Wait. Did Jeff Arcuri lie to me? The nerve of that guy. When I get ahold of him, I'm going to politely heckle him once or twice at an appropriate moment during audience work in-between his prepared sets so he knows I'm on to him and he can't get away with it.

The massive mobilization of @bsky.app blocking by people against the White House account is likely the largest public application of lessons learned from the apocryphal Nazi Bar Parable we've ever seen. Our old favorite bar got turned into a nazi bar because everyone was too polite. Not this one.

The Dumbbell Nebula is named for always being like, "Bro, do you even lift?" to other nebulas.

Please oh god let it be the last son of krypton. We could really use one of those right now. Oh, oh no... it's going right past us isn't it?! THAT'S NOT KANSAS OH COME ON... ARE YOU SERIOUS, CLARK!?

The older I get the more I realize the pinnacle of the Internet was the geocities era. We tried to fix what wasn’t broken and have paid a terrible terrible price. Democracy itself.

Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness

Seeing a lot of folks calling the White House the people’s house. While that’s nominally true it’s really more like the people‘s summer house. The Capitol Building is the full time residence of the people.

Me: yeah and also Whole Foods is the cheap supermarket now Guy who just came out of a coma: holy shit. What else Me: ok do you know what a toten kopf is Guy who just came out of a coma: no Me: don’t get too comfortable

Space Jam remake looks lit.

My #HotTake in life is that Catcher in the Rye is not as good as people think it is. I did not enjoy it. I will die on this hill. But, the greatest clapback of all time (Of all time!) is to call someone a phony or a bunch of phonies. There is simply no coming back from that level of disrespect.

The best part about the unitary executive theory is that the president doesn’t even have to wait. It lets the president do it. The president can do anything, even grab'em by the DOJ. via @motherjones.com

Time for Adelita Grijalva to just show up and start fulfilling her role. Make Speaker Johnson take action against her because if he has time and ability to act against her he has the time and ability to swear her in. I'm sure another Congressional rep or caucus can make room for a desk.

This has driven me nuts for two years. If you ever doubted that Musk has never had an original idea in his life see Twitter's X logo. It's basically a copy pasta of the X Foundation's logo (For the non-nerds, X.org has provided important open source software for over 20 years) #typography

Point of order. The parliamentarian has previously stated that no such proposal to the floor can be made without also invoking the need for new Creepshow stories. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Nobody adds a ballroom to a house they plan on leaving.

I’m by no means the first to call for a national strike as a follow up to @indivisible.org #nokings, but the more I think about it the more sense it makes. Marching on a Saturday is a display of power. Marching et al on weekdays is a use of power.

Ah, I see The Donny has begun construction on the new Gog and Magog wing of the White House right on schedule.

"ANIMAL HAS THOSE LARRY ELLISON DOLLARS. YOU IN ANIMAL’S WORLD NOW.”

Invasive thought: Chipped beef on toast, more commonly referred to as shit on a shingle, is like the white people over 50 equivalent of durian. Seriously, I haven't eaten or even seen chipped beef on toast in over 30 years. Why? Just... why?!

Happy Monday!

It's funny, the no kings protests could be the best chace to normalize the idea of nationwide strikes in the US, if the organizers are serious. They do maybe 2 more on weekends to really lock them into people's practice, then say, "hey, let's show them we really mean business & do it on a Wednesday"

Goodnight, Bluesky.

folks can complain about the effectiveness of scheduled orderly mass protest but to think about it another way its the closest thing we have to the opening scene of A Muppet Christmas Carol where all the muppets sing "there goes Mr. Dipshit, there goes Mr. Ass" to Scrooge and it clearly bothered him

This is juicy. This could roil the cooking world. Are we going to call this Pear-Gate? The Trouble with Trifles! *cover photo of Captain Kirk in a giant pile of pears*

Badass.

At times like these it’s always important to nourish ourselves with the wisdom of those who have come before us, and greatly contributed to our intellectual and moral life, even when some of their most well known attributions are somewhat apocryphal.

This is cool as hell (or should that be cool as heavens?)

Every day hard working journalists at the Times covering American political discourse madly inputing anything they can think of into Yahoo! search because their employer's journalist standards forbid the use of Urban Dictionary euphemisms.

In another 1188 days, 20 hours, 59 minutes, and 38 seconds of this administration, we won't have anything left of The New York Times style guide.

Ok, good game everyone! Coach is really proud of all the hustle shown out there today. Now let's take that energy with us to the next week, and the next week, and the week after that... all the way to a new representative democracy with liberty and justice for all. #nokings

The potato people have been awoken, behold their terrible wrath! #nokings

After this lovefest there's gonna be a baby boom in nine months. Get a room, you crazy kids! #nokings

Wicked awesome.

❣️🐸❣️

Look'dem yinzers all nice tahrd up, just to get nebby 'bout that jagoff dahn DC. #nokings

If the Irish think you're a tyrant you need to take a good look at yourself in a mirror while reconsidering your life choices because you are, in fact, a tyrant. The people of Hibernia are basically Ex cathedra when speaking on this subject.

Babe, wake up. New Pastor Bae Meme template just dropped.

HAPPENING NOW: A MASSIVE crowd of protesters flood the streets of San Diego for a “No Kings Day” rally showing their love for America and standing up against the corrupt fascist Trump administration. look how huge it is

No Kings-Chicago, IL

Boston. Wow.

A www.realrentduwamish.org offering plate will be passed around half-way through the protest right after land acknowledgement, but before the Passing of the Peace. Seriously though, take a moment to support federal recognition of the Duwamish tribe and consider financial support to them.

More from Seattle #nokingsseattle

Philadelphia is what Democracy Looks Like. Thank You @nbcphiladelphia.com @indivisiblepa.bsky.social @indivisible.org @maddow.msnbc.com #IndivisiblePA

Based Philly built different.

Fun fact for #nokings. To severe allegiance to the King of England, the Episcopal Church's 1st American Bishop was consecrated by the Scottish Episcopal Church, which did not require an oath to the British Crown for Apostolic Succession (fancy word for authority that traces back to Christ).

Shinra believes that these so-called No Kings rallies are funded by the terrorist group AVALANCHE...

You guys, I think we missed a real opportunity to call it No Kings Day the II. Let's really lean in and call the next one No Kings Day the III. I should have my Battletoad costume done by then. #nokings

Also, super interesting how involved the Black Panther Party was in supporting Sickle Cell Anemia research through screening clinics.

You know what? I did not have Portlandia - Battletoads crossover on this year’s bingo card, and I feel like I should have anticipated this given recent history‘s need for real life superheroes.

WHAT STORY!? To the @spl.org magazine & newspaper portal! Well how about that, TIL about BPP significant health advocacy. Frierson, Jannie C. "The Black Panther Party and the Fight for Health Equity." Journal of Health Care for the Poor and Underserved 31, no. 4 (11, 2020): 1520-1529.