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Knicks-Hawks

Kars4Kids Formally Apologizes To Viewers For The Mets Games Shown Between Its Commercials

It's not a road, it's a cliff.

My Mets hat is raising a lot of questions already answered by my Mets hat.

This is why the crabs of Fisherman's Wharf don't have shells anymore.

Final scene: Anna Karenina picks her red bag off the train tracks, dusts it off, and then walks slowly and confidently away from the train station and into the setting sun.

It appeared that there had even been demonstrations to thank Big Brother for raising the chocolate ration to twenty grams a week. And only yesterday it had been announced that the ration was to be reduced to twenty grams a week. Was it possible they could swallow that, after only twenty-four hours?

“Ah, Bartleby! Ah, humanity!”

Tommy Tutone narrowly escapes numbers-related indictment.

What a way for the Mets to start the season! God I love opening day.

Millie the Model delivers your periodic reminder that kerning matters.

Someone recently made a post noting that the figure in Norman Rockwell’s Freedom of Speech was looking at something very high and I think I’ve solved it.

The DisappointMets.

The true owner of the Mets is the Overlook Hotel.

Just how early have the Mets totally blown it? At the same time in 2013, John Buck was on pace for a 58 home run season.

“Forget it, Jake.”

I think it’s time for the Mets to stop using that expensive “forget how to hit” ray on their own players.

The Worstest Team That Much More Money Could Buy

The White House Correspondents Association welcomes special guest King Kong.

What an odd autocomplete while I was texting about Spelling Bee.

That shopkeeper makes me feel like ordering fried eggs.

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller April 24,1948

🎶 In the Big Rock Candy Mountains Bryce Harper goes 0 for 5 The Phillies always have a losing streak And show Phillies Postgame Live 🎶

This reminds me of that Will Smith Netflix movie where mythical Lord of the Rings beings lived and worked in the modern day United States.

New York Mets win. #LGM

Met Libs

Kung Phooey Banda

Brett Baty is on the loose! #LGM

The hottest club in town is Phillies Post Game Live with Ricky Bottalico after the Phillies' 9th loss in a row.

“In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it. It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later: the logic of their position demanded it.”

Mets Director of Calf Loosening Unceremoniously Fired

PLACE IT IN THE PUBLICATION! #LGM

NEW. YORK. METS. WIN. HEY. I. LIKE. THAT. #LGM

Mets take a lead in an 8th inning.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

How To Talk To Young Mets Fans About Why The Universe Hates Them

🎶 Call him drunk Ke’Bryan Hayes He won't answer anymore 🎶

"Aye, thou knowest that the last motion picture old Ahab partook of before beginning his whaling career was The Fly starring Jeff Goldblum in 1986."

we all know I have no life, so: