Red Bull really out there doing anything but make an energy drink that isn't terrible.

oh my god

Opening someone's Snapchat story is like playing the lottery, it's almost impossible you're going to see anything you care about.

I think killing people is bad actually

who up dating they résumé?

We know, let us rot in peace.

Everyone on this site thinks they discovered the concept of reading books and it is now their sacred duty to share that with the world.

Dude, not again.

TIL some people are spending upwards of $6 on coffee per DAY?? Is it made of GOLD? Black printer ink?? Does it suck you off?

Me: My Ear: I will now generate immense heat for no reason.

Bluesky took my checkmark :(

Everyone wants everything to happen once a week but I'm more of a once of month kind of mf.

A 3D model of myself with 10,000 polygons, 9,950 of which are for my cock and balls.

This is crazy, like that frog on the invisible motorbike.

This service really is delightful, I just select food from a screen and they dispatch a peon to go fetch it for me.

Feels so weird using the Keurig in the morning, forcing a little robot to piss in a cup for me.

Give a man a sink, and he'll clean for a day. Teach a man to sink, and he'll probably drown.

If I get Twitch Partner before 2026 I'll let my discord pick my fit for the end of year stream.

A_N_I_V DID NOTHING WRONG #freeAniv

Going to start using the public bus so I can understand SMB speedrun videos.

Yeah man this is like my eighth rodeo. I'm just really stupid

The categories are all like "Best Game Based on a Dream I Had when I was 7" www.youtube.com/@TGAGWCAGA

I've just found the OLED dark mode and my bluesky experience has improved dramatically.

We should take down Big Word. Nobody will have to speak anymore; we'll just know.

If #Balatro wins #GOTY I will buy the game and 100% it on stream.

an octopus and squid are similar but very different, for example one is a little bitch

Nice to know that my posts here perform like shit on their own merits rather than being suppressed by an algorithm.

Can someone explain why I have to pay $2 to ask corporations to stop mailing me garbage?

Whoa, 20? I can't even count that high with all of my fingers and most of my toes.

I definitely profile anyone with a .com in their @. How am I meant to trust you when you self ID as a commercial entity?

This is the most intense game of Splatoon I've ever seen

Tomorrow they will stop flooding my computer and mailbox with political ads and my chains will be broken

Texting someone a PDF is the same vibes as carpeting a kitchen.

Little gremlin in my head telling me that if I come of with a banger, I'm only allowed to post it on one website or else I'm a fraud and the voices will claim my soul.

Picking my 1st 10 likes is nerve wracking. What if the algorithm thinks I'm weird??

Not me finally buying that domain I've been thinking about for months to make my BlueSky handle look cleaner.

Interests: Minecraft Mario Party An egg, but you crack it open, and all that's inside is fear of the unknown Quilting A void that is endless and unfeeling on the surface but secretly thinks you're kind of cute One Piece A void that actually just cannot fucking stand you Using exactly 300 characters.

If I am elected president, I will bring us back to an America where lemonade kills people as God intended. 🇺🇲🇺🇲🦅🍋☠️

Me looking at keycaps on etsy.

Kinda fucked that you can't see the posts of someone who's blocked you. They should change that.

Devini15