Every so often watching #Eurovision, I'm worried Victoria Swarovski is going to mate with me and eat my head.

Disappointing that even the Grauniad is covering today's protest / counterprotest in London with endless shots of the fash with their banners flying high. It makes the fash look good, which is generally one of the fash's strong points. But they're fash. The Graun is opposed to fash… right…?

When they tell you to practice painting hands more often, but all your brain wants to paint is dogs. #canine #creature

Over one million citizens signed the ECI petition to ban conversion practices. We hear you. ✋🏼These interventions must end. Being LGBTIQ+ doesn’t need to be cured. Your rights are an inseparable part of a true Union of Equality. We won’t let you down.🏳️‍🌈 ➡️https://link.europa.eu/PmbyM4

Compared to the size of a human in a bed, a dog's paws stepping across the bed are relatively small. Why do they have such an unerring targeting instinct for the human testicles? #stomp

I love Kim Stanley Robinson's "Mars" trilogy. Always have. Always will. Not blind to its faults, but some of the things others hate are exactly what I most love. Twenty-seven pages of someone's stream of consciousness including the word "phreatophytic"? A timeless indulgent pleasure.

Finding a paperback of Buster Wilde on someone's coffee table and rediscovering its wit and charm all over again. Even a few jokes I didn't get before! (oh god help me Buster is nearly 30 years old, i can feel my fur turning grey)

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah! FUCK YEAH!

My precious, precioussss little pilot's logbook now records 32 flights comprising a munificent 5 hours in the air. Miniscule figures, but all mine. I hoard and gloat over them like a kobold sitting on four shillings and a bottlecap.

Damn, I'm on the train to England for tasks there, and the weather in Belgium looks *gorgeous* for gliding. Big boisterous cumulus clouds all over the place. Looks like I chose the wrong week to quit getting high.

Insomniac reminding self about Kylie Minogue because what else is there to do. Fuck me, did we actually LIKE this drivel? Fucking Bananarama was better than Kylie and they didn't even care.

Nolan's new film "The Odyssey" is going to have an Argos scene and I'm not sure I can take that.

I should probably write in my living will that you should confirm my death with the usual checks of heartbeat, blink reflex, etcetera, but if I don't giggle at a Uranus joke then you *really* know I'm dead.

Nice work by @confuzzled.org.uk on shielding their safe spaces for queer, kink and minority people. I'm not an expert on how to do it right, but I've seen a lot of doing it wrong and Confuzzled is not doing it wrong.

If one in a thousand of your customers are confirmed and documented shoplifters, then "99.98% accurate" facial recognition means that about one in five of the people you accost, accuse, and throw out of your shop will be innocent. www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

This is the designed weak link in a glider winch launch cable. It lets go if the launch forces are becoming unsafe. This one has a breaking strain of about one tonne. That was an interesting couple of minutes.

I love you, THE DOG. I even love you enough to put up with your habit of walking in from your visiting Human's room in the morning, lying down by my bed, and farting. But goddamn.

To look at THE DOG, vast as he is, you'd think he's indestructible and imperturbable. But now, with a storm blowing through, he's come to my room (the most sheltered in the house) to sit and be squeezed between my knees until the storm is done. I feel very privileged and trusted.

The German civil aviation authority Luftsicherheit were here inspecting our flight operations this morning and I ate the figurative Swiss cheese right in front of them. Their response was, frankly, exemplary. What a sound bunch of people.

THE DOG should not look so happy in such thoroughly unsatisfactory sailplane flying weather, but he is happy anyway because he is THE DOG and knows he is loved.

This time last year: Oh my god, just look at this fabulous summer weather! It's so bright and warm and calm! There's literally not a cloud in the sky! Nowadays: Temperature inversion. Bugger.

waking up early in a completely unreasonable state of stress from critique I received on the airfield that I felt was unfairly aimed and delivered but which I didn't have the nerve and quickness of mind to rebut in my second language so I just swallowed it

My longest flight yet, 57 minutes! In radiantly beautiful summer weather. Some help from the flight instructor to get some initial height in wobbly thermals, but I'm handling ever more of it on my own. Every so often I still get 'wow' moments where I realise, no, this is real, I'm learning to fly.

