Preemptive announcement: I will be the halftime show at this year’s Super Bowl, reading the best Dad jokes.

This mfr has declared war on a US city, on US citizens. Will you stay silent, still?

This f$&ing guy, speaking to his edgelord fans, hoping to spark more violence…. Just Dunce Vance is a trash panda.

I hope no one mentions to the rest of the UN, as they remain so impressed by the seven wars Trump has solved all by himself, that he hasn’t made any progress on either of the two actual wars he promised to solve immediately during his campaign. #fail

Good early morning @juststacie5683.bsky.social and friends. Got a boat load to do today, and it’s Hump Day, and I’m feeling especially spicy, so when we rock today, it’s gonna be spicy. #EarWorm On Hump day, we Rock, and down with ‘authority’ Pennywise - F*ck Authority youtu.be/j5arZGgyGSc

Just an idea: rather than getting Kilmeade fired for his disturbing and insensitive comments about the homeless, I’d advocate for him to be sentenced to serve homeless services for at least the next five years.

I suggest blue suits and oversized red ties for them all.

BREAKING News: POTUS signs EO forcing ‘Cracker Barrel’ to retain original branding, and add extra gravy on every meal offered.

There are so few words left to describe how much I utterly despise this anti-science ideology and the unforgivable damage it will inflict upon future generations.

6:30 am, and it’s already 75 and humid. Time for some early yard work before it’s too steamy out☀️ #iykyk

Speaking of craving all the power, Donald Trump was involved in the child sex trafficking ring with Jeffrey Epstein.

Complete dereliction of duty by the media

Spray Tan Shitler’s corrupt DOJ reinstating Habba should be a bigger story, folks. m.economictimes.com/news/interna... Alina Habba sacked by judges, reinstated by DOJ; another Trump vs judiciary clash in the offing - The Economic Times

The Mehdi H. - Jubilee video clips might be the most soul-crushing, depression inducing thing I’ve seen. 🙄

Masterclass.

Paramount/skydance/CBS sucks anyway. Give Colbert the freedom to do the show he wants, with the content he wants.

Boy, the folks who claim to hate ‘cancel culture’ are sure working overtime to tell you to avoid a new ‘Superman’. 🤡

So the farm workers aren’t safe, huh Mr. Trump? or did someone make another decision w/o consulting you?

Serious question: where is Special prosecutor Jack Smith now? I’d like it if he were out here in the trenches with us proletariat knowing what he knows.

Mike Johnson is excited about a UFC event at the WH, because nothing gives him greater joy than watching two muscular, greased, sweaty men in their underwear, rolling on the floor entangled in ‘combat’

Once the OBBB passes and is signed into ‘law’; the only law that will matter to this admin is when you don’t “act appropriately” in their narrow interpretation of what is appropriate.

Turns out Trump’s plan to replace the Affordable Care Act was to simply kick everyone off Medicare.

Pre-game fun before Cake for dessert.

Dear ICC: Mr. Trump is in The Hague. Just sayin’.

It’s 100 degrees, and my son wanted to play, so we shot 9. Now it’s a patio beer before dinner at home.

Donald J Trump just put a bullseye target on every member of the American Armed Forces.

Welcome Friday night fire pit, one and all.

Why do vampires have a hard time meditating? They can’t reflect

I hope Donald celebrates a long weekend, zipping his tiny johnson in his ill-fitting golf slacks; and tiny Mike Johnson gets a thumbnail paper cut paging through his horrid bill; and lastly, for Kristi Noem to burn the roof of her mouth guzzling her grande hot blonde mocha with caramel drizzle.

New episode of ‘The Masked Singer” drivel….

Because most people go through life thinking “….I’m ok just being sick and unhealthy” on purpose. #clown

In all seriousness, what could be more Wisconsin, than a beer garden full of families and their newborns? I mean, we’re the elderly here….. #cocoonbrewing

Always remember that Brad Karp decided it wasn’t worth standing up for the rule of law when his firm of Paul Weiss was targeted. Never forget it, not for a minute.

How this drooling dipshit is the President of the United States will never fail to astound me.

Anyone else see those clips and wish Terry Moran would just say “…just shut the hell up you jibbering saggy windbag. The lies are over…” No? Just me?

So we’re in the midst of pre-draft festivities, and Wisconsinites are def holding up their end of the bargain.

Please repeat over and over: “Bending to the whims of a bully will not end his cruelty. It will only embolden him. The response to authoritarianism isn’t acquiescence. Bullies respond to one thing, and one thing only: a punch in the face.” —Gov. JB Pritzker

The issue I have always had with authority, is recognizing that once their boot is on your throat, it will be difficult to get enough air to scream. I would much rather make as much noise as possible before they can bring that boot to bear.

See how this works. Force the market down through volatile tariff reform. Tell your buddies to buy stock. Pause your tariff reform. Markets rebound. Everyone makes tons of money. Nothing but a common street level thief.

The same people chanting “F*ck Joe Biden”, screaming “F*ck your feelings” and “Lock her/them up”, claiming Michelle Obama is a man, and calling people ‘libtards’ and ‘Demoncrats’; are the same people saying parents need to start teaching their kids to learn some respect. 🙄🤡

“Peacetime president” 🤡

This could not be more illegal. 😡

HFS. 😳😡

Precisely

Since Donald seems to be babysitting Elmo’s kid, here’s hoping today Don’s right toe finds the legos in the carpet. Perhaps the left one too.

How about instead: Optimus can stay here and clean the planet air and water. Elon can fly to Mars and stay there. Start today even. Save billions.

@jamellebouie.net appreciate the fascinating talk in Green Bay this evening.

Now that Schumer and Dems have abjectly decided to cave, when they scream about the cuts that Musk and Trump continue to undertake in violation of *their own CR,* it will only sound all the more hollow. Great job all around, guys.

Turns out @schumer.senate.gov is an aneurysm in the heart of America