Woke baby up from nap and he is not happy

Ive been sketching and doodling both physically and digitally the past two days and... I think I might just teach myself to draw now by maybe doodling something every day.

I know I'm not an artist, but I decided to doodle this morning an idea I had for a Vtuber. Will I go through with it? Eh

My Product Owner is leaving today, we had a 1:1 call today as a goodbye and I thanked him for being one of the first people to adopt using my pronouns.

Considering my friends who convinced me to get into Warhammer, telling me that they'd play it, have only played it once in almost 2 years... I think I'm just going to sell my shit next year.

Accidentally took extra medication yesterday and it was not a good experience. It was the worst I ever felt mentally. Worse than when I was tripping on CBD. I never want to feel like that again.

Today is the last day that you can repost this image

Can I please end this year, which only has less than 2 days left without visceral thoughts of self harm and my own death. I laid in bed for 2 hours paralyzed by my thoughts and I feel like I'm fucking choking on air right now.

It's 4 AM, going on 22 hours no sleep and I just speed cleaned part of my apartment. Upping the dosage on my medicine may have given me too much energy, time to shift to taking it during the day lol.

Hes been like this for an hour

So because Im missing my teeth but want to continue streaming Im probably going to use a VTuber avatar. At first I was thinking of just a temporary throw away one. But then my mind went "Hey but what if..." And then rattled off a bunch of ideas I've been thinking of for a year.

What kind of MONSTER just eats the top of the cupcake and puts it back in the fridge.

Doctor increased my Spirolactone this week and one of the side effects is supposed to be reduced sex drive. Yeah... have I ever mentioned that sometimes medicine has the opposite effect on me.

Christmas hasn't felt like Christmas for me in years. Im never happy and if anything I just feel more depressed.

bro wasted 15 minutes and could have used his own guide 😔 #raynarvaezjr | #twitch

If this is true it seems no matter what country the VA is from they wind up being slaves one way or another. You are either expected to just comply and be grateful for the opportunity while being treated like shit, or forced to work despite your health.

Merry Christmas from Japan! 日本からメリークリスマス！！

They fucked up my teeth so much it hurts to fucking breathe.

Fuck this goddamn year

Insurance sent me a bill for what they wont cover at Aspen so I have to pay another 700. And then I have to pay a 200 bill for one of my doctors.

The dentist that fucked up my bridge has not returned my calls today 🙃

My aunt had me edit a video for her, and while it was just placing audio, looping it, filtering out some noise, etc. I didn't hate it. I actually enjoyed the video and audio editing process, and it made my brain go "Oh what if I did this, or could do that?"

Two TTRPG books came recently that I had pre-ordered a while back. Cant wait for these to sit on a shelf forever.

Sooooo you know those new teeth I paid over 4000 for less than two weeks ago. Yeah so my bridge has fallen out and there is a hole in one of the teeth.

I commented on a video yesterday but gamers have a habit of caving in and just accepting the argument "Well everyone does it/You dont have to use it" Cosmetic DLC and microtransactions in general. Paying for online(Xbox, Nintendo, playstation) Lootboxes Battlepasses And now Gen AI

"they don't know how to express the idea" here's rian johnson's storyboard for knives out pick up a pencil and a napkin

So can I sell mine and get over $150,000. I dont plan on really using the functionality.

I hate winter

Forgot to take my medicine 3 days last week and went back to taking it the past two days. Had horrible anxiety ever since I woke up and have just rotted in bed for 2 hours because I feel sick. Either skipping my medicine was a mistake OR the medicine is making things worse again 🙃

This weekend I plan on trying to have a conversation with my mother about telling her to use my correct pronouns. Shes known for over a year I dont use He/Him and I had the grace to wait until after my grandmother died as I haven't said anything.

Adding to this, the idea that concept art is some sort of tedium you can cut corners on is genuinely insulting. Concept art is the bedrock to a setting's entire visual identity, and cutting corners on it is akin to shooting yourself in the foot to win a race.

sigh

GM'D a second game of Shadowrun and my players are already paranoid. Used someone with the same name as someone they almost killed and pissed off and had them thinking they were going to fight the mob.

It sucks that I like this outfit on me but it triggers my anxiety due to how overstimulating the textures are. This is how I want to dress half the time.

Gross

Zeztz plasma form hell yeah

So watched the epilogue of MHA where it talks about what each character went on to do and feel that it really adds to the ending.

It was going to snow the rest of the day so I went out to get Pizza for tonight. Was going to make room in the fridge and turned around to find Fidget taking a nap on the boxes.

If only I could draw

he’s so hot oh my fucking god

HE’S HERE… and he’s gone 😀 #raynarvaezjr | #twitch

The Expedition 33 Awards was okay, but the highlight is MY BOY IS ALIVE.

MY BOY IS ALIVE.

This is like paying the guys that robbed your house to also burn it down.