Me: Can I have one of these ice cream cones? 5 y/o, eating a mint ice cream cone: Yes, but there's no mint left, and if there is, can you save it for me?

A while back I got to ask a falsely pious opposing party in a family law case if he could tell me what the ten commandments were, after he had testified that following the ten commandments was extremely important to how he wanted to raise a child. He, of course, could not, and said "Can you?"

Does anyone else think it's stupid to refer to celebrities by their fake names in media reports about them?

"Stupid is as stupid does" is not only a defense to an accusation, but a devastating insult, not likely to be understood by the target.

In Disney's "Moana 2" we encounter the theme of self sacrifice, as a sentient coconut takes an ostensibly suicidal action in order to preserve the lives of his coconut brethren. The choice would also doom Moana and her travelling companions, but is presented as honorable nevertheless.

As seen on Facebook marketplace. I don't believe this is real.

Checking in from Western Maryland

If Trump accidentally supports a single payer health care system and people oppose it I'm going to be quite miffed!

#ChicagoPope "These are my wieners given for you; do this in remembrance of me." Leo XIV

Health inspector trigger warning: I sustained a wound for this banana bread.

Catholics: what if the Pope said don't vote for Trump? Who ya got?

The significance of an American Pope cannot be overstated. This easily replaces the resurrection as the most important event in Christian theology.

People should mock the Papacy more, actually.

As the new Pope Leo is celebrated, let us remember that right now, somewhere, there is an ongoing abuse ring being perpetrated by the blessed Church that will come to light some years from now, and everyone will be shocked.

White people taco night

Can you imagine if Trump could pardon federal crimes AND sins?

If Trump wasn't such a wimp he would post a picture of himself as Mohammad. He won't. He's shook.

I'm psychic but I already know you won't believe me.

Deutsch ist die schönste Sprache der Welt.

I think Trump may be trolling his Christian supporters by seeing how many prophecies of the Anti-Christ he can directly fulfill before they start getting nervous... Become the pope... start insisting people use his money....

All the hype is on AI and Quantum Computing, but I think people are sleeping on Suave's QuenchLock(TM) technology for hydrated, healthy looking hair.

Popsicles, the Greek god of frozen treats.

Is there a new pope yet? #Schism2025

Constitution be damned, if Trump 2028 happens, the showdown between him and Obama 2028 would be quite the event.

How I arrived on Bluesky

POPE DIED!

How exactly does a historic house join a resistance?

I think the Dali Lama should choose the next Pope and vice versa.

Take these Fudge Stripe cookies away from me, for I don't want to taste their poison.

Finding poop in the baby's diaper

I think Checkers/Rally's should try to keep it a secret that they're the same place. It unnerves me that they advertise them together, but then you're either going to a "Checkers" or a "Rally's"

Breaking: Study proves that funniest time to execute April Fools prank on wife is before the kids get off to school on April 2.

Why don't we eat more turkey eggs?

Haven't been fooled even once yet.

I propose that we all have a "Suggestibilibuddy" to prevent us from being too suggestible. Any time a person considers adopting a political viewpoint, they have to explain it to their "suggestibilibuddy," who can tell you if it sounds like bullshit. This would solve many problems.

Why is it legal for car dealerships to set prices based on how stupid they think you are?

They call kidnapping and deporting someone for a political statement "commonsense security" on the same day that we get a glimpse at the highest levels of the highest levels of our government using 🙏 prepping for an international war crime because they accidentally shared it.

#DavidKurtz #Trump #Judiciary #DOJ

Breaking: The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) will distribute the money it has saved taxpayers by sending a $6942.00 check to anyone with a net worth of greater than $10m, which they can choose to infuse into any startup they want, with a full tax deduction.

The EEOC has sent letters to large law firms that have been praised for their inclusive hiring policies, implying that those policies are actually, in fact, discrimination. In this bizarro world, real discrimination is going to be rampant. www.eeoc.gov/newsroom/eeo...

Get on your enemy's computer or phone and open up a bunch of tabs about practical solutions to memory loss and searches for "what to do if I'm experiencing dramatic premature memory loss." Watch as they question their sanity.

NEW: Why trying to understand what the Trump admin did in response to the TRO matters. Planes were in the air. They kept going. What did they do, and why? I strongly believe that it matters for our future that we work to understand what is happening at times like this. Tonight, at Law Dork:

An LA jury needed less than 3 hours to clear Disney’s Buena Vista unit of copyright infringement—so why did it take 5 years and millions in legal fees to get there? With another no-access verdict in the books, it’s time for a more efficient approach. copyrightlately.com/moana-verdic...

5 y/o daughter told me she asked a Pre-K classmate, who said that she had already seen the movie, whether or not Moana dies in Moana 2.

Stop shutting down the government or we will SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT!!

My favorite microwave popcorn is Orville Redumbmmcher.

If anyone knows any wealthy children looking for an attorney to advocate for them on matters with their parents, such as extra snacks, getting to go first, or picking up later, I'm their man.

I'm gonna hire 3 members of a barbershop quartet to come to my funeral and act like I've been a part of their group for years to confuse anyone who dares to come pay me their respects.