I have been working too hard, and kind of lonely. Gregor is in rehab for a while yet. Jessica is away. I have Jonathan and James and other friends here. I'm not unhappy, but I need to improve my "work / life balance" and spend more time with Jessica. I am looking forward to her to come home.

I think maybe Jessica will buy the cabin property she visited in Mitchell County NC. It sounds very beautiful there. It would be a wonderful retreat, more isolated than here tho. I think she will keep horses here, stay here often. It is a 6hr drive from here by highway, and 4hrs to her >>>>

I am annoy that I was not able to go with Jessica on her trip to look at properties. Too much work. Damn sian - work until like that. She is texting me tho, seems to have good time and is liking the cabin she found tho it was not what she was looking for. Life gives pleasant surprise one sometime.

We recorded this in the cottage basement last night. We used hanging moving blankets to deaden unwanted artifacts and a simple tascam. Sophie who is primarily a violinist but plays guitar added some bass. Sophie and Al provided backing vocals, Sophie also harmonies, Al percussion. This is >>>

@jessica-morgan95.bsky.social I'm afraid to ask in person... but - may I go with u on ur road trip? I promise not to make it "weird" as u would say. I promise to learn from you how u need for "us" to be. Gregor will be in rehab and I would be alone anyway and I want to spend time with u.

I made the best decision I could. With Gregors PTS and self medicating I needed to focus on him. Our time away our wedding and extended time did wonders for him. He is doing so much better. I talked with Gregor during our time away about how unfair all of this had been to Jessica and Gregor >>>>

I've asked for too much and given too little. The die is cast Jessica wants to pull back from me, to be friends who have sex now and then. Instead of being lovers having a committed relationship. It makes sense for her because that's all she's been getting from me for a while. It breaks my heart >>

@jessica-morgan95.bsky.social Of course I want you sweetheart - you are an amazing person. Beautiful, kind, compassionate, generous. You have an amazing analytical mind. And you are a great lover 😉 I don't care about EF or ND. Those are things we can work on together. But I do have one big ask>>>

I got a call from Jessica's mother - a very lovely and intelligent woman who is an LCSW. She wants Jessica and I to visit for at least a week so she can teach me about Jessica's ND, how to read her cues, how to communicate with her better. And work with Jessica and I on DBT. She says that she >>>

Everything I try to say to Jessica is just making it worse. I can't expect her to understand what happened. I can't expect her to excuse any of it or to demand anything less than what she should have had all along. More than that. But it hurts that I can't communicate with her right now.

@jessica-morgan95.bsky.social I am not making any excuses but I need u to understand. Gregor is not a bad man. He has PTS and abuses prescription drugs to live with it. I gave him attention at ur expense because of his problems not because he made me do it or I loved him more. It was my idea >>>

Human beings have in them the capacity for light and darkness, good and bad. We all do destructive and hurtful things at times. The answer in my practice of Buddhism is to make amends. If Jessica will just let me I will dedicate myself to making amends to her for as long as it takes regardless >>>

@jessica-morgan95.bsky.social please speak to me - I have emailed, called, texted, come to ur door. We need to talk please.

I do not know what to say to Jessica, what to do. I would do anything to fix this. She means the world to me. I do not want to lose her but it feels as tho I already have. She is very closed to me now. It is as tho she has already made her decision. I did not intend to neglect her. I was >>>

Wah - whilst Gregor and I were gone I seem to have had an additional thousand people follow my page, with only few posts 😊 This is amazing sangat 🖤

I want more than anything to get vid of Jessica @jessica-morgan95.bsky.social playing classical and flamenco guitar. She is so amazing in ability. Jessica however is really uncomfortable with video. It is a part of her neurodivergence and I respect that. Nonetheless I hope, one day....

Jessica @jessica-morgan95.bsky.social is a tremendously talented vocalist but she will not admit to her tremendous talent as a player of guitar. I love hearing her play and we nagged her into playing this piece. She will not post it but I will!!! The guitarists in Windlass are very jealous of her😉

Jia, Al and Sophie persuaded me to play "piano" for them although what they have in the studio is an 88 key electronic keyboard that can control a synthesizer. I played a few shorter pieces, Jessica provided some subtle bass accompaniment and they recorded these. It will be interesting to hear.

I am currently in South Carolina visiting with Jessica's friends from her old rock and blues band and their wives and girlfriends. These are wonderful persons, a delight. I am actually blown away by the music they make and by the variety and range of it. I am so proud of Jessica for her talent.

This pic was of me was taken by Jessica @jessica-morgan95.bsky.social at her condo last summer. We will be having a low key women's day out tomorrow, taking it easy, watching that Jessica does not over exert. She needs to get out some. #asian #model #glamour #boudoir #portrat #B&W

Having been sick I've been itchin' to take some photos. Now that I am deemed non-contagious, I shot this with Jia here in my cottage. She was fresh out of the shower and I brushed her hair out really fine and scattered it all over her for this concept. #asian #model #nude #nsfw #potrait #artnude

This pic Gregor @fotografica-gregor.bsky.social took of me in evening light coming thru the window, at the edge of the bed. I love it but it shows where my collarbone was broken sparring Shotokan. The light was warm and I like the mood. #asian #model #nude #nsfw #artnude #nudeart #glamour #sunset

