I keep thinking I can get better, but I keep becoming stuck or falling back to where I was before. It feels like my heart aches every day now, I just feel sick all the time like a pit in my stomach. My options are running out, and I fear that the few that are left won’t help. I hate it all.

Tomodachi Life Demo came out Today apparently, and I’ve already spent 2 hours on trying to recreate Wyv. I’m still not done yet. My one complaint is that I can’t find any mirror mode options for the face paint stuff. I’m hoping they add that when the full game comes out.

Still alive, just trying to figure out how to regain the ability to draw still, but mostly just have been preoccupied with Pokopia.

It feels like a brand new low when I try to draw, and I can’t even draw my sona right anymore. Can’t even draw his face.

I was told I probably have to drop the program it if I get a C- but… idk if I can get a C or higher with everything I’ve done.

I think I've fucked myself. I've been neglecting the one class I had to do, because I was certain I'd fail the portfolio. So I lost motivation. Now I've realized that Idk if I can pass this class with a high enough grade because of this. So my GPA probably will plummet below what I need to have.

Drone’s should share data through docking. The two would stand before each other, a silent moment passes as the transfer is approved. Soon their nullges unlock, perhaps a file transfer symbol appears on their balls. They continue to rub until eventually they both return back into a nullge.

Mmmm Bowser getting zonked, but we get an internal view of a tiny drone messing with his memory banks area from M&L: BiS

A nice end to Hypnovember with a hypno collab! @daytonyeenva.bsky.social did some amazing VA on his end so go take a listen! I really think that his voice acting brought my art to life! #furryart #hypnovember #hypnosis

My AC is being a butt and currently my apt is staying at a warm 81 degrees. I realized my fan was also acting up, so I brilliantly decided to use compressed air to see if there’s dust stuck inside. Needless to say the fan works now and I’m now covered in dust.

I want to draw so badly, I keep seeing ideas, and having ideas. But I end up just sitting and staring at my desk. Because I want to try, but with how everything is going on. I know I’m not gonna be happy if I do try.

Honestly I don’t think there’s a point to this anymore. I can’t fix this. I can’t fix me.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to improve at art when it feels like everything I do rapidly degrades. Example, I think I've been doing well with heads, but not great with bodies. When I switch focus to improve, now I suddenly can't draw heads anymore. It feels like I can only be good at one aspect.

I wanted to finish a head but I'm getting too frustrated trying to make it and attach it to the body. So here's what I was making.

Internal Dialogue: "I should do art, so I can get the rust off and get better." Anxiety : "Yeah that's good." *5 Mins in* Anxiety: "I've changed my mind, I'm now going to scream and make you go insane and hate this."

Heres some horny hypno things i need to see way more of: - hypnotized reptile/dragon using his own tail to fuck his ass until he cums - hypnotized subject cumming through their underwear without touching - someone controlled and brainwashed by clothing

Now that I'm done with my portfolio I wanted to post these still lifes that I did for them.

Man I really just leave stuff around begging to be finished. Need to draw lions more, I think this was for a friend of a friend. Though I never got a name, anyhow more EYE drone stuff.

Thing I never posted of an OC idea. Kind of wanted like a ghostly demon. The ghostly effects kinda look like little green blackholes. Of course there's possession involved.

I, I passed my portfolio. I think I feel lightheaded.

I get my portfolio results today, though I have no idea what time. So I'm just stressed staring at my email every hour. I honestly just want it to be done so I can move on pass or fail.

I've got a bit more but I'll show them off later, I think I might be overwhelming peeps timelines, so I'mma stop for a bit share the rest later. But honestly doing this has helped a little with stirring up old ideas. If you all want I'd love to hear what ya liked the most to get an idea.

(June 2025) - My attempt at making a parasite idea. Rough idea was essentially alien parasites finding gym bros as hosts. Basically them shifting and disguising themselves as workout jocks in the locker rooms, siphoning IQ while they worked out.

(May 2025) - Mmmm wearing a visor and hypnotized into pole dancing~

(Mar 2025) - Eyyy Hypno Headphones, surprised I never posted this.

