My favorite of Trump's recent trade deals was when he traded his golf ball that landed in the sand trap for the one his caddy threw down.

It's Sunday, which is God's day of rest, so if you were thinking of doing something bad, this is your chance.

Reagan gave us trickle-down economics, and Trump is giving us trickle-down psychopathy.

I'm not saying Tulsi Gabbard isn't a Russian agent, and neither is Tulsi Gabbard. www.cnn.com/2020/05/27/p...

Roger Stone just called me "retarded" for pointing out that he's riding the coattails of a pervert, in case you're wondering how things are going over on Twitter.

It's so cute that men were once afraid women would replace them in the workforce in jobs that required their manly intellect. Ha ha. We have robots for that now.

Independence Day felt so authentic. Mostly because the country is going to have indentured servants again, just like in 1776.

They had to be treated for boredom. www.fox5dc.com/news/more-th...

I don't usually give advice, but here's some: If you ever see Tom Homan coming toward you with a shovel in his hand, RUN LIKE THE WIND.

Karen asks to see the manager to complain about the unacceptable quality of the drinks offered by this shoddy establishment.

Donald Trump is making enemies so fast, I'm worried that $1 trillion won't be enough for the defense budget.

America is learning the hard way that not all psychopaths are masterminds.

If your purse contains $3,000 in cash and your passport, it's not a purse. It's a Go Bag. www.newsweek.com/why-kristi-n...

People need to stop making fun of Dan Bongino for getting man-grappled by an "incredibly talented" expert. Yes, he was left with "swelling," but that's a perfectly natural reaction to all the friction.

My dream date is me, Tom Homan, a shovel and a bag of quick lime for a ride to the New Jersey pine barrens, where we bury a body, and then we go to a tattoo parlor and get each other's names inked onto our lower backs. ❤️

Tom Homan seems like the kind of guy whose enemies disappear just when the concrete is being poured at a nearby construction site.

Just checking in to make sure I'm not getting any traction here. Looks good.

If you're worried that the guy from The Apprentice is fucking up the economy, you can relax. The guy from Shark Tank has an idea.

Who wore the shovel better?

Trump's propaganda machine is blasting out fart clouds of nonsense 24/7 and his cult is inhaling with a joyous frenzy. It's so utterly depressing.

Fortunately for everyone living through Trump's trade wars, liquor is still made in America.

Have these bastards even said "thank you"?

Pete Hegseth looks like the sound it makes when you walk in wet sneakers.

Donald Trump is trying to grab Greenland by the pussy.

Starting to think the kompromat Putin has on Trump is the result of Trump's IQ test.

Pretty soon, Donald Trump's wall will be keeping people in instead of out.

Donald Trump is fixing our broken immigration system — by turning the United States into a place no one wants to be.

When is Trump going to put a tariff on adult diapers?

People compare Trump to Hitler, but that's ridiculous. He's way dumber.

Who cares that Elon Musk is a ketamine-snorting billionaire who stays up late, retweeting sordid clickbait from over a decade ago? It's not like he's ruining people's lives or anything.

MAGA wanted America first and instead they got Trump first, and I swear to God, those idiots can't tell the difference yet.

Speaking of cheaper groceries, how's everybody liking the free shit sandwich DOGE is serving?

Terrible news for MAGAs: Trump wants to make English our official language.

Donald Trump and I have something in common. Neither one of us wants him to be the president.

Do you wish you could live in a hell of your own making? Ask your doctor if Algorithmz might be right for you.

The only business Trump truly understands is show business.

What amazes me most about JD Vance is how he manages to be wildly dangerous yet incredibly boring at the same time. Very few people can do that.

Let's call it The Gulf of Who Gives a Shit, Trump Is Letting Musk Destroy America Right Now

I can't wait for this class war to start. My pitchfork hand is tingling.

Let's call it The Gulf Between the Rich and the Poor Is Expanding Under Trump. Or is that too long to fit on the map?

I don't get how people think billionaire Elon Musk doesn't care about money. That's exactly what he cares about. It's like saying a fashionista doesn't care about dresses because she already has a hundred dresses. Honey, that fashionista wants *more* dresses.

Don't even talk to me until i've had my bloodletting

Gimme that old time separation of church and state

This is Koby. He was feeling pretty weird after surgery, but also pretty okay with it. 12/10

Bless Kristi Noem, she has an outfit and hair extensions for every atrocity. Her latest photo op: From Hair to Guantanamo.

I hope they back together soon 😉

Lily is watching the new documentary about America.

Wow! I like what you've done with your eyebrows.