I watched an Infowars video yesterday (for reasons) and I've just sat upright realising what it reminded me of: the screeching incoherent indoctrination scene in "Zoolander".

I miss Customer Service Wolf. Customer Service Wolf was one of those wonderful comics that felt like it ended too soon, though actually I see it went for nearly five years. customerservicewolf.com

THREAD: The IEA global energy review 2026 * CO2 record high, but growth nearly ground to halt * Clean energy shaved 3bn tonnes off CO2 * Fossil-fuel power pushed into reverse * Age of Electricity "confirmed" * "Extraordinary" solar growth * Batteries up 40% * EVs up 20% 1/10

Spoke with our neighbour. He's adopted a squared-off haircut and short beard which makes him look not entirely unlike Hugh Jackman as Wolverine.

Yay, my security check went through. Nontrivial when it involves background checks in three countries. The Germans took three weeks; the Brits took eight; the Swiss turned everything around in five days. Anyway, this means I can fly with the club that flies out of a nearby military airfield.

"Was"? I have an idle habit of checking the German supermarket glossies for Meghan. She's ALWAYS there and they're ALWAYS making some horrible innuendo about her. A constant drip of hate into the ears of millions.

Oh great, now Gmail has switched on AI suggestions for me. I hate them — every single one is wrong, they shoehorn idiosyncratic prose into the deathly trammels of a soulless uniformity. THANK YOU NO I HAVE BEEN USING THIS LANGUAGE FOR A WHILE NOW

Oh come on, Google. First you disable a gamertag you yourself generated, because it's "hateful". And now you've censored that review I wrote for a birdwatching venue, presumably because it mentions tits?

Aviation brings SO much to learn and SO many mistakes to make, and the mistakes are SO public and SO commonplace, that this is palpably helping with my neurotic aversion to inconveniencing people or looking silly in front of them.

Artemis II and a dictator out in Hungary within three days of each other, I'm not sure I can deal with this onslaught of non-ghastly news

I may have encountered longer words in #German #aviation, but "Flugzeugeigensinkgeschwindigkeit" is today's champion. It means "Flight thing self descent speediness". Glad we cleared that up.

Suddenly I feel particularly glad I rescued all my Amazon e-books into a format I control and got the hell out of the swivel-eyed bald billionaire megalomaniac book ecosystem. www.bbc.com/news/article...

Turns out there is a reason, and it's "I got too fat over the winter". I'm over the weight limit for the old training glider at this airfield. It is STARVE WOLF TIME.

On the other hand, why *not* take the day to go flying?

I never cease to marvel at the fractally shitty engineering of Telegram. Just an endless litany of bugs. I was just in a video meeting on Telegram (someone insisted) and we had one participant who turned out to be listening in while not showing up in the meeting list. Major privacy WTF.

Speaking as someone who has been and occasionally still is a dick, cunt, cloaca, hectocotylus, aedeagus, and pretty much every other conceivable sexual organ to other people in my tenure both online and off: I still find myself surprised by how much more fun it is to NOT be horrible to people.

Happy Easter! Remember, an egg laid by a bunny is not something natural to eat, and if someone who's been dead three days comes back to life then hammer a stake through 'em quick.

I approve of NASA painting their rockets a reddish colour.

"Progress on human rights in Israel: Palestinians will now be sentenced to death before they are killed."

Landing a glider is like trying to skim your arse across the grass of two football fields at 50 mph while balancing a spinning plate on a pole.

Spent all day at the airfield and I am *knackered*. Only got hurled into the sky once as a practice launch, because the weather wasn't good for gliding, but there it was: my first formal flying lesson. Up, circle, down. Three wildly hectic minutes. Man, flying is complicated!

I think it's long past time we create a Council on Neurotypicals to figure out what's going on with them and make sure they get appropriate treatment. (Obviously this council will be neurodivergents only)

If you see this, post a wolf *to me*. (Airholes in the packaging recommended.)

Look at this stoat. Look at it's shape. Look at it's perfect pink nose.

Going round the local Asda supermarket with my big brother. Serially shocked by how much each food item costs in the UK.