I was previously unaware that Hunter Biden is exactly how I need to start every day

Cannot tell you how unbelievable it feels to be on this shortlist, and in holy cow such amazing company!!!

If you never give up the dream, and are pure of heart, it can happen for you too Wordle 1,456 1/6* 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

If your caption is "I'm going to let this image speak for itself" then you have failed to do so (Don't forget alt text btw)

Time to get a fake ID www.statnews.com/2025/05/20/f...

Hi 👋 I work in the ICU and often help patients find comfort in their final, dying moments and this is some king shit right here and I say he's innocent

Another astute thread by Sean, who I regularly lament does not live near me, because I'd be buying him a drink every time he posted something great, and he would be fucking wasted all the time

Wisdom right here

Just wrote this in the parking lot after seeing it. Drive three hours to a furniture store if you can. boxd.it/9rKnwL

None of the obits will mention his best movie

This is a scene of me, in the world, right now

Glorious thread

Can't guarantee I'll post here much, but it exists

Sometimes I see a drawing and I'm mad I didn't do it

More billionaires like this please. Also, less billionaires please

I have not a single follower who isn't already aware of the trembling, pants-shitting enthusiasm I have for this book and the totally random woman who wrote it. But this review of said book is a fittingly inventive tribute. Wipe your butts when you're done

May his memory endure on our biggest screens

Song idea: "You've got cancer of the heart, baby / You need some love-chemotherapy." Needs work, I know

Couldn't agree more, and for every one of those same reasons, I'm going all in on REMEMBER YOU WILL DIE by E. Robins

Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy that isn't a selfie.

This person deserves sainthood

Flavor Flav has been on Bsky for a day and has already compelled me to follow him

I recently saw The Wicker Man (1973) for the first time as well. Hard to tell if it's creepily sensual or sensually creepy. It doesn't make a *ton* of sense, and it's very, very Scottish. It's like watching a Donovan album

Endlessly disappointed there's no Kinzie Street Festival this weekend. Brown drinks on special

Goodreads in a nutshell

I mostly slept through Sunday school, but also

I have friends who were born in the 90s. I tried to explain this to them and they were convinced I was messing with them. I insisted that if I were messing with them it wouldn't sound made up

In Feb 2005, the AFI theater in Silver Spring MD hosted a month-long Cronenberg retrospective. "Crash" landed on Valentine's Day, so I took my new girlfriend. But the new "Crash" had just been nominated for Best Picture, and was consequently re-released in theaters at the same time. Hilarity ensued

Tech companies and apps touting AI as a selling point is like a waiter committing your order to memory: all it does is make everyone at the table nervous and the only one who's impressed is the fucking waiter

Just unearthed this screen capture I took in 2017 illustrating that google worked just fine without AI

Pizza is like sex in that Detroit style is kinda gross

Not an overstatement

If he's willing to admit that a worm has been eating his brain, just imagine the fish that's been eating his dick he's not talking about

Me at 9:30am: "Eh, it's only nine thirty" Me at 10am: "Oh shit it's already ten"

Just a friendly PSA: if parking spaces are scarce - whether it's in a lot or on the street - and you're sitting in your car with the engine running while looking at your phone or whatever when everyone else is looking for a spot, that's actually totally okay! But also I will end your life

A real Kevin McCarthy would never let his friends replace him

20th anniversary next year. We need a street festival, or at least like a commemorative donut

[cracks knuckles] [just starts copying and pasting old tweets here]