This is Clem and he’s new here so be nice

Merry Christmas to the old man in the drunk tank who said to me he won't see another one

Officially adopted! Welcome home Peppercorn and Mimi Marbles. You will always be safe, warm and loved❤️❤️❤️

I can’t wait for Halloween.

Have you been cooking vegan with me since 2002? Cool. Just updated my website so it’s more hot pink AND easier to use💕 www.theppk.com

Ready. Set. BAAAKE🍰🍰🍰 anyway I was Noel for Halloween

Baking with fresh herbs

Seeing possums out and about in Brooklyn? It’s not new, they’re native. And awesome💕

Anyone know of anything vegan to do on Halloween?

How do you get popular here if your personality isn’t great?

Love you NYC 💕

In the 90s my eyebrows disappeared into the abyss. They were never heard from again. #coldcases

As far as he knows my cat is the most important person in the world

3 hours sleep. Researching vegan eyebrow henna. Covered in root vegetable chips. Thriving.

There is no room for equivocation. We are in a time of great change, and everyone has to decide, with their full chest, which side of history they’ll be on. So what say ye. Will it be Hall, or will it be Oates?

One block of tofu is one serving of tofu.

Are you actually depressed or did you just have protein pasta for dinner?

My sister is 50 years old and my mother JUST gave her a middle name yesterday.

Dancing and farting on the roof (hopefully) alone

Bring back the cappuccino. I’m talking foam. I’m talking cinnamon.

I miss laying in bed with cramps so sometimes I just cosplay it.

Mom hittin the road dressed like a candy corn

It’s a full time job to leave I Think You Should Leave quotes on everything all day long.

“Did you cut your bangs?” No, I withdrew them into my head

Is there anywhere normal online

A sandwich is what you make it

Good morning bloosk

A 7-course vegan prix fixe! Fundraiser for a new restaurant. Come eat for a good cause. Sliding scale. www.eventbrite.com/e/boardwalk-...

You can’t skip lunch🌭

Oh you say you’re vegan? Name three essential amino acids.

I smiled once, let the record show

Wow Omaha nice.

Get yourself someone that stares at you the way your cat does while you’re peeing. But wait I am not saying that this person should stare at you while you’re peeing. Just that they should look at you like that in other moments.

My goal for this year was to read one book and now I have 8 months to just chill.

“You care about animals more than you care about people…” ummm. and?

It takes me like 45 minutes to moisturize everything and even then my problems don’t go away.

Call me ma’am one more time see what happens.

Having a small business is fun and nothing ever goes wrong! Help us raise money for this crucial AC repair and look cute doing it. www.bonfire.com/modern-love1...

It’s butterfly clip Tuesday 🦋

Grape soda with Chinese food.

Saturday and Sunday night at Modern Love Brooklyn! Pasta Primavera with a Fried E’gg!!!!

My toxic trait is I suck at making meringue.

I need a new personal style. Like the same but new.

I won’t be taking questions at this time.

Highly recommend this eye gel

Orzo was created by someone seeking revenge on risotto for being so high-maintenance.

No one gets dinner on the table anymore right? Just onto your lap.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they ruin their own lives but they can’t admit it so they keep laughing, then they do all sorts of unhinged shit and mind you they’re still laughing. I don’t know what happens next.

Sometimes I get this inescapable dread that I chose the wrong Fugazi album as my favorite

Thanks to everyone putting in the work of making White Lotus Season 3 seem vaguely interesting.