-ho-ho don’t - don’t tempt me, sir.

NIGEL: May I make a suggestion? May I make a suggestion? I’ve got one other suggestion. DAVID: Well let’s hear yours. Let’s hear your suggestion. NIGEL: Stonehenge! Stonehenge. It’s the best production value we’ve ever had on stage.

The rats ate all the presents And the reindeer ran away (Christmas with the Devil)

MARTY: Yeah, well, that’s just the vein, I mean the color of the vein, the blood is actually red..

Discipline's my middle name And no one comes back the same from Bitch School Bitch School

DEREK: No it’s not an exit. Not an exit.