Last Four Friday

they never cast big insane looking guys like Clancy Brown anymore. hollywood had to retire that phenotype like a jersey after he rolled through

I AM GOING TO CONSUME A SODA POP

incredible beverage

I’m struggling to think of a more annoying process than selling shoes on ebay

I’ve never been into model kits of any kind that weren’t 40K but I picked up one of these Bandai “30 Minute Fantasy” figures and now I’m hooked. theyre satisfying to assemble and remarkably posable. fairly cheap, too.

advertise your account with a person who heroically ended a cops life

what do you mean you dont like Lake Placid

the drive belt in my car has the same problem I do: too shredded.

have Mel Brooks and Lloyd Kaufman ever met each other

if i call your department and you tell me that youre going to ask chatgpt for the answer then youre fired man. what are you here for then? we can get 6 disaffected zoomers with cell phone use induced brain damage to do that.

ah, to be beautiful but horny

this body builder guy i was following on instagram put up a story where he seriously claimed he has “unlimited energy” because he doesnt jerk off

Fake mcrib made of jackfruit and beyond meat with some seasoned fries and nacho cheez to dip

John Q. Sack

about god damn time

Last Four Friday car

Tim McGraw’s subscription based fanclub is called “McGraw One+”

we have this piss and vinegar bitch ass psycho at my work who is the head of another department and she recently brought an issue over to mine but because she didnt get a response within a day she called OUR LAWYER and told him that there must be something he can do to make us get it done faster

Incredible. I overheard that his name is “Bug”

of course the guy who is directing the upcoming Street Fighter movie directed Bad Trip with Eric Andre. makes total sense. there’s an obvious through line there.

just showed wife Billy Madison for the first time. The first thing she says when it ends: “Poor the O’Doyles.”

wife just told me that when she was 6 years old she thought Bill Clinton and Crocodile Dundee were hot

some Zodiac ciphers still remain unsolved

Last Four Friday Fourth time’s the harm.

“Vegan food’s gots all them chemicals in it.”

are they gonna try and tie He-Man and this stupid fucking protein fad together?

Sam Worthington and Gael Garcia Bernal what on Earth are you doing in one of those right wing christian movies

have you considered feeding the Bluesky servers copious amounts of protein?

looking over netflix again to decide if its worth keeping after another price hike and I’m scrolling through an endless field of “new” content that looks like actual garbage refuse meant for the incinerator. how can you not feel absolute embarrassment and shame watching any of this?

A lot of people dont know this but bluesky just does not work around 5 am

They also have a “mind control” series where the album is meant to unlock your ability to do certain things better. like play golf. or fuck.

the label this is on has so many little treasures. like this ambient/electronic album credited to an actual aloe plant.

some remarkably soothing ambient to start the morning. really wish i could find this on CD

I WILL NOT WATCH THAT GODZILLA TRAILER. I AM STRONG OF WILL. I AM ENGORGED WITH METTLE AND APLOMB.

resting bitch aura

lol remember when the dilbert guy died

everyone made sure to have a protein bagel or bowl of protein cereal with their protein coffee this morning right? you need 20g of protein per hour of screentime. these ads aren’t going to look at themselves.

should be super illegal to send me this email and then tell me nothing in my area is gonna get it

wife couldnt remember an actor’s name and her hint to me was “that lefty guy from the hotel movie”

Jingle All the Way Director’s Cut

i am doing aggressive praxis: posting

caucasian jesus just made my family cancel the lunch they wanted me to drive 2 hours to have with them

i only play games that have floating Albert Einstein heads in the ads and sound like they’re narrated by the kind of New Vegas NPC I would have to kill an entire town over because I didn’t like their attitude

Last Four Friday

two employees from different departments that I almost never interact with were walking by and one asked me “Are you the one with the Tesla that has white seats?” and I said “No way. I eat when I drive. I can’t have white seats.” and the other one said “Damn, what a slob.” and walked off.

Inception but its to convince a guy to kill the president