Yes that’ll be because I was stood on one of the ramps in Euston that was at least 40°

Getting warmer out

Neighbourhood WhatsApp group is spiralling out of control after someone got pissy that some kids knocked on their door and ran. It’s about 75 messages in and I just sent a 🍿

Not a guy vaping on the treadmill??

How much protein is in a shaft(?) of Jaffa cakes?

We’re so back?

I am the king of having no depth perception without my glasses

Gonna use this quote from @joshualevell.bsky.social regularly

Worked out the new car can get to the in-laws whilst only using 49% of the battery so do I risk going there & back without charging?

Cut my fingers open whilst slicing a bagel again

Recognised an actor’s 9 second appearance in scrubs from their 7 second appearance in 30 Rock

Actually hit my protein goal one (1) time this week!

I offered someone a job but I can’t for the life of me remember who 😭

There are four different styles of weight plates at the gym and two of them are identical barring the font used but you bet I always need to use the same style when loading a bar

My gym crush hasn’t been in at the same time in weeks I am bereft

Despite the constant negative press covfefe

Four or five blokes buttoning up and putting ties on in Canary Wharf station

Hot weather nighttime tip: y’know those dog cooling mats you can get from pet shops? Lay on one overnight as a human.

Have designed an AC system for the new house to get installed over winter gonna be extra popular in 2027 x

The temp sensor in the loft says 43.5° 🙃

I’d rather be dead on Avanti West Coast than alive on Cross Country

Zelda? I hardly know her!

Probably beat a few of you with this one

My Instagram has reverted its tab bar layout and the buttons are in different places than my thumb expects and I am bereft

Highly recommend doing a notification purge - life is bliss without my phone pinging when I least expect it

The indicator stalk in the car has started squeaking and it’s driving me insane

Nobody in this gym knows I’m listening to Chumbawamba’s 1997 hit Tubthumping

Should probably spend today reviewing and responding to the messages I have neglected to open for the last 5-7 business days

Need a fuckin vat of Aperol after today

Me to our solicitors: vm.tiktok.com/ZNRgMkenu/

Solicitors answer the fucking question you’ve asked without getting defensive challenge: impossible

Accidentally locked Spencer (dog) in the car for two minutes and he chose that exact moment to be the first time he’s ever moved inside the car (he hates it pretends to be a statue) and so set the alarm off at 10pm. Turns out the alarm is just the horn every half a second

Have started doing more cardio and I just end up very sweaty very quickly

Would like to buy myself a little treat so suggestions of little quality of life improvement products that are Amazon-able and up to about £50 welcome

For those of you interested in the inner workings of our lives we just had a conversation about this post which started with the phrases “did you make that with an indian?” and ended with “call me a woman in stem!”

Why are the most chalant people in the gym the ugliest too??

My new ID badge won’t let me in the toilet??

I’m halfway through an arm workout and I can’t pick my bottle up 😭

Really looking forward to Italy with the besties in August 🕶️

Torn between the comment of “weird flex but okay” and “exactly what a friend or victim would say” but not sure if either of those are in bad taste??

Was apprehensive about being more…robust… with our solicitors then remembered we’re paying them a considerable amount of money to send a few emails

I’m doing the gayest treadmill incline walk ever to Summerboy

Doing legs for the first time in a while and I feel sick

Think I just uttered a sentence no human has ever said before: “Did I tell you my toothbrush crashed and rebooted while I was using it yesterday?”

Washed the new car for the first time and forgot how much dirt shows up on a white car

Effectively just called someone a liar in an interview