Guys... I just ate my body weight in sushi and I feel like I'm going to explode. (It was fantastic and I would absolutely recommend going if you're in the Columbus area).

Bro Ramattra's new voice lines are like, dangerously horny.

Just had one of those matches where I feel like I gotta hop off after because there's no way I'm topping that performance and I want to end on a high-note.

I haven't been very active on here lately, so why not post some engagement bait to interact with y'all a bit more? <3

Oh Domina, even if I didn't want you to [REDACTED] me until it fell off, I'd still main you. <3. Such a fun kit (and perhaps a smidge overpowered).

I'm not a gambling expert, but I would advise against betting on Disassociating Grilled Cheese to win the derby.

Listening to Phobia by Breaking Benjamin and man they really didn't miss at all on this album. 10/10, no notes.

3 and 10. Clothes are a prison and when I'm at home I'm wearing as little as possible (also this fuckass farmhouse gets to be like 80 degrees even with the AC on and I was not built for the heat).

I was out of town for a week and after getting back Ollie has not left my side. Lil man was purring and flopping so aggressively a minute ago he headbutted the ground and confused himself. 😭

There's a ref in the football game we're watching who kinda looks like John Legend, so we've just been calling him Johnny Myth.

Just checked my old Twitter account...my "Following" tab is full of posts from right-wing accounts I don't follow talking about the shooting at the WHC dinner. They aren't marked as ads and if I click "why am I seeing this?" I get an error. Musk is so fucking bad at propaganda it's almost comical.

Today on regular Jeopardy there's a dude I've played trivia with here in Columbus. Why am I suddenly knowing Jeopardy contestants lol.

Cheating on someone in general is a terrible idea from a moral standpoint, but cheating on someone who's extremely famous and will publicly drag you is another level of stupid. Half of my TL is just people threatening Klay lol.

My mom's microwave is hooked up straight to the city's power grid or something. I put some cocoa in there for 3 minutes (what I do at home), and that turned into a 15 minute cleanup and looked like Charlie blew up the chocolate factory.

Bluesky gave me the carousel update for a grand total of like 2 hours just to scare me then it went away.

I'd like to take every guy who's being extremely weird about the little girl from Pragmata and feed them through a wood chipper.

My hearing is good, my audio processing is not. You try to talk to me in a loud bar, all I'm hearing is garbled noises. Meanwhile I'm laying here and I can hear there's a problem with the fan on my neighbor's AC unit across the street.

I am not cultured enough for social media sometimes. The number of times I've thought a moot was going through it and making an obscure post, but in reality they were just song lyrics is too damn high.

Just learned about an all you can eat sushi restaurant in Columbus...

Got added to an "AI hater" list yesterday, I'm almost impressed how quickly those unlovable dorks did it.

The three teams I dislike (Giants, Commanders, and Cowboys) decided to take turns hitting me in the balls with a sledgehammer by drafting all the players from my favorite college team.

Having prehensile feet is a very valuable skill. I'm using one foot to keep pressure on a cut on the other leg so I can use my hands to eat and look at silly pictures on my phone.

The 1st round of the NFL draft is tonight at 8 EST for any of my fellow football nerds out there!

Piss Boy was going to be a temporary name on here, but I fear I've become too associated with it and it's stuck now.

*watching celebrity jeopardy* Me: "Cynthia Nixon? I don't know who that is." My mom: "You were literally in a movie with her." Well...now I feel like an asshole lol.

Increased photo quality? Great, thumbs up, right move. Getting rid of the grid view for an objectively worse carousel design that everyone seems to hate? Questionable at best. I understand wanting to differentiate from the *other* site, but maybe start with no shitty AI code instead. 💕

The amount of times I've been shook tonight over learning people's actual names from this trend. I mean I know your parents didn't actually name you Piss Boy or Poohead but Lor, Bee and RJ? !!! This is almost as bad as the night we learned @thorbee.bsky.social's government name. SHOOK.

Pro tip fellas: when you're talking hall-passes with your partner, they expect answers like Megan Fox or Sabrina Carpenter. If you say "your best friend Sarah" that shit *will* start a fight.

Trying to teach Esme that being brushed is good for her, and that no matter how much she wants to she can't eat the brush. Results are....mixed, so far.

Some weirdo tech bro hasn't added me to a block list in a hot minute, which is my sign I need to shit-talk genAI more.

Khajiit has wares if you have coin

Me cooking up the most heinous possible combination of slang terms in a text to annoy tf out of my friends.

I ate some spicy wings earlier and I am paying a heavy price.

Got absolutely steamrolled in stoner trivia because I'm an innocent lil man who doesn't know any of this stuff.

Ruh-roh. Trivia tonight is 4/20 themed so your boy is screwed.

Esme hitting the "hell they doin' o'er there?" pose.

Havent posted engagement bait in a hot minute so figured I'd drop this which I totally didnt steal Which kind of moot am i? 🌀 Friend moot 🎱 Intimidating moot ⭐️ Bestie moot 🗝️ Interesting moot 🖤 Cute moot 😼 Moot i’d interact more with 🕯️ Moot i want to talk to 🦇 Crazy moot 💌 Favorite moot 👹 Loud moot

Knives Out is a good ass movie.

I just threw the cat toy and it ricocheted off the wall and bonked Esme on the head, then she just sat there like this for a solid 10 seconds. I fear I may have destroyed one of the four remaining brain cells she had. 🥀

Parenting 101: Always try to exploit your children for profit. She probably tried to write-off the ER trip as a "business expense", too.

Well damn. With that discount I'd be crazy not to buy it. 🙄

The name your DM comes up with on the fly when you start asking the goblin you captured too many questions.

Every day on BlueSky I see someone put words together in a way that I didn't know was possible.

I've found one of the easiest ways to get someone pissed off is to just ask them why they're angry. When they say they're not, just keep insisting that they seem mad. Nearly foolproof ragebait.

When people were rude to me in middle school I would make a Mii of them, but I'd make them as janky and ugly as possible. Sure, maybe they were mean to me in algebra class, but when I went home I got to crush their Cronenberg lookin' asses in some swordfighting.

Oh, you came up with a cute nickname for me? That's crazy, we should probably make out about it.

Watching The Mummy and imo the scarabs that crawl under people's skin are waaaaay scarier than the ancient undead awakening and heralding the apocalypse. He wants to rule the world and his weakness is an educated woman with a book? Okay? We've got Republicans nowadays too.

Me only recognizing one of the dudes on the new era of "hottest celebrity" posts.