If we get out of this, The Current Global Situation would make an awesome giant Axis&Allies style game with little drone and influencer and Epstein Accused Yachts and chips and it'd make no sense and that would be the Point of the game.

hey, am you supposed to listen to the voice in your head that calls yourself "buddy"?

*finish digging grave 1...looking* Nah this is shit I hate the guy so much I'll end his life but he deserves better than this god I suck at gravedigging OK take 2. Maybe I can put tomatoes there in the spring i dunno...

I bet the first human who made a pun was just immediately murdered for being a warlock or challenging the gods.

Inside of that man are two wolves, because this is a double-barrel Wolf Gun. Now, with this semiautomatic Wolf Gun we can get anywhere from 3 to 5 wolves in a man

Hey I went to pick up dinner are we fucked or is Pop Pop needing attention?

Once a week I'm like "go to your room where YOU SHOULDN'T BE EATING and bring down the bowls" and they're "I haven't eaten anything!" And 10 minutes later I have 75 pieces of flatware i forgot we owned.

You John Wick'ed a Kryptonian's dog?? You John Wick'ed the CRAZY Kryptonians dog???

One day our children will leave our home, and it will be a sad day. But we can be heartened knowing we will then have all the bowls and spoons back.

Really not recommending getting your TMJ freaking out so all your head muscles are crushing your head while also getting a really obnoxious cold. Good News is one of the stretches is putting your hands behind your back & chin held high and thrust out, so I get to cosplay Musolini in my house.

Magic idea: conjuring things can make all kinds of stuff with the right words, a wave of a wand, and a poof of glitter. But it's always janky or weird, and a lot of times it doesn't even work at all Conjurers swear they'll get the spells right any day now, they just need more gold for research.

I'm starting to think that if you get Newsom in a one-on-one conversation you can get him to agree to anything.

*stuck in the middle of a room, unable to lift my feet* I don't think these boots were made for Walking at all! *mechanical noises from boots* AHHHH MY ACHILLES TENDONS!!

Slept in my Talking Heads shirt and, well, how did I get here?

Again, I want to reiterate to the authorities that I was not near Europe at the time and have a reliable alibi, just like any law abiding, not-stealing-chocolate mastermind thief would.

No Kings. Only Emperor Norton.

Season 5 of invincible is just gonna be 1960's Speed Racer of a picture of Mark being moved across a page by a visible hand while someone screams "fuck!" to show this is for grown ups. Meanwhile, Obama and a reanimated Orson Welles will be "Denny's waiters #1 and 2"

On a whim listened to Bowies first album and there's an alternate reality where he had a very weird fun quirky British "Mr Bowie's neighborhood".

Robot coffee machine at work: did you want a Cafe mocha? Or a chocolate latte? *eyes narrow*

Science Facts! Nikolai Tesla couldn't stand round spheres like pearls, as they reminded him of when those Terminators from the future came out of the Time Globes to kill him.

I am literally pissing myself off thinking about the first Harry Potter book where shit all happens having to be spread out for 8+ hours. It would not take 8 hours to read that. NAH HARRY LET'S TAKE ANOTHER HALF HOUR REALLY GETTING INTO WHAT YER BUYING FOR FUCKING POTIONS CLASSES HAHAA

Wow that "you can't copyright this shit" was important apparently...

Wizards that have thatch roofing. Fucking absurd. Oh we can bend time and space to our will but goddamn let's have the move work-intensive and least effective roofing in history just stupid. She got a billion dollars for this!?

Starting my new Peter Gabriel cover band Penis Angel

There has to be a category name of film for "We spent a lot of money for this monster/scuba diving/special effect mini, and we're putting every shot in, pacing be damned!" Examples: Star Trek TMP, Thunderball

I love old Bond Q moments. "This is an underwater camera, Bond. It shoots 5 pictures in a second! and this is a car that does 28 miles to the gallon! And this is a glow in the dark pen!"

This is my dream on meeting famous people. Not asking all the regular things they're known for but being like "Mr. Hamilton, I loved when you were the cop with that mustache in "The Guyver" and got mutated that was sick!!"

So what's the plan? ED-209's in every airport check-in? Cool cool.

Mullers last words were "I have...proof...he...he..." and then he passed dramatically.

How weird is 2026? I'm not entirely anti Catholic Inquisition. Like we shouldn't burn people at the stake but I get why they're asking

"'Ey dere. We're da friggin' Bahrg, an' We're gonna assimilat ya Der. Don' be tryin' da resist dere, either, it won't do ya a licka good buudy"

The Iliad is all about hot headed heroes stepping in their hubris and mysterious all-powerful jerks making plans and schemes and the occasional rant about humanity, ergo it is a 2500 year old anime. In this 45 minute essay I will ask for money

Boondoggle? Take an army of orphans, turn them into musical geniuses, make them into bands, have them fall in love with each other and then cheat with other band members while making albulms. I believe we can get at least a dozen Fleetwood Macs "Rumors"-level records out of this experiment.

I hope no one buys Facebook when it inevitably fails. Let it die.

"So how's the economy?" *watches a commercial bragging about using a credit card to buy a tent. A Tent.* "...oh. Ok."

Started Invincible, and for some reason Johnathan Banks sounds like he's doing someone else doing a Johnathan Banks impression, but they couldn't afford a REAL Johnathan Banks impersonator.

The eternal struggle--do I want Changeling in Space or Changeling in Cyberpunk?

Happy St Patrick's Day. I'm pretty sure this holiday started as some kind of "wander the streets drunk and beat up Irish people", but still have a good day.

I believe all "Giant Robot" media should include little apartments for the pilots in there. A nice little mini-kitchen and a half-bath and a cot somewhere in the chest by the plasma cannon. If you have a Megazord "I'll form the head" situation, BOOM! Now you can have a Friend's apartment sitcom too

We are gonna need, as a species, to solve the "that's a sick look/uniform/hat, we should listen to that guy" problem to really get anywhere.

Never fails. "Oh, that show sounds interesting but I just didn't want to spend the time on it. Now that...what's that? Sudden Time Travel? Well, at least I didn't waste time on that then."

Ok, what's the opinions on Mummy bites? Do I turn into a Zombie? Do i turn into a Mummy? Obviously It's gonna be infected I should check it out but like how fast? Do I need a priest for my last rites or counter spelling? Am I dying from a magical curse or just plain old sepsis?

I think we all need to take a sec and soak in the idea of Jeff Bridges looking at you, trying to figure out what you're on, and telling "no, man, it's three hours long".

Sure economists say they understand how money works, but counterpoint Sock-porium the "just silly socks" store has been open for 20 years straight.

"...And so the knights collected the Five Burning Blades of Zordomir, and then we put them in water and created an infinite steam turbine so long story short The Magic Kingdom has free electricity and we're working on cable tv..."

Just filled up the car. Can Someone please tell Hegseth his penis is just so, so huge so he can stop winning please? Or get him into 40k?

I think my favorite movie genre is the Predator/Sinners "here is a perfectly good movie set up for the first act, and then we gonna throw monsters at it"

“But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the Strait of Hormuz is open and people are having a wonderful time.”

Thanks to Hormuz, this might be the best time for "con men big into airship and zeppelins" we've had for at least a decade.

This is beautiful work.