the meds seem to be working re: their fundamental use.... but my cramps have increased by a LOT. so that's fun.

it's #wipwednesday -- have a tidbit of the svt project that may or may not ever see the light of day

My last 24 hours has consisted of has consisted of: 10 period products bled through 8 hours in the hospital 5 vials of blood drawn 4 nurses 3 piss cups 2 different kinds of ultrasound All to get 1 dose of a medication to slow my bleeding and 0 diagnoses I am So fucking fed up and tired

Day number 1039;928282883020 of me wondering if I can convince a doctor to take the whole damn thing out without approval from a man in my life

i hop in and out of being (casually) on dating apps. we're currently on an 'in' phase, and somehow i mentioned kpop lore. the person i'm talking to is now asking questions about kpop, like, genuinely to learn. i cannot infodump. i cannot infodump. i cannot infodump.

I realized I forgot to update this lol In terms of a bias, Kay and Fru to the cake (although honestly.... Rai's not wrong either lmfao) w/ Jiung. And Lina and Kay (again) were both right about my wreckers bc Theo and Jongseob really are trying. 😂

Every time my period starts, my knee and my insomnia get so much worse. Fuck my life.

Luke Evans starting the day off strong with that leather daddy look, OK

Time to rank the members of SVT on most to least likely to hold a grudge over something fully dividing the group (in a non-idol AU)

i try exceptionally hard not to compare myself to other people these days in any sense, because it's rarely productive or ends with me feeling good about myself, but every now and then i slip. unfortunately tonight is one of those nights. my brain is an asshole.

I know I can regulate. I know that I’m capable. I know that it’ll be fine. I also already want to crawl out of my skin.

Repost to make it die faster

definitely hit peak overstimulation today. i'm in a more regulated position now but holy fuck i thought i was going to genuinely go into fight or flight earlier.

2 people have now seen this fic idea. and both of the reactions were positive. this one made me spit water onto my desk.

i've gotten pretty good at eating without issue in the almost 2 weeks since my snakebites, but every now and then the flatback will snag on the top of my teeth when i bite into something and get YANKED. and then i wish i was dead for like 5 minutes.

Well it was an ok brain day and then I had 3 panic attacks in an hour about work. So.

i missed #wipwednesday on account of a friend's birthday, so have some yuri for thwip thursday instead. (i've revisted the jongsang this week)

Actively requesting a replacement brain. Mine is being an asshole.

I have a terrible, awful, angry SVT fic idea that’ll probably never get written but I also don’t think it’ll ever leave me alone

today i learned that wooyoung and jun have the same smile, and my heart can't fucking take it.

my intro to kpop presentation is done and will probably run about an hour long (before questions). thankfully, this is going to my reporter friend. she loves shit like this.

today i learned that wooyoung and jun have the same smile, and my heart can't fucking take it.

Might be kind of MIA for a few days. Things are kind of rough in my brain right now, and I may need to step back from some things until I’m better regulated. Love you guys.

Brain chemistry is stupid

what's everyone's go-to intro mv for ateez? mine is usually halazia, but idk if it's the right vibe this time.

Two sections left of my kpop 101 presentation before I get to move on to decorating it and doing animations and such. Fingers crossed I get there today.

This is friendship I fucking guess (fully joking. This was all said with love)

I’ve been really busy the last few weeks but also feeling really good. I’m hoping the feeling good part will pick back up soon and that it’s just a bad weekend. Fingers crossed.

it's probably the place my brain is at rn but the fire sibling-isms are really rattling around in there tonight guys.

Idk if the workout endorphins just didn't happen this time, or if I was too depressed to start with for them to matter. Either way, I do not feel better after the gym like I was hoping I would and I hate it here.

Surprise Part 7 drop!! I cant believe we've grown up so much. Churro is now over 116k! There's so many kisses in this one!

30 is the age of whimsy… right?? That’s what I’m convincing myself of with the MX outfits Cheza and I picked, anyway. Silliness, here we come.

goddamn the alligator era monsta x outfits were so good what the fuck

I’m back in my screaming about ATLA phase (it’s come and gone for almost 20 years). Sorry yall.

#ateez atla au

It just occurred to me that I’m about a month out from flying to see @raiykei.bsky.social and @alevynn1024.bsky.social!! Hello?? When did it get so close?? (I’m very excited.)

Anxiety please leave me alone. I had plans for today! I was going to be better! Ugh. Fuck.

Oh mouthpiece of the gods Yeosang… not sure if it’s a direct line or an oracle type thing. Dressed so pretty, so delicately, but waging war with words. Ohhhhhh yes yes.

YunWooGi it is! happy churro wipwednesday

i swear i haven't had time (or energy) to write or read fic in days and it feels so much longer than that. please give me my free time back i miss it.

a chonkier wip wednesday bc i forgot last week, sorryyy wee yunsang moment 🥺 who’s excited for me to finally finish this chapter? lol

wipwed with the wound ch 5

super late but no less genuine #wipwednesday! please enjoy another conscription snippet

guess who forgot it was wednesday i'll post something wip-y soon.

monsta x is done-ish, but i'm gonna sit on it while i eat dinner and decide if i'm fully onboard with these rankings

the kpop idol (theoretical) fights begin again

My boss has joined the “snakebites look so natural on your face that I didn’t realize they were new” club, and I think that’s hilarious from a professional perspective