(Feb 2025) - A dumb joke I made with a friend turned into drawing.

(Feb 2025) - Kind of a study? Mainly just a deer archer I never drew again. I think his name was Forrest.

(Jan 2025) Wyv has a dad, his name's Levi. Yes he is as much of a big zonkable dork like Wyv. Though he's a bit extra hairy n stuff in this pic.

(Jan 2025) I don't remember who started this trend, but I got too nervous to post it. Pit fucking like this is kinda mega hot.

(May 2025) My friend was teasing me about Titansong's chroma conclave. He's a shapeshifter, basically suggested he's shift into a parasite. It was too hot not to draw.

(June 2025) Wanted to make a shark surfer bro.

(Nov 2025) - Really need to finish this one, god I just love how everything flows with this one.

Meelio the Hardstone Jewel Guard (Dec 2025) - Made for @meliodracona.bsky.social part of the whole Dragons need to be polished lore. Basically would classify dragons through gem terms Hardstone meaning guards, beasts of burden, laborers and so forth.

Big Hammer (Nov 2025) - Big Dragon Big Hammer. (Probably bigger cock.)

Biting Big Wyv (Nov 2025) - @lewdsatyr.bsky.social has some sharp teeth and decided when I got big fat pecs to chomp on them. Love Big Wyv tho~

Sssleepy Snake Naptime (Nov 2025) - Some of my favorite kinks all wrapped in one, getting coiled, tail fucked all while slumbering most likely in a deep trance.

Pup Wyv (Oct 2025) - *Woof* Need I say more.

Xan the Enforcer of the EYE (Dec 2025) - Another thing for @scalednspiralled.bsky.social that I need to finish. Basically expanding some ideas for my EYE drones. Can't thank them enough for some of these ideas def need to finish.

Marcel Showing Off (Jan 2026) - I was supposed to color and render this y'all didn't ever get to see the whole thing. Those of you who were waiting well here ya go.

Goo Demon of Possession (Jan 2026) - Mainly just got horny for a big one eyed demon. Idk why but like one eyed creatures and such just are very hot.

Worm Xan (Jan 2026) - Based on @scalednspiralled.bsky.social post. bsky.app/profile/scal... Never got around to finishing it because of portfolio stuff, it criminally lacks any zonked faces.

Werewire Wyv (Mid 2025) - I think I made this around when Deltarune Ch. 3-4 were making the rounds and brining up Werewires again. Old Wyv design is present here, its technically finished idk if I wanted to color or not.

Too many ideas to draw, feel like I keep ping ponging between ideas. So none of them get enough attention to become something refined. So I'm just gonna send off ideas with WIPs that I've started but never finished spanning from 2025 - Now See which one gets the most interest.

Days feel like they're going too fast and blending together, I feel like it's starting to get harder to remember anything. But I guess doing a lot of nothing and being quiet causes that. It feels odd, going from everything feeling like it can go right, to feeling like I'm falling.

Thinking about the Tiki Tak Tribe in DK Country Returns. Having one of them seek out a big strong guy in the jungle, him falling under their spell. But a twist being the big guy becomes their zonked vessel. The tiki being worn as a mask. The zonked guy’s body no longer theirs, only a puppet.

Idk how people take long breaks from drawings and then hit the ground running again in a matter of days. I keep thinking that if I keep trying eventually some of this will start to feel normal again, but it honestly feels so foreign to me still. Like dumped into and emptied the recycling bin.

It’s cake and ballon day for me, reaching that level 24. Feels odd another year has gone by so quickly.

Feel like I’ve been staring at my canvas like this a lot. I think I’ve forgotten how to draw bodies and anatomy again.

Ugh, the rust is thick. Wrist pain from not drawing for a while sucks.

I’ve been playing a lot of FFVII Rebirth for the first time. And I’m just like, man I wanna get tfed and hypnoed into being a big anthro racing Chocobo. All decked out with a saddle and reigns. Something I need to draw and work on~