Jia @jia-feng.bsky.social took this photo of me in my condo last year. I had been scrolling bluesky on my phone looking for hot models to follow 😊 #amateur #model #nude #couch #glamour #B&W #nsfw #artnude

Jia @jia-feng.bsky.social and I were in a pretty fancy NYC hotel while she was up there on business. One evening we shot nudes using the big clear glass table in front of a large mirror. I'm thinking 70s Penthouse vibe. #amateur #model #glamour #nude #penthouse #mirror #nsfw #artnude

I was teaching Jessica @jessica-morgan95.bsky.social and our friend Miss K how to set up, light, shoot and pose for art nudes when Miss K took this one - I think it is very good. #asian #model #nude #nsfw #artnude #nudeart

and vice versa 😊

Jessica is finally asleep. She had a very hard day. Doctor says it will take 7-10 days to be well but she should be fine though there will be bad days. Doc does not mind my herbs and is familiar with some of them and their properties and approves. His meds should start kicking in maybe tomorrow

No need to worry everyone - I am getting great care. Nurse Jia is watching over me 😊

An art nude pic Jessica took of me. It was a part of a challenge we had to take artistic pics of each other's derriere 😊 her pic of me is better. #asian #model #nude #nsfw #artnude #nudeart #B&W #chiaroscuro

So Jessica is very sick and I am worried for her. She gets seasonal allergies so at first we assumed this was what was wrong. But it is obvious she has caught a flu. We have a doctor in the valley who is going to check on her. I am staying in her cottage to care for her so availability is less.

An art nude of me by @fotografica-gregor.bsky.social I never know what moment(s) he is going to capture. This one is a little abstract almost silhouette. #asian #model #nude #nsfw #artnude #nudeart #B&W

This photo was part of a set style for a 70s Penthouse vibe 😊though I suppose it could be 60s to mid 70s Playboy.... image by @jia-feng.bsky.social #model #nude #nsfw #artnude #nudeart #vintage #B&W #glamour #penthouse #playboy

I was just "thinking in bed" when Jia @jia-feng.bsky.social took this photo. It is a portrait of sorts but also an implied nude I will be scarce today but will check in with my phone and catch up with comments and follows etc this evening 😊 #model #nude #bed #glamour #portrait #implied #artnude

I was noticing the reflections with all of the mirrors and set up my OM1 on a tripod to catch a few shots 😊 #asian #model #glamour #boudoir #mirrors #reflections

This pic is from a series Gregor @fotografica-gregor.bsky.social shot of me when I was looking out the window. I do not know why panty was half down 😉 #asian #model #nude #nsfw #glamour #boudoir #artnude #nudeart

So things are very busy for me - success is its own punishment it seems 😊 I have not had as much time as I would like to have to post here or to respond more fully to comments etc. I hope to ease things up a bit - I do not want anyone to feel neglected 😉 I always see and appreciate you

Jia and I were staying in a fancy hotel suite and she decided that it would be good to shoot some glamour photos of me. She styled my hair a bit, did the makeup, suggested the simple (!) wardrbe 😊 I think this looks a little like vintage glam... #model #nude #glamour #vintage #B&W

A candid from Gregor @fotografica-gregor.bsky.social I am getting accustomed to his "photojournalism" of me and not so annoyed 😉 it is nice to have someone who thinks u are so beautiful... #asian #model #boudoir #B&W

When I was four years old, my mother had a miscarriage. I had been looking forward to having a baby sister. I still feel like I am missing someone in my life. This image and a few others from this series are dedicated to her. My mother went on to have two boys but I've always missed my sister.

One of Jessica's @jessica-morgan95.bsky.social pics of me - she was learning depth of field 😊😉 so do u like my feet? #asian #model #nude #nsfw #feet #artnude #nudeart

My love Jessica's page @jessica-morgan95.bsky.social is growing fast - she is very beautiful and friendly. She also has more time than I for responding to comments etc. If u follow me but not her u are missing out 😊😉 Be aware tho that she does not put up with sexual talk or crude language.

Another picture my then boyfriend, now ex husband took of me. I converted it to black and white because it had a reddish pinkish cast. I think it's a better image this way. This was eight years ago. #model #nude #nsfw #artnude #nudeart #B&W

I was shooting art nudes with Gregor @fotografica-gregor.bsky.social around the house. Here I was actually just changing positions but Gregor snapped this pic... #asian #model #nude #nsfw #artnude #nudeart #B&W #chiaroscuro

thank u I find the term degrading for a woman

Jia @jia-feng.bsky.social tool this photo of me on a black leather couch in a hotel we were staying in. I think it is one of my most artful photos. #model #nude #couch #glamour #nude #nsfw #B&W

This is my favorite chair. It is an antique of unknown provenance. It is gorgeous. I have it in my cottage. The evening shadows were beautiful so Jia @jia-feng.bsky.social took this shot. #model #nude #nsfw #artnude #nudeart #B&W #chiaroscuro

Ladies day out today - will catch up with replies etc this evening - enjoy the day 😊 Thank u everyone for every like comment (Not rude!) and follow - I am seeing you 😊

Gregor @fotografica-gregor.bsky.social took this pic of me getting dressed in hotel bathroom. I love this green panty 😊 #asian #model #boudoir #glamour #panty

This is one of my favorite images from Jia @jia-feng.bsky.social It was taken in the morning before we had really gotten up. The window light was soft and lovely. #model #nude #bed #morning #B&W #boudoir #glamour