I don't see why hypnotists bother trying to hypnotize me, when they can give me one of those bead tables doctors offices have and let me do it myself.

I need to get into CBT, just for its pure comedic potential

"No wonder you flunked out of film school, this shot choice is terrible," I say a few minutes before getting kicked out of the brainwashing chamber.

"Yes, I know watching the spinny thing is a common way to hypnotize people. But the fact remains, that you're looking inside my microwave and I'm attempting to make lunch."

Why don't we use boomerangs for hypnosis? They also go back and forth.

Ignore the fact you only ever see me green screened over a charming, whimsical cartoon background. I'm not hiding anything, nor am I trying to make you associate me with anything!!!

Resident Evil would be better if I could kiss the zombies.

Catalepsy is the worst stage hypnosis trick. You don't need hypbosis to stand on a girl, most will let you do it if you call them puppy.

If you want to make it clear that a female character is evil and has issues, have her draw her freckles on with pen. Girls who draw their freckles on are all deeply unhinged. [Signed, a girl who used to draw her freckles on]

Back in 2008, I devoted an inordinate amount of effort to download VHS rips of a porno about a guy who wants to fuck his hot elf wife, but her elf pussy is too small, so he has to go on a quest for the ultimate lube while he fucks a bunch of monster girls.

If hypnosis really is a great tool for self-improvement, why do all stage hypnotists suck at comedy?

Hypnosluts be like: Pornography? Pah, I only goon to pendulums. I've been staring at this grandfather clock so long I'm calling it daddy.

Hypnotize ANYONE (and make them eat beans)

I just saw a poster for a local performance of the Colin Mochrie stage hypnosis improv show. It literally cuts the promo photo so you can't see the hypnotist's face (just his elbow on Colin's shoulder) and the text goes out of its way to downplay the hypnosis angle. That is so funny to me.

Hypnotizing you and making you into a dumb college girl.... ....from a 50s movie. So you wear big glasses and say "golly" a lot.

Most fantasies are a combo of desire, fear, and fear of the desire.

You can imagine being hypnotized by any fictional character. It doesn't have to make sense! In fact, it is way better if the mere idea of people knowing about it makes you cringe!!

I need to pay a girl to shoot me with a tranquilizer dart.

Rita Repulsa: "Haha! Once my Ritaum enters the water supply, this whole city will be forced to start wearing diapers!!! Hahaha!!" Goldar: "Diapers? I...I thought were we taking over the city..." Rita: "Are you kink shaming me?! Maybe I should test Ritaum on you!" Goldar: "No! Diapers are fine..."

I need to update the list of beings I'm sexually attracted to

By embedding hypnotic signals in a TV show, Rita Repulsa attempts to feminize the whole city.

Overalls are great as the straps can double as floggers

Banned from the mascot horror community for including a 45 minute unskippable cutscene where my evil hypnotist gives a detailed pretalk about common hypnosis myths.

Harley Quinn reduces Gotham's crime by 50% by taping estrogen-filled needles to her hammer, meaning none of the toxic masculine villains dare get near her.

Single funniest version of this phenomenon I’ve ever seen

Somehow, Hypnosis Mic has gotten more Madoka, but less horny....

Cuck chair, but in a hypnotherapy office. Made to watch as your partner gets hypnotized and bossed around.

Jesus fucking Christ. My "control humans via electricity" post has broken containment and I'm being bombarded with messages from people who can't seem to grasp I meant it as a weird sex thing. Please, stop DM'ing me your political hot takes.

Can I lock you in a dog cage and poke you with a stick?

Settlers Of MyMan: Settlers Of Catan but for people into NTR

Force fem. But forced via surgery.

I cannot express how it feels to have my work used as an example like this.

I'm sorry sweetie, the doctor has diagnosed you with makesomethingup ...crap, I wasn't meant to read that out loud. No worries, I'll get the sedation spray.

Humans are really easy to remote control if you have the right tech. The downside is human organs really don't like electricity and doing the former requires a decent amount of it. Basically, I have the stuff. Just no one dumb enough to let me attach a car battery to them.

Ita-bag full of spiral patterns.

Want to hypnotize someone and take advantage of then. (And by take advantage, I mean force them into a Heisei Godzilla rewatch)

I would enjoy your brainwashing video more if it had a higher bitrate

No one but you can make you leave reviews at your favorite local businesses.

It is always funny seeing analog and mascot horror games attempt to emulate retro aesthetics. Most of the time it just reveals how young and ill-informed the developers are.

Sometimes when doing kink play, you'll randomly ask your partner if you're to blame for your parent's divorce.

Banned from the brainwashing chamber for criticizing the video's font choice

Bad news. I have very nerdy (and thus unsexy) opinions about a hypnosis scene from a currently popular bit of media.

Getting into doll play just so I can outsource clothes shopping to someone else.

Rating Mario game's outfits by how bad the wearer would smell after playing sports in them.

Ivy: "Harley, you can't bring the clown home with us..." Harley: "But Redddd....she's too weak to survive in the wild!!" Ivy: "One, she's a person not a dog. Two, the circus isn't "the wild"" Harley: "But look at her face, she's already imprinted on you!" Ivy: "That's just a fear response..."

We should gamify pegging

i cant get her out of my head...

Yes brain. The one dance move from this novelty single *would* be great for an induction. But you can't just think that...

Yes brain. The one dance move from this novelty single *would* be great for an induction. But you can't just think that...

Cartoons lied to me about how much I should worry about amnesia