OoooOh yeaaaaAh!! I'M! long neck Halford, are all you metal maniacs out there ready to STRE-EE-ETCH?

the epstein documents are really darkly funny how the names are missing sometimes but then the unknown person is like If parliament refuses the Migration Compact I may have to submit my resignation as foreign minister for slovakia

I'm torturing your simulacrum, you blockhead

Earth's beautiful boy

(a filthy canvas bag violently being put over my head, muffled): and what about parodies of the sonic youth "goo" cover. you used to see those all the time except itd be something else like. crash bandicoot. "I stole my sister's apples, it was all whirlwind heat and flash". hey are you mad at me

On the bus or at the library you might be tempted to connect to Haley's Macbook Air or Huong's iPhone on the bluetooth. But you musn't.

The bonemancer sniffed the steaming cup. "What is this concoction?". Arialla rolled her eyes. "It's a 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘰, Bonemancer". He looked doubtful. "Just try it."

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HAPPENING AT THE CUOMO PARTY IM CRYINGGGGG

The bonemancer scoffed. "How can you hope to defeat me? Your mousy brown hair and 5'4" stature and enrollment in a creative writing program are pitiful to me". Arialla smiled. She knew she was the superior bonemancer.

Chapter 1 Bonemancer's Bequest

like one million years ago I made this ouija board for a puppet video and I still think it's pretty funny

this younger generation is too busy watching "Snookie" on their iphones instead of reading "Snoopy" on the newspaper

foffy report. now there is Hell Foffy

[meeting the buddha on the road] Uhh. Hey man. Ummm. Fuck you

Abu Ghraib was pretty mean "Reign of Fire" was on the screen Then balloon boy Falcon Heene Those were the days 🎵

my favourite baffling yoga phrase: "if you can't find pigeon, you can go to deer"

frankenstein was frankenfine

I'm the person whose job it is to make sure BBC's The Big Read and AFI 100 Years...100 Laughs are mentioned on every wikipedia article. I am funded by the Saudi government

I'm very tired of all of this but it's kind of bleakly funny how trump thinks he Decided To take a dementia test. yea man that was definitely your idea

at the top of the 20th a grim reaper will appear that chases everyone around

"well it says on google AI overview that–" I would rather you burp directly in my mouth than finish that sentence

what was your boyfriend's name again. it was something like

annie lennox walking on broken glass

you know I had to do it

Cheers theme (All slurs version)

Enter, bimbo, if you dare

embroidered snapback all like 𝓘𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓷𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓮𝓼𝓷’𝓽 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓭, 𝓼𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮

😍'Tish--that's gay!

Kids don't remember Y2K computer virus 😞. Or the terrible accident of 9/11 😞. The Good ole days

When Your Pushing 40 You Can't Eat Crazy Anymore.... [inside of card] Now You Just Are Crazy! Happy Birthday!

tell me the best pogs you had. here were mine: - a triceratops and it had the caption Dinosaurs - Rhinoceros - an old man surfing and it had the caption "Old Man's"

a little while ago I wrote some fake anti-gay protest signs for a tv show. here are the ones they did not take:

💅shopping~

super smash bros announcer voice: Wire Mother

silksong a bit deeper in report: as it turns out, this one is all about the fantasy of cutting through fascism like a living knife

w0w!! i love this music bug www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMWj...

It's impossible to say if it's good or bad, or whether any particular reaction is good or bad, or how you feel is good or bad, or if you're good or bad, or what happened or if anything happened at all, my latest for the dog food times

BREAKING NEWS: A 6-year-old boy is floating away in a hot air balloon. Watch live: www.cnn.com/live

really enjoying silksong so far. love to meet a big shitty bird who's my enemy and to put it in its Grave

Give us our flours while we're still here

doing my vocal warmups practicing talking like how a box of rogers cube sugar looks

this dating app showed me flour instead of a person and I had to swipe left on it to make it go away

welcome to my website chillers only No punishers

A handy list of Vancouver's Park Board members for anyone with thoughts 👍 [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]

when I was a kid my dad was always trying to teach me about the mathematical dimensions in some attempt to turn me into a math prodigy or something but I sort of took it like I would have to someday discover and navigate the fourth dimension