i like when at the end of every TNG episode Commander Riker tells us if it really happened or if they made it all up

girl who had plans to get out of her comfort zone today but canceled them 😇💙

wiccan captain picard: mote it be so, number one

i really want to be a cool poster. but secretly, deep down, sometimes i just want to tell you the top 5 tv shows to get to know me by

i think my primary issue atm is that i'm not blonde. if i fix that, the rest should work itself out

i don't usually post on weekends. because of my metrics

i love my puppygirl gf, but every time she sees me, she gets a little too excited and throws up :( anyone dealt with this? i could use some advice. my apartment is carpeted

getting the cosmetic surgery that makes my nostrils square

tbh i don't really understand all the modern varieties of yogurt. it's all greek to me

me lately

today's easter?! [sifting through drafts] crap!! hold on... uh... um... something about the price of cadbury eggs? no wait don't scroll yet!! [nearly crying] maybe um... i saw a church sign that said "Kids' Resurrection Day". glad they're finally reanimating those poor children?? pls just hit like

catching up on Invincible, and looking forward to new episodes of From in a few weeks. big month for tv shows i think are both really excellent and fucking terrible at the same time

to train my speaking voice i play games and pretend that i'm streaming. today my imaginary viewers are learning a lot about Slay the Spire 2 strategy. [in a cisfem voice] Sunless Sea next time, chat?

just did as many pushups as i could to see where i'm at. how many did i do? never ask a lady that

sometimes my girlfriend and i just sit in the bathroom when the other is showering, so we don't have to stop yapping or hanging out

no, I'm fine. i just have to play Slay the Spire 2 all day so there's not enough time for other thoughts

i slept 8 hours last night. the last time I accomplished this feat was October 15

I really need to stop getting attached to women whose phone numbers I don't know

i don't know the name of EVERY trans woman in the area, mom. just the vampires

i am glad non-hierarchical polyamory works for others, but i personally practice competitive polyamory. all of my girlfriends are ranked on a leaderboard based on their Elo rating. a separate leaderboard tracks performance in group events using a modification of Microsoft's TrueSkill rating system

it b 2 sleepyhead girls telling each other "snork mimimimi"

"birthday cake" is not a flavor. any cake can be a birthday cake if it's given to someone for their birthday. i like cheesecake on my birthday

DID gf 🤝 ADHD gf constantly announcing what day it is today so we don't lose track

hey you :) just checking in. everything okay? your posts have been terrible recently

Can Love Really Flourish Between A Bluesky Girl And A Tumblr Girl???

what if you were a chaise and i lounged on you while watching my programs and eating pepper jack cheez-its all day

worried i miss having regular electrolysis sessions partly because a woman causes me intense pain for two hours and then praises me for how little i flinch compared to her other clients

just one more bro. i swear it'll work. one more kernel param is all you need. it's the year of linux desktop dude. just add this ONE parameter bro please!! it's so much better i promise!!!

my girlfriend is always getting handsy and objectifying me while i do yoga. it's one of the many reasons i love her 🩷

geez, relax. where i grew up, “chopped unc” is gender neutral

how is it a stereotype that trans women like magic the gathering? a good deck costs hundreds of dollars

i don't see anything wrong with fucking the text woman for texts tbh. i love getting texts :D

a lot of stuff tends to happen within book chapters. not always though! it's this uncertainty that produces the inexorable drive to read further

oomfie: i am in actual anguish me, helping: *like*

Hey gorgeous. I love the way you post. Why don't you let me buy you a pasta dinner, and we see what Saint Valentine has in store for us?

once you're over 30 you need to have a bottle of water within reach when you take a hot shower. in case you get a little woozy

i've decided to be normal for the forseeable (posting for accountability)

first date idea: you read your favorite book to me and we discuss it as we go :)

thinking i might either withdraw from all human connection into a monastic life of silent self-discipline or play Gravity Rush 2 again

sorry i haven't been interacting with you as much. my parasocial battery has been pretty low

even though i have a dishwasher, i prefer to handwash everything because i'm a climate change accelerationist

i love a lazy ass saturday. how about you?

I'm eating 3 apples a day atp. doctors won't even look me in the eye anymore

woman who refers to her two partners as her "better thirds"

dude, did you seriously just confess your feelings to me? nice job bro!! i'd love to go on a date with your confident ass

being plural is hard. all the different color hearts keep falling off the recent emojis list

young, dumb, and full of christ. ready for anything!!

my gf and i are going to start ordering food and having a little movie night once a week 🥰

you holding out on me bro? don't lie to me dude. i can smell human breast milk from a mile away