Lmao now see

I think I was like 23? 25 at best

Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me baaabay

The way people will project on you 😂 Talked to a coworker who said she saw me in the parking lot but didn’t wanna bother me cuz I looked like I was mad with my husband I’m single, and was just looking at something stupid on social media

Draw me like one of your French girls

Trump is going to burn this country to the ground, enrich his family and friends, then die. Justice will never be served.

I dreamed a man met me at my front door, to pick me up like Nic did Olandria on their “last date” in the Villa

So… Look

So 1 of the teenage girls I see frequently saw me (looked for me!) today and screamed, “HI BESTIE!! The makeup eats! 🤏🏾🤏🏾🤏🏾”

I forgot rule number 1. I’m sorry

I’ve been so conditioned to say,” I’m sorry,” but I’m really not. If we have an issue with each other, we can talk

If it’s available…I’m going to make octopus this week As someone who keeps trying to like seafood (outside of a tuna sandwich), wish me luck

Someone who has been deceptive in their own way claims there’s been an issue with being honest 🥹🤤🔪

Which should I try for my eyes tomorrow? 👀

🤭🤭🤭

IF you don’t mind sharing, what’s one of the most violent things that’s happened to you? I’ll start—at my friend’s house, THE hangout spot, a dude I met previously from another friend’s CHURCH thought it was a good idea to choke me in the kitchen AND threaten to have me beat up. Thankfully…

Just thought about how there’s so much ice in the freezer since I’m not getting any for my grandpa every day…

I slept “wrong” and my head and back hurt. Hooray for late 30s!!

Recently a 20-something dude was w/ his mom, and he asked me about the supplements I demo. She mouthed to me, “he’s flirting! 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾.” Then she actually said out loud, “he’s flirting like his dad—thank God! 🤭”

EXCUSE ME

My mommy and I already don’t say, “Bye,” when we get off the phone, but I’ve decided (and she agrees) we’ll also say, “I can’t love you enough.”

I should call him

Almost 10 years ago

I’m cute huh!?

BRING BACK #RapShit and #SouthSide

A hinge match just told me he recently went on a date w/ a woman who “put him on game” reg. women using men for trips 🙄

We talk about how good your spirit has to be for babies, toddlers and animals to like you, but can we talk about when random TEENAGE GIRLS like you too?!

Today is ribeye, asparagus, and baked potato day!

I sincerely cannot stand when random folks want me to guess their age. If you’re actually 28, look 42, and I purposefully say you look 50, now what?

Yes

Something I watched today spoke on colorism, and it reminded me of a guy from HS, senior year. As a brown person who gets darker after just 20 minutes in the sun, a mixed race dude thought it would be funny to try & mark me w/ red sharpie. 1. What’s funny? 2. It was still visible, so now what?

Not every day, but I often wake up being glad my ex and I didn’t work out/get married. Ultimately he…just didn’t like me (I don’t think, at least) but liked the benefits of being with me. We can both be attractive, but can’t both be the Bad Bitch!

Just had a flashback to when one of my HS teachers would call me “tubby.” I should write that mofo right now and tell him he’s a POS! Not that it matters, since it’s horrible in general, but he actually had gastric bypass surgery in the 4 years I was there, so imagine his physique.

I had three dreams about my grandpa last night (not all pleasant, unfortunately) but I saw a bluebird this morning. He loved bluebirds and even had one nephew (by his favorite brother/sibling, mind you) call him Uncle Bluejay. Since his passing I’ve said that would be him visiting me 🩵💙🩵💙

(To a 3ish-yr-old): HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 😂🥰 Her: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

“Who is that shaking!? LAUREN!?” Well, you know, I have to walk 🥰

so many posts about not drunk driving on NYE (RIGHTFULLY SO, DON'T DO IT) but i also want people to STOP SHOOTING GUNS IN THE AIR!! GRAVITY IS A THING! BULLETS HAVE TO COME DOWN! don't ruin countless lives in your process of "having fun".

The barbarians will never make me hate red velvet

2 years ago..

I genuinely love the people I get “close” with! They seem so genuine 🥹

I just got Burberry “Goddess” and they weren’t lying. I should be worshipped ☺️😌

I got to see some of my regular babies/youngsters today 🥰 Of the two trios, the eldest sister reached out to me and made sure her younger brothers saw LAUREN!