you gaslight me imma light you on fire

So I need to make these again

What do you mean by this!?

All the gorgeous women on here complimenting me 🥹 >>>

I hate when the joke goes over MY head, lol. Im supposed to be a professional gotdammit, but playas fuck up.

Again, why when I use Voice Command and say, “Harry Potter,” it doesn’t work, but “‘Arry Pottah!” it works

That man is why you don’t give ugly men (inside and out) a chance. EEEYUCK!!

I’m ready to step into a new life. Ready to become the next version of myself.

2026 Lauren is not going to be as available or sweet

Random pet peeve: When someone wants to request a favor and instead of outright asking, they’ll go, “Do you wanna do [blank] for me?” Am I willing and do I want to will likely get two very different answers.

Why did I almost slip on a banana peel in the parking lot the other day? 😂😂 those cartoons weren’t lying

Still not over the barfly woman last year who was so excited about her “new boo” that went to her home NY morning (couldn’t be bothered to see her NYE, despite the begging) that left after breakfast, door open and wind chimes chiming

Lmaooo

Before you film that split screen video with you just making faces on the side, all in the real content creator’s way? Don’t. Good morning! 🥰

😂😂😂

If I said for years I wanted to be an artist, took THE smallest steps towards doing it, yet someone that didn’t even try was told they could be a professional…

Imagine going out of your way to be mean and nasty to me and I’m

Thinking and remembering… They went out their way to make it clear they were sending a lyft to their date (normally used Uber) around Valentine’s Day a few months after we broke up, but when I told them my grandpa passed away, nothing. Again, they’ll get everything they deserve and more

I dreamed about a biscoff-crust vanilla cheesecake, so I guess that’s what I’m gonna make this weekend

Crying so much my face is warm

Yeah imma have to commit time to do my twists again

When tweets from over a year ago start gaining traction

10 years since this and what’s changed?

Need to make this an eye look asap

2023 🥰

If you had to compare being “promiscuous;” would it be the person who purposefully received head by 50+ people vs the person who had maybe 12 “full sex” partners

Bark like you want it

Randomly thought of my last date who thought it was cute to growl in my ear (I promise it sounded awkward AF) Imagine “::deep inhale:: groooooowwwllll”

The fact that Netflix could afford to buy warner brothers means they could've afforded to let us share passwords.

She sniffed me again yesterday, and today put her hand on my waist When I told her not to do that, she literally asked “why 🥺”

I'd rather be single than embarrassed, it's a lot of embarrassment going on 😆

Look at me and my sis (~18-36) 💕💕💕

Ooooh wee

So this movie is basically “Bridesmaids” + “Spy”

Oh I need to make more of this

When you’ve always been a diva…there were signs

I want to be taken care of, loved and cherished.

When customers love you back (been about a year, now)

I miss him lmao

Remembering how an ex treated me like Magic Mike’s Last Dance

I just did a random speech note and…I actually thought I sounded cute? Normally hate the voice that everyone else hears, but this sounded pretty 😂

I’m sleepy and hungry 🥺