Tell me how old you are without telling me. I’ll go first: I remember when you had to start dialing the area code along with the 7 digit phone number.

The man standing behind me in this coffee line is so close he’s hit me twice just from fidgeting. Sir, it’s ok to leave some room for Jesus.

I have 6 packages of pancake mix in my cupboard in various states of use. I don’t remember buying or using any of them.

Here’s what I don’t understand about businesses supporting billionaires. There are 3k of them worldwide but billions of people who could be middle class with living wages. Billionaires won’t sustain your businesses long term but a robust middle class could. Why tank your own customer base?

There is very little that’s as excruciating as trying to explain literally anything on the internet to your boomer parents. No, mom, I don’t know where your Facebook event is or why it isn’t posting.

I love NYC Midnight challenges. They’re always so fun! Are you up for a scary writing challenge? Join me in the @nycmidnight.bsky.social Scary Story Challenge on October 31st! Learn more at nycmidnight.com/scary

Things I did this past weekend: • Cook and can a ridiculous amount of produce • Watch multiple videos on canning meat • Pitched to several more freelance opportunities • Wrote more episodes of the vertical drama I’m creating with an LA based director Keeping busy while I find my next paycheck

I’m not saying my neighbors are human traffickers, but there’s a constant stream of young women we never see again so…

Sometimes all I want from this life is for the cooked onions to taste as good as they smell

Shout out to the married lesbians from rural Georgia we met at the Backstreet Boys concert in Vegas this weekend. They detailed, with glee, how much effort they put into vexing their MAGA ex-husbands 😆 Stay safe, ladies. And remain a nuisance to those men.

Sometimes people in movies who hate each other have to be on the same side and I’ve never understood that emotion more than having to side with my friend’s almost ex husband because shes doing something crazy.

The house full of single guys behind our house uses our driveway to access their place. This means we get to see every single girl they escort out. There’s never been the same one twice.

My 14 yr old shih tzu has dementia and keeps forgetting he had dinner. He barks incessantly when he thinks it’s dinner time. After 2 dinners, 3 bowls of water, a trip outside to do his business, and some doggo cookies he finally got some special peanut butter. Shout out to special peanut butter.

Having brunch with my mom & kid in Redondo Beach and the rich old ladies behind us are criticizing their friend’s husband’s mistress because she accepted a second house from him. Get that bag, sweetheart.

I’ve had a weird day. My husband’s paycheck bounced. I got in a fight with an old white lady who said really racist stuff to my friend. My city is under a tsunami watch from a Russian earthquake. I need an edible and a nap.

If you want a truly unhinged movie going experience, check out a morning movie on a random week day.

Dear LA, I will never complain about traffic, parking availability, or the cost of parking ever again. You are beautiful, and I love you. San Francisco - get your shit together.

I get irrationally angry when I leave LA and things are more expensive at the place I’m visiting. At least at home I expect to be ripped off, but how dare this small town charge more for gas than the Shell at Fairfax & Olympic.

I’ve had a celiac diagnosis for so long that I don’t worry about going places and eating because there are snacks in my purse.

Me, standing in the grocery store with a list of Caesar salad dressing ingredients in front of me clear as day. “Ah, yes, the sardines I need to make this dressing.” 🤦🏻‍♀️ In case anyone’s wondering, sardine Caesar isn’t that bad. #caesarsalad #whatdidido

I’m LOVING this trend of playing the songs you listened to in high school for your teenagers. Pretty sure the kid is traumatized after hearing me sing Fantasy by Ludacris 😆

My 17 yr old asked for the parental restrictions to be taken off her phone so we made a deal: get up before 11am every day (even if you don’t have work) and do one non-screen related activity. This is day 3 of getting a 10:45am text saying she’s awake 😆

We had a blast watching #Kesha at the #KiaForum last night. I can still dance through a concert as long as I have sensible shoes and a bottle of water 😆

Currently trying to gaslight my dog into thinking the fireworks aren’t real and he’s losing it for nothing.

Can someone explain to me the point of laptop free zones in coffee shops that allow laptops? They’re always empty while people wait for a seat in a place they can work.

So excited to be part of the first round of people to get #BandoftheCrow from my friend, #ArvidNelson and the brilliant artist Oren. The map by @francescabaerald.com is so beautiful and intricate. I’m excited!!

Just finished editing the 3rd draft of a yet to be picked up Slasher series. Some of you are brilliant writers & need to query like it. Any horror/slasher agents/publishers out there looking for a new writer? This author (not me) has this trilogy already finished. #booksky #slasherbook #newauthor

I didn’t expect to be arguing with my cousin at 8:30am about the role priests have played in the hostile authoritarian takeover of the US, but here we are.

If you ever want to make your superhero comics loving friend spin out, suggest that Tom Holland could be the next Batman. #batman #dccomics #tomholland

I hope the kids who idolize Joe Rogan know what a draft card is and who to thank for theirs

I just spent 15 minutes on the phone with the underwriter for my car insurance discussing our favorite horror/sci fi podcasts. But also got the pdf I needed for my car 😆

Proud of you today, LA. From one end of the county to the other, you turned out. 🥹💕

New Yorkers scream out each officer’s lawsuits against them for excessive force and more upon their city, right to their faces while protesting.

LAUSD is holding a workshop for parents on what to set up in advance for their kids if parents are taken. All LAUSD parents received this email today. #ThisIsAmerica

Today my mother told me the story of how her first husband was murdered. I think I scared a lady in Trader Joe’s when I said, “they didn’t find his body for a week?!”

I live a few miles west of #dtla and my friend lives downtown. There aren’t any riots, there’s no looting. With the exception of a few people, protests have been peaceful. Don’t listen to the false narrative coming out of the White House. #losangeles #la #protests

i don’t know what to say about the images coming out of LA right now. but in case you need it, here’s a reminder that out in the streets, only water goes in your eyes. flush with water. take your clothes off when you get home & take a cool shower, wash yourself with dish soap a few times. godspeed.

LA - if you’re out protesting, cover your face and your tattoos. Even if your phone is off, the GPS is always on and tracking you so leave it at home. Stay. Safe.

😈

Hey #booktok and #booksky are we all obsessed with Alex Warren’s music or haven’t you heard him yet?

Um, anyone else notice that #Costco has dropped tons of their prices? One more reason to love them.

Pride is more important than ever this year. I don’t have to tell you why. Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈 May it bring you the joy you deserve.

Sometimes I’m a little intense with my worry for my loved ones, but I grew up loving addicts and not all of them are still here. If I ask you not to drink and drive, just remember it comes from a place of deep hurt and trauma. No pressure tho.

I’m gonna need talk show hosts and reporters to stop saying “raw dog” in reference to literally anything. Thank you.

I know I’ve been slacking on this campaign lately, but this is a reminder that I’d be an amazing addition to the #buffyreboot writer’s room. Someone who loves the universe and has an MFA in screenwriting. #pickmegirl #buffythevampireslayer #buffy #btvs

What would happen if we introduced Annabelle to Robert The Doll? #annabelle #robertthedoll #paranormal

I’m a writer. Replacing us with AI will only bite you in the ass down the road. Readers don’t connect with AI. The content feels hollow because it is. If you want quality engagement, you’re going to have to employ a real person. We have the data to prove it’s all true, so save yourself the headache

Current book is Lightlark by Alex Astor and I’m enjoying it so much. I’m definitely a 3rd person over 1st person perspective kind of reader. I do think I need a good horror book after so much Romantasy though. Any thoughts on Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica?

So the oracle waters are Delphi are flowing again after more than 1600 years. At this point, why not? Let’s see what happens. m.youtube.com/watch?v=P